YouTube Influencer Myka Stauffer "rehomes" adopted son

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What would be better for the child, should the adoptive parents keep his name Huxley or offer him a new name to protect his privacy / identity? He is all over the internet, people where he lives now will see an Asian nonverbal child with the name Huxley and know immediately who he is... I know he is not a dog to be named whatever but I do wonder what is in his long term interest. Anyone have ideas about that?

Good point, OMG this family really didn't give 2 f###s thinking about the name, pictures all over Internet and rehoming!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What would be better for the child, should the adoptive parents keep his name Huxley or offer him a new name to protect his privacy / identity? He is all over the internet, people where he lives now will see an Asian nonverbal child with the name Huxley and know immediately who he is... I know he is not a dog to be named whatever but I do wonder what is in his long term interest. Anyone have ideas about that?

The name is the least of the issues. Most families who adopt change their kids names. I only know of a few families who either kept the first/middle name given or did a joint name with the birth parents if that was an option, which is what we did.

He was a beautiful Chinese name. I don't recall it, but why now use that name?

Why not? It reflects his culture, heritage and if his birth mom gave it to him, its the only thing left he has. My child has a name from their culture. Why wouldn't you?

We're saying the same thing I just have too many typos. Yes, use his given Chinese name, not Huxley.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:New Buzzfeed article with quotes from the Ohio State Agency (they are not involved in the process) and the adoption agency (no comment but the spokesperson was critical of Myka).

https://www.buzzfeednews.com/amphtml/stephaniemcneal/stauffers-huxley-youtube-readoption-questions

She made an agreement with an individual person? Like a PP said, is that legal? There should be strict laws prohibiting child swapping. If there is no home study, or at least a background check, there are no safeguards in place to protect a child. Wtf. That is outrageous. Her and her husband are beyond disgusting.

YES, legal. Horrifying but legal. So, so wrong and should be stopped, but the laws are complicated. Read this series (mentioned earlier in the thread) for more on how legal and shockingly common this is. https://www.reuters.com/investigates/adoption/#article/part1 You won’t be able to put the series down, but it will also make you sick.

this is horrific. People should not be able to trade children like this. I don't know much about the adoption process through the proper process, but I hope this is not what she did to get rid of Huxley. Children need to be protected.

She must have it takes years to be adopted, so if he is being fostered there is no way you can say that is his "forever family" because they are foster parents! Also, you don't hand select them, it is who the state has vetted and has availability!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:New Buzzfeed article with quotes from the Ohio State Agency (they are not involved in the process) and the adoption agency (no comment but the spokesperson was critical of Myka).

https://www.buzzfeednews.com/amphtml/stephaniemcneal/stauffers-huxley-youtube-readoption-questions

She made an agreement with an individual person? Like a PP said, is that legal? There should be strict laws prohibiting child swapping. If there is no home study, or at least a background check, there are no safeguards in place to protect a child. Wtf. That is outrageous. Her and her husband are beyond disgusting.

YES, legal. Horrifying but legal. So, so wrong and should be stopped, but the laws are complicated. Read this series (mentioned earlier in the thread) for more on how legal and shockingly common this is. https://www.reuters.com/investigates/adoption/#article/part1 You won’t be able to put the series down, but it will also make you sick.

this is horrific. People should not be able to trade children like this. I don't know much about the adoption process through the proper process, but I hope this is not what she did to get rid of Huxley. Children need to be protected.

She must have it takes years to be adopted, so if he is being fostered there is no way you can say that is his "forever family" because they are foster parents! Also, you don't hand select them, it is who the state has vetted and has availability!

According to BuzzFeed "Val Turner, a spokesperson for the family's local child protection agency, Franklin County Children Services, confirmed to BuzzFeed News that Huxley is not in its custody."
https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/stephaniemcneal/stauffers-huxley-youtube-readoption-questions

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What would be better for the child, should the adoptive parents keep his name Huxley or offer him a new name to protect his privacy / identity? He is all over the internet, people where he lives now will see an Asian nonverbal child with the name Huxley and know immediately who he is... I know he is not a dog to be named whatever but I do wonder what is in his long term interest. Anyone have ideas about that?

The name is the least of the issues. Most families who adopt change their kids names. I only know of a few families who either kept the first/middle name given or did a joint name with the birth parents if that was an option, which is what we did.

He was a beautiful Chinese name. I don't recall it, but why now use that name?

