Should we redshirt for Kindergarten?

[Anonymous]

Yea, I wouldn't put reading and writing as part of kindergarten readiness. I think it's more about ability follow directions, sit in the circle at circle time and so on. Kids are not expected to be reading before they get to school!

[Anonymous]

Good parenting = not skewing things to your kid's advantage. If he were SN, in some way, that would be different.

[Anonymous]

There is no way a bunch of strangers are going to give you better advice on this than (a) your kid's preschool teacher who has a big comparison group from which to assess your child and (b) you the parent who knows your child's strengths and weaknesses.

The only question is whether the preschool teachers think every boy should wait if they are summer kids (in which case, I would question their advice). Otherwise, I would strongly urge you to take their advice if they are basing it on a comparison of peers and generally fitting into the group.

I have a july 31 boy. We sent him on time. He has no trouble with the academic work and tends to find friends on the younger end of the class, so it works. But, he is small even for a summer kid and maturity isn't that great. Sometimes you have a kid who is high in one area and low in another... there just isn't a perfect answer for these kids... .if we held him back, there would have been some benefits for him socially/maturity. But, he would have been even more bored with the academic piece. Just make the best decision you can. I can see how we could have held back and it would have worked, but we are o.k. with how it turned out too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are red shirting our August boy bc he is small, immature and barely can write letters and can't read at all. He just wasn't ready. Only you can make the decision bc only you know your child best. I have 2 older kids who went on time but were ready. So I know what I was looking for.[/quote

Sounds like you have unreasonable expectations. A lot of kids enter kindergarten without being able to write letters & most kids can't read when they enter kindergarten.

[Anonymous]

Why are the teachers saying to wait?

[Anonymous]

Yes you should. It's. It as big a deal now as when they are teenagers.

[Anonymous]

I get what you are saying about feeling shamed or cheating the system, and one would think that after reading the red-shirting threads here, but in real life I don't think most other parents care, just some outliers. Plus, you can't go through life making decisions based on what other people think, but rather make them based on what you think is best for your child.

Also, cut-off dates vary all over the U.S., some before August. Kids mature differently, no expert can pick a date that is correct for everyone, just maybe the majority. I'm of the opinion that kids close to the cut-off will usually be fine in either grade and not stand out.

I held my August birthday kid back. In hindsight I see that he would have been fine starting, but I don't think it has hurt him to be held back either. He sort of fit in when he was the youngest in his pre-school class, but he definitely fits in when he is now the oldest.

I don't think you can make a wrong decision here, what does your significant other think?

[Anonymous]

I would hold him back. He won't be the oldest. Give him an extra year to mature.

[Anonymous]

Boys can mature later, but also they need the mental stimulus. I would look at his level of curiosity and interest in learning and go from there. Some preschools also have Kindergarten curriculum for interested children.

[Anonymous]

I would definitely wait a year.

[Anonymous]

My twin girls have an October birthday (cut off here is September 30) so have been six for almost all of Kindergarten. No one noticed. They'll also be 18 for most of their senior year of high school. As as I, with a birthday three weeks after the cutoff in my district at the time.

This "my kid won't want to listen to teachers his senior year of high school if he's over 18" argument always confuses me. If your child doesn't want to listen to authority figures because they're over 18 I would suggest that there are bigger issues than simply that they are over 18. If you teach your child to respect all authority, especially their teachers, they will respect the teachers regardless of their age if they wish to graduate. Being a DCUM mom, you likely expect him to go to college, right? Are you anticipating problems with him listening to college professors because he'll be over 18?

So basically, he'll be fine if you do decide to wait. But I agree with the others that are urging you to find out why the preschool teachers are encouraging you to redshirt. Do they say this to all boys with August birthdays, or is something else going on?

If they urge all August birthdays, especially boys, to redshirt, then consider sending him on time. But be open to the idea that they're seeing something you don't and have a solid reason for this suggestion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is no way a bunch of strangers are going to give you better advice on this than (a) your kid's preschool teacher who has a big comparison group from which to assess your child and (b) you the parent who knows your child's strengths and weaknesses.

The only question is whether the preschool teachers think every boy should wait if they are summer kids (in which case, I would question their advice). Otherwise, I would strongly urge you to take their advice if they are basing it on a comparison of peers and generally fitting into the group.

