Referring to the father of your child inclusively

[Anonymous]

Larlo got Larla pregnant on a one night stand. It was an unexpected pregnancy. They weren't in a relationship before or after. Larla often complains about how he's uninvolved. Their relationship has been strained. I suspect she got pregnant out of a desire to basically rope him in. He's a very high earner and she lives off his child support. She recently posted something around the child's birthday and it said "we were blessed with DD x number of years ago"...

If I was not married or never in a relationship with the father of my child and has an unexpected pregnancy, I wouldn't refer to the father of my child as "we." Isn't that kind of language reserved for actual (former or otherwise) couples?

[Anonymous]

What is your relationship to Larlo and/or Larla? In general, though, I'd say MYOB.

[Anonymous]

Larlo is my brother. He deals with a lot of drama from her. I personally think it's odd that she regularly blasts him on social media but refers to him as "we" when she wants. This is her second child, different fathers.

[Anonymous]

What in the world possessed you to become "friends" with your niece/nephew's baby mama?

[Anonymous]

I don't understand how it is any of your business how your niece's mother addresses her non-relationship with your business. You MYOB. If you brother wants to object, then he's welcome to do so. Otherwise, just ignore it.

And just so you know, she's in a no-win situation. I've seen single mothers who have said done the opposite talking about just themselves (singular) and child and have gotten grief about not including or mentioning the estranged father.

[Anonymous]

Why isn't Larlo a more involved father, and why doesn't he know how to use condoms?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand how it is any of your business how your niece's mother addresses her non-relationship with your business. You MYOB. If you brother wants to object, then he's welcome to do so. Otherwise, just ignore it.

And just so you know, she's in a no-win situation. I've seen single mothers who have said done the opposite talking about just themselves (singular) and child and have gotten grief about not including or mentioning the estranged father.

I think it's everybody's business when she chooses to drag him through the mud on every social media channel possible.

I personally think she deliberately got pregnant by him. Hes an idiot for having unprotected sex with her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Larlo is my brother. He deals with a lot of drama from her. I personally think it's odd that she regularly blasts him on social media but refers to him as "we" when she wants. This is her second child, different fathers.

Well, your brother is an idiot. If he didn't want to pay, then he should have wrapped it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand how it is any of your business how your niece's mother addresses her non-relationship with your business. You MYOB. If you brother wants to object, then he's welcome to do so. Otherwise, just ignore it.

And just so you know, she's in a no-win situation. I've seen single mothers who have said done the opposite talking about just themselves (singular) and child and have gotten grief about not including or mentioning the estranged father.

I think it's everybody's business when she chooses to drag him through the mud on every social media channel possible.

I personally think she deliberately got pregnant by him. Hes an idiot for having unprotected sex with her.

They are both adults. They both chose to have sex. They both chose to have unprotected sex. They both (presumably) know that unprotected sex can result in a baby. So how is this exclusively her fault?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Larlo got Larla pregnant on a one night stand. It was an unexpected pregnancy. They weren't in a relationship before or after. Larla often complains about how he's uninvolved. Their relationship has been strained. I suspect she got pregnant out of a desire to basically rope him in. He's a very high earner and she lives off his child support. She recently posted something around the child's birthday and it said "we were blessed with DD x number of years ago"...

If I was not married or never in a relationship with the father of my child and has an unexpected pregnancy, I wouldn't refer to the father of my child as "we." Isn't that kind of language reserved for actual (former or otherwise) couples?

1) If it was a ONS, how was she "roping him in"?
2) The relationship should be defined. If the relationship is defined as "he pays child support and that's it" and she's not happy with that level of involvement, then sure, bitch about how he's not involved.
3) That said, if the relationship is defined as "he pays child support and that's it" and she is doing all the work of raising a child, you have even less room to complain about her "living off his child support."
4) Why are you friends on FB with someone that you clearly can't stand?
5) Most people think of their children as a blessing, even if they arrived unexpectedly or the relationship with the other parent is strained. What she posted sounds like a nice birthday statement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand how it is any of your business how your niece's mother addresses her non-relationship with your business. You MYOB. If you brother wants to object, then he's welcome to do so. Otherwise, just ignore it.