Why not? It reflects his culture, heritage and if his birth mom gave it to him, its the only thing left he has. My child has a name from their culture. Why wouldn't you?

We're saying the same thing I just have too many typos. Yes, use his given Chinese name, not Huxley.

Because he’ll be growing up American with little to no ongoing connection to China. Why burden him with a name from a culture with a language that he doesn’t speak, and that he may not be able to even pronounce correctly?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What would be better for the child, should the adoptive parents keep his name Huxley or offer him a new name to protect his privacy / identity? He is all over the internet, people where he lives now will see an Asian nonverbal child with the name Huxley and know immediately who he is... I know he is not a dog to be named whatever but I do wonder what is in his long term interest. Anyone have ideas about that?

The name is the least of the issues. Most families who adopt change their kids names. I only know of a few families who either kept the first/middle name given or did a joint name with the birth parents if that was an option, which is what we did.

He was a beautiful Chinese name. I don't recall it, but why now use that name?

Why not? It reflects his culture, heritage and if his birth mom gave it to him, its the only thing left he has. My child has a name from their culture. Why wouldn't you?

We're saying the same thing I just have too many typos. Yes, use his given Chinese name, not Huxley.

Its up to the new family. The Chinese name may be complicated and confusing. Huxley doesn't make sense but its his name now and given he isn't very verbal it wouldn't make sense to change it now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What would be better for the child, should the adoptive parents keep his name Huxley or offer him a new name to protect his privacy / identity? He is all over the internet, people where he lives now will see an Asian nonverbal child with the name Huxley and know immediately who he is... I know he is not a dog to be named whatever but I do wonder what is in his long term interest. Anyone have ideas about that?

The name is the least of the issues. Most families who adopt change their kids names. I only know of a few families who either kept the first/middle name given or did a joint name with the birth parents if that was an option, which is what we did.

He was a beautiful Chinese name. I don't recall it, but why now use that name?

Why not? It reflects his culture, heritage and if his birth mom gave it to him, its the only thing left he has. My child has a name from their culture. Why wouldn't you?

We're saying the same thing I just have too many typos. Yes, use his given Chinese name, not Huxley.

Because he’ll be growing up American with little to no ongoing connection to China. Why burden him with a name from a culture with a language that he doesn’t speak, and that he may not be able to even pronounce correctly?

Maybe he will not think its a burden. My child has a name reflective of his culture but growing up in the US. Its not a burden. Its something special birth mom choose and something no one can take away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:New Buzzfeed article with quotes from the Ohio State Agency (they are not involved in the process) and the adoption agency (no comment but the spokesperson was critical of Myka).

https://www.buzzfeednews.com/amphtml/stephaniemcneal/stauffers-huxley-youtube-readoption-questions

She made an agreement with an individual person? Like a PP said, is that legal? There should be strict laws prohibiting child swapping. If there is no home study, or at least a background check, there are no safeguards in place to protect a child. Wtf. That is outrageous. Her and her husband are beyond disgusting.

YES, legal. Horrifying but legal. So, so wrong and should be stopped, but the laws are complicated. Read this series (mentioned earlier in the thread) for more on how legal and shockingly common this is. https://www.reuters.com/investigates/adoption/#article/part1 You won’t be able to put the series down, but it will also make you sick.

this is horrific. People should not be able to trade children like this. I don't know much about the adoption process through the proper process, but I hope this is not what she did to get rid of Huxley. Children need to be protected.

She must have it takes years to be adopted, so if he is being fostered there is no way you can say that is his "forever family" because they are foster parents! Also, you don't hand select them, it is who the state has vetted and has availability!

According to BuzzFeed "Val Turner, a spokesperson for the family's local child protection agency, Franklin County Children Services, confirmed to BuzzFeed News that Huxley is not in its custody."
https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/stephaniemcneal/stauffers-huxley-youtube-readoption-questions

It looks like Myka did a very quick adoption post home study. The new adoption can be very quick depending on the state rules given the Stauffer's will consent to the adoption. They just have to sign consent forms and the adoptive parents attorney or agency file for adoption. He could be adopted by now. Ours took 3 months but only because we had a bad attorney and had to change attorneys. Once we had a new attorney it was very quick. Five minute court hearing.

The child may have been placed with a private agency who has temporary homes. In some agencies they have babies (or kids) go into a "foster" home for 30 days until the revocation period before they go to their new families. We ruled out agencies requiring that as we didn't want someone else caring for our child.