This. Find out why they're recommending he be held back. In my nephew's preschool, the standard was to recommend holding back for all boys within x number of weeks of the cut-off. Frankly, I think the preschool just wanted another year of tuition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My twin girls have an October birthday (cut off here is September 30) so have been six for almost all of Kindergarten. No one noticed. They'll also be 18 for most of their senior year of high school. As as I, with a birthday three weeks after the cutoff in my district at the time.

This "my kid won't want to listen to teachers his senior year of high school if he's over 18" argument always confuses me. If your child doesn't want to listen to authority figures because they're over 18 I would suggest that there are bigger issues than simply that they are over 18. If you teach your child to respect all authority, especially their teachers, they will respect the teachers regardless of their age if they wish to graduate. Being a DCUM mom, you likely expect him to go to college, right? Are you anticipating problems with him listening to college professors because he'll be over 18?

So basically, he'll be fine if you do decide to wait. But I agree with the others that are urging you to find out why the preschool teachers are encouraging you to redshirt. Do they say this to all boys with August birthdays, or is something else going on?

If they urge all August birthdays, especially boys, to redshirt, then consider sending him on time. But be open to the idea that they're seeing something you don't and have a solid reason for this suggestion.

Your children are 6. Wait until they're nearing the end of high school and are probably itching to get out of the house and on their own. Then you will probably understand it better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My twin girls have an October birthday (cut off here is September 30) so have been six for almost all of Kindergarten. No one noticed. They'll also be 18 for most of their senior year of high school. As as I, with a birthday three weeks after the cutoff in my district at the time.

This "my kid won't want to listen to teachers his senior year of high school if he's over 18" argument always confuses me. If your child doesn't want to listen to authority figures because they're over 18 I would suggest that there are bigger issues than simply that they are over 18. If you teach your child to respect all authority, especially their teachers, they will respect the teachers regardless of their age if they wish to graduate. Being a DCUM mom, you likely expect him to go to college, right? Are you anticipating problems with him listening to college professors because he'll be over 18?

So basically, he'll be fine if you do decide to wait. But I agree with the others that are urging you to find out why the preschool teachers are encouraging you to redshirt. Do they say this to all boys with August birthdays, or is something else going on?

If they urge all August birthdays, especially boys, to redshirt, then consider sending him on time. But be open to the idea that they're seeing something you don't and have a solid reason for this suggestion.

Your children are 6. Wait until they're nearing the end of high school and are probably itching to get out of the house and on their own. Then you will probably understand it better.

PP back with the twin six year olds. Nice try at the biting insult. Did I somewhere imply that these are my only children?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS turns 5 on August 5th and the cutoff in our area is September 1st. He should be starting Kindergarten in the fall, but his preschool teachers have been advising me to wait a year. Even though we can financially afford another year of pre-school, I really want to send him on time.

For me, it's long-term, not short-term. Redshirting means that he'll still be in high school when he's 18, and might feel like he won't have to listen to teachers and leave school whenever he wants as he'll be an adult. It also means that he'll start his career a year later than most people. Yes, I know some people are going to talk about Malcolm Gladwell's Outliers, but as a parent, I feel like it's my duty to teach DS that he doesn't need trophies or to always be the best in order to be happy.

I also want him to fit in and not feel out of place. I can only imagine how awkward it would feel for him to be 6, while some of his classmates are still 4, 7 while some of his classmates are still 5, etc. I think it's important that he be as normal as possible. His classmates might think there's something wrong with him if he was a year older than them, and I'd hate for him to have a bad reputation for something that was not his decision, but ours. Also, if I redshirt, other parents might think I'm trying to game the system and get DS an unfair advantage, and I don't want to be viewed as a cheater. On top of that, DS might feel insulted and think that we don't have enough confidence in him to do things on schedule.

Also, I strongly believe that the cutoff dates are there for a reason. If kids born in August kids truly weren't ready to start Kindergarten at 5, the cutoff would be earlier. The people laying down the cutoffs have done thorough studies to figure out when kids should start Kindergarten. They know what they're talking about and I feel like it would be arrogant to act as if I knew better.

Do you trust/respect his teachers' opinion? If so, I'd listen to them. My child was in a similar situation and we left it up to his excellent preschool's teachers to recommend what we should do. They were enthusiastic about sending him to K, so we did. At that age, it's mostly about social/emotional readiness and fine/gross motor skills.