And just so you know, she's in a no-win situation. I've seen single mothers who have said done the opposite talking about just themselves (singular) and child and have gotten grief about not including or mentioning the estranged father.

I think it's everybody's business when she chooses to drag him through the mud on every social media channel possible.

I personally think she deliberately got pregnant by him. Hes an idiot for having unprotected sex with her.

No, it's not. If you don't want to see your brother "dragged through the mud" then you can unfollow or unfriend her.

Your personal thoughts are of exactly NO relevance to this situation. Either have a relationship with your niece or don't. Personally, if you were my child's aunt, I would not want her to have a relationship with you, since you so clearly disapprove of me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand how it is any of your business how your niece's mother addresses her non-relationship with your business. You MYOB. If you brother wants to object, then he's welcome to do so. Otherwise, just ignore it.

And just so you know, she's in a no-win situation. I've seen single mothers who have said done the opposite talking about just themselves (singular) and child and have gotten grief about not including or mentioning the estranged father.

I think it's everybody's business when she chooses to drag him through the mud on every social media channel possible.

I personally think she deliberately got pregnant by him. Hes an idiot for having unprotected sex with her.

No, it's not. If you don't want to see your brother "dragged through the mud" then you can unfollow or unfriend her.

Your personal thoughts are of exactly NO relevance to this situation. Either have a relationship with your niece or don't. Personally, if you were my child's aunt, I would not want her to have a relationship with you, since you so clearly disapprove of me.

I'm the PP at the top. +1

OP, you can just unfollow/unfriend your niece's mother. If you just want to see photos, then unfollow her so you don't see her posts and periodically go out to her wall and look through the photos to see what's been posted.

This is so definitely not your business. It's not even everyone's business if she posts it publicly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Larlo got Larla pregnant on a one night stand. It was an unexpected pregnancy. They weren't in a relationship before or after. Larla often complains about how he's uninvolved. Their relationship has been strained. I suspect she got pregnant out of a desire to basically rope him in. He's a very high earner and she lives off his child support. She recently posted something around the child's birthday and it said "we were blessed with DD x number of years ago"...

If I was not married or never in a relationship with the father of my child and has an unexpected pregnancy, I wouldn't refer to the father of my child as "we." Isn't that kind of language reserved for actual (former or otherwise) couples?

1) If it was a ONS, how was she "roping him in"?
2) The relationship should be defined. If the relationship is defined as "he pays child support and that's it" and she's not happy with that level of involvement, then sure, bitch about how he's not involved.
3) That said, if the relationship is defined as "he pays child support and that's it" and she is doing all the work of raising a child, you have even less room to complain about her "living off his child support."
4) Why are you friends on FB with someone that you clearly can't stand?
5) Most people think of their children as a blessing, even if they arrived unexpectedly or the relationship with the other parent is strained. What she posted sounds like a nice birthday statement.

This. I've heard of women getting pregnant to force a boyfriend to commit, but never a woman trying to get pregnant from a ONS to rope a guy she doesn't even know in.

Also, as to #2 and #3, I agree--if he's paying child support but is otherwise minimally involved, then I think you need to shut up about her "living off his child support." She's raising his child. And "we" is appropriate, given that both he and she are parents. Unless your brother doesn't see his child as a blessing, which he probably shouldn't admit publicly. And stop being FB friends with someone you dislike.

[Anonymous]

Your brother doesn't just deal w/ drama from her, he helped create it.

Presumably he's an adult. Let him deal with his own life and suffer the consequences of that if need be.

Not your circus, other than being an aunt to the child.

Keep open the possibility that the women you're talking about might have a very different version of things.

[Anonymous]

MYOB