Should we redshirt for Kindergarten?

[Anonymous]

DS turns 5 on August 5th and the cutoff in our area is September 1st. He should be starting Kindergarten in the fall, but his preschool teachers have been advising me to wait a year. Even though we can financially afford another year of pre-school, I really want to send him on time.

For me, it's long-term, not short-term. Redshirting means that he'll still be in high school when he's 18, and might feel like he won't have to listen to teachers and leave school whenever he wants as he'll be an adult. It also means that he'll start his career a year later than most people. Yes, I know some people are going to talk about Malcolm Gladwell's Outliers, but as a parent, I feel like it's my duty to teach DS that he doesn't need trophies or to always be the best in order to be happy.

I also want him to fit in and not feel out of place. I can only imagine how awkward it would feel for him to be 6, while some of his classmates are still 4, 7 while some of his classmates are still 5, etc. I think it's important that he be as normal as possible. His classmates might think there's something wrong with him if he was a year older than them, and I'd hate for him to have a bad reputation for something that was not his decision, but ours. Also, if I redshirt, other parents might think I'm trying to game the system and get DS an unfair advantage, and I don't want to be viewed as a cheater. On top of that, DS might feel insulted and think that we don't have enough confidence in him to do things on schedule.

Also, I strongly believe that the cutoff dates are there for a reason. If kids born in August kids truly weren't ready to start Kindergarten at 5, the cutoff would be earlier. The people laying down the cutoffs have done thorough studies to figure out when kids should start Kindergarten. They know what they're talking about and I feel like it would be arrogant to act as if I knew better.

[Anonymous]

We sent our August boy on time because we thought it was where he should be. His preschool teacher recommended holding him back.

I wouldn't worry so much about fit -- in our school, there were lots of kids held back and several kids sent on time, so the age range of K was 4-6 at the beginning of the year and 5-7 at the end of the school year. For the rest of your questions, it's for you to evaluate. You know your child best.

[Anonymous]

There's no way he's going to feel out of place if you hold him back. Red-shirting is more the norm around here than the exception.

[Anonymous]

Then don't. Done

[Anonymous]

Why would it be awkward being older? My DS is born September 5 so a month younger than yours and went to school "on time" at almost 6 and yes he and many others will be 18 for most if not all of Senior year. Do what you want to do, but don't make excuses about worrying about him being out of place as an older child. I guarantee even if you wait a year, he still won't be the oldest in his class, there will be May/June/July birthdays that are already 6. K is about sitting still, listening and following directions more than anything else. if your kid has the maturity to do that great, if not please be aware K could be really really hard.

[Anonymous]

My kid's birthday is at the end of July, he started on time. He hates being the youngest kid in his class. He says that now because he is 5 and needs SOMETHING to complain about. IMO its not that big a deal.

[Anonymous]

He's not going to be 2 years older if he had any aug bday. He'll be the same age as many & a year older than some. I would definitely redshirt if the preschool teachers are suggesting it.

[Anonymous]

Why are the preschool teachers recommending you wait a year?

[Anonymous]

My kid also an August bday and we also sent her on time. Just my observation, majority of kids were held back by parents. There are kids that turned 10 last Sept when school started while my kid doesn't turn 10 this August. There is only one other kid that is in the same situation as us in a class of 30! Aside from the big fifference in height, she fits right in and keeps up pretty well. Send your kid, he'll be fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are the preschool teachers recommending you wait a year?

That's my question too. Is there something specific about him -- which you've also observed? Or do they just recommend holding back all boys with summer birthdays?

If you think he's ready, then I think it makes sense to send him. In the worst case scenario, it's easier to repeat a year of kindergarten if need be (because you sent him and he wasn't ready) than to jump ahead a year (because you redshirted him even though he was ready).

[Anonymous]

We are red shirting our August boy bc he is small, immature and barely can write letters and can't read at all. He just wasn't ready. Only you can make the decision bc only you know your child best. I have 2 older kids who went on time but were ready. So I know what I was looking for.

[Anonymous]

Send him. My son is a fall kid and went against everyone's advice. He is doing great. He will probably always be short due to genetics so to me that is not a reason to hold back.

[Anonymous]

I was this kid 30 years ago and my parents sent me on time. While I had no problems whatsoever academically, I do think more maturity might have made things a bit easier from a social standpoint.

[Anonymous]

My kid doesn't have a birthday near the cutoff, so he went on time. But I mention it because of the PP who held her son back because she thought he was unprepared. My son was wayyy unprepared just as she described - no reading, not much writing, etc. But here's the thing, kids in kindergarten are all over the map. There are kids reading chapter books and kids who don't the alphabet. Holding your kids back only puts them at one end of that spectrum... but the reality is that there is a ton of catching up that happens in K and 1st grade. Both my kids learned to read "late" by Bethesda standards, and are now off the charts in terms of capability and love for reading. You don't have to hold your kid back to put them at the top of the class; they can get there on their own!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are red shirting our August boy bc he is small, immature and barely can write letters and can't read at all. He just wasn't ready. Only you can make the decision bc only you know your child best. I have 2 older kids who went on time but were ready. So I know what I was looking for.

Why wouldn't you just take the time this summer to help him write and learn to read. My child could read well but couldn't write when he went to K. Funny thing, he picked it up quickly. We sent him as a September kid. He will always be small so who cares.