If they did a private adoption, its as simple as them handing over the child, signing consents and the adoptive family filing with the court for adoption. If the family didn't have a home study, depending on the state they'd have to get one either though the court or privately. But, we did private.

Legally they should have filed with ICPC, but that's just paperwork saying the intent to place a child across state lines and many don't do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What would be better for the child, should the adoptive parents keep his name Huxley or offer him a new name to protect his privacy / identity? He is all over the internet, people where he lives now will see an Asian nonverbal child with the name Huxley and know immediately who he is... I know he is not a dog to be named whatever but I do wonder what is in his long term interest. Anyone have ideas about that?

The name is the least of the issues. Most families who adopt change their kids names. I only know of a few families who either kept the first/middle name given or did a joint name with the birth parents if that was an option, which is what we did.

He was a beautiful Chinese name. I don't recall it, but why now use that name?

Why not? It reflects his culture, heritage and if his birth mom gave it to him, its the only thing left he has. My child has a name from their culture. Why wouldn't you?

We're saying the same thing I just have too many typos. Yes, use his given Chinese name, not Huxley.

Because he’ll be growing up American with little to no ongoing connection to China. Why burden him with a name from a culture with a language that he doesn’t speak, and that he may not be able to even pronounce correctly?

DP. He was born in China, and was there for the first 2 years of his life. He is Chinese no matter what. If he understands a language, it would most certainly be a chinese dialect. I agree with changing his name back to his chinese name, instead of stripping him of his heritage completely, and having to keep the sh*tty American name that has now been smeared and exploited all over the internet by his former adoptive family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What would be better for the child, should the adoptive parents keep his name Huxley or offer him a new name to protect his privacy / identity? He is all over the internet, people where he lives now will see an Asian nonverbal child with the name Huxley and know immediately who he is... I know he is not a dog to be named whatever but I do wonder what is in his long term interest. Anyone have ideas about that?

The name is the least of the issues. Most families who adopt change their kids names. I only know of a few families who either kept the first/middle name given or did a joint name with the birth parents if that was an option, which is what we did.

He was a beautiful Chinese name. I don't recall it, but why now use that name?

Why not? It reflects his culture, heritage and if his birth mom gave it to him, its the only thing left he has. My child has a name from their culture. Why wouldn't you?

We're saying the same thing I just have too many typos. Yes, use his given Chinese name, not Huxley.

Because he’ll be growing up American with little to no ongoing connection to China. Why burden him with a name from a culture with a language that he doesn’t speak, and that he may not be able to even pronounce correctly?

DP. He was born in China, and was there for the first 2 years of his life. He is Chinese no matter what. If he understands a language, it would most certainly be a chinese dialect. I agree with changing his name back to his chinese name, instead of stripping him of his heritage completely, and having to keep the sh*tty American name that has now been smeared and exploited all over the internet by his former adoptive family.

Changing his name at 5 is not a good idea. As a middle name, yes, then he can use it later on but this kid has gone through enough changes. I doubt he remembers the language if they didn't keep it up. It is a bad American name. Its ok for a little kid but that kid will be an adult and its terrible. I would suspect they will fully change his name but who knows. But, the name issue is going to be the least of the issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What would be better for the child, should the adoptive parents keep his name Huxley or offer him a new name to protect his privacy / identity? He is all over the internet, people where he lives now will see an Asian nonverbal child with the name Huxley and know immediately who he is... I know he is not a dog to be named whatever but I do wonder what is in his long term interest. Anyone have ideas about that?

The name is the least of the issues. Most families who adopt change their kids names. I only know of a few families who either kept the first/middle name given or did a joint name with the birth parents if that was an option, which is what we did.

He was a beautiful Chinese name. I don't recall it, but why now use that name?

Why not? It reflects his culture, heritage and if his birth mom gave it to him, its the only thing left he has. My child has a name from their culture. Why wouldn't you?

We're saying the same thing I just have too many typos. Yes, use his given Chinese name, not Huxley.

Because he’ll be growing up American with little to no ongoing connection to China. Why burden him with a name from a culture with a language that he doesn’t speak, and that he may not be able to even pronounce correctly?

Maybe he will not think its a burden. My child has a name reflective of his culture but growing up in the US. Its not a burden. Its something special birth mom choose and something no one can take away.

Who knows even if his birth mom chose a name for him. I (also an Asian adoptee) wasn't named by my birth mom but rather by the adoption agency.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What would be better for the child, should the adoptive parents keep his name Huxley or offer him a new name to protect his privacy / identity? He is all over the internet, people where he lives now will see an Asian nonverbal child with the name Huxley and know immediately who he is... I know he is not a dog to be named whatever but I do wonder what is in his long term interest. Anyone have ideas about that?

The name is the least of the issues. Most families who adopt change their kids names. I only know of a few families who either kept the first/middle name given or did a joint name with the birth parents if that was an option, which is what we did.

He was a beautiful Chinese name. I don't recall it, but why now use that name?

Why not? It reflects his culture, heritage and if his birth mom gave it to him, its the only thing left he has. My child has a name from their culture. Why wouldn't you?

We're saying the same thing I just have too many typos. Yes, use his given Chinese name, not Huxley.

Because he’ll be growing up American with little to no ongoing connection to China. Why burden him with a name from a culture with a language that he doesn’t speak, and that he may not be able to even pronounce correctly?

Maybe he will not think its a burden. My child has a name reflective of his culture but growing up in the US. Its not a burden. Its something special birth mom choose and something no one can take away.

Who knows even if his birth mom chose a name for him. I (also an Asian adoptee) wasn't named by my birth mom but rather by the adoption agency.

Very true. But, the name is not a burden.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What would be better for the child, should the adoptive parents keep his name Huxley or offer him a new name to protect his privacy / identity? He is all over the internet, people where he lives now will see an Asian nonverbal child with the name Huxley and know immediately who he is... I know he is not a dog to be named whatever but I do wonder what is in his long term interest. Anyone have ideas about that?

The name is the least of the issues. Most families who adopt change their kids names. I only know of a few families who either kept the first/middle name given or did a joint name with the birth parents if that was an option, which is what we did.

He was a beautiful Chinese name. I don't recall it, but why now use that name?

Why not? It reflects his culture, heritage and if his birth mom gave it to him, its the only thing left he has. My child has a name from their culture. Why wouldn't you?

We're saying the same thing I just have too many typos. Yes, use his given Chinese name, not Huxley.

Because he’ll be growing up American with little to no ongoing connection to China. Why burden him with a name from a culture with a language that he doesn’t speak, and that he may not be able to even pronounce correctly?

Maybe he will not think its a burden. My child has a name reflective of his culture but growing up in the US. Its not a burden. Its something special birth mom choose and something no one can take away.

Who knows even if his birth mom chose a name for him. I (also an Asian adoptee) wasn't named by my birth mom but rather by the adoption agency.

Very true. But, the name is not a burden.

That’s really not for you to say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What would be better for the child, should the adoptive parents keep his name Huxley or offer him a new name to protect his privacy / identity? He is all over the internet, people where he lives now will see an Asian nonverbal child with the name Huxley and know immediately who he is... I know he is not a dog to be named whatever but I do wonder what is in his long term interest. Anyone have ideas about that?

The name is the least of the issues. Most families who adopt change their kids names. I only know of a few families who either kept the first/middle name given or did a joint name with the birth parents if that was an option, which is what we did.

He was a beautiful Chinese name. I don't recall it, but why now use that name?

Why not? It reflects his culture, heritage and if his birth mom gave it to him, its the only thing left he has. My child has a name from their culture. Why wouldn't you?

We're saying the same thing I just have too many typos. Yes, use his given Chinese name, not Huxley.

Because he’ll be growing up American with little to no ongoing connection to China. Why burden him with a name from a culture with a language that he doesn’t speak, and that he may not be able to even pronounce correctly?

Maybe he will not think its a burden. My child has a name reflective of his culture but growing up in the US. Its not a burden. Its something special birth mom choose and something no one can take away.

Who knows even if his birth mom chose a name for him. I (also an Asian adoptee) wasn't named by my birth mom but rather by the adoption agency.

Very true. But, the name is not a burden.

That’s really not for you to say.

Nor is it for you to say. I am a parent of a child with a culture from another country. The choices we make greatly impact that child. How that child views themself and that country is greatly impacted by our choices and believes. And, in our child's case, the name is one thing no one can take away. Our child considers their name very special as we made sure of that.

[Anonymous]

At the very least, I hope they change his name going forward to at least try to protect him. I also hope whomever is taking care of him now can love him unconditionally and provide him with all of the therapies he deserves. I saw that there are now BCBA offering to provide him with free therapy. At least some good has come from this horrible situation.