DC Urban Moms Farce

[Anonymous]

Does anyone have the list of top 100 preschools, in terms of their success rate in future acceptances to Harvard, Princeton or Yale?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone have the list of top 100 preschools, in terms of their success rate in future acceptances to Harvard, Princeton or Yale?

Why? It's not like your kid is going to get in one of those anyway. Yes, I know, stop being cattey bitches. But she started it.

[Anonymous]

Does anyone have a list of OB/GYNs who delivered the most future acceptances to Harvard, Princeton or Yale?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone have a list of OB/GYNs who delivered the most future acceptances to Harvard, Princeton or Yale?

Try Capitol Medical Group. Why, I just happen to have their address and phone number right here in front of me....

[Anonymous]

Whatever you do, though, DON'T deliver anywhere but Sibley or NCRC will reject you for sure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone have a list of OB/GYNs who delivered the most future acceptances to Harvard, Princeton or Yale?

Try Capitol Medical Group. Why, I just happen to have their address and phone number right here in front of me....

Thanks! Is there an Ivy breakdown for home births, birthing centers, and hospital births? How about taxi births? Wading pool births? Doulas? Midwives? C-sections? Vaginal births? Natural births? Drug free births? Medicated births? Sorry, my silver spoon brat just bit me. Get back here, you monster!

[Anonymous]

Do the Stokke or Phil & Ted strollers come with matching helmet? My infant's head is not perfectly round and I need to correct this in order to just focus on her future eating disorder that will no doubt result since I'm feeding her baby food from a jar.

[Anonymous]

Are you telling it's not in your nanny's contract that she must puree fresh, organic veggies and fruits every night before she can go to bed until one of the babies wake up for their night time feeding?!? You should rewrite the contract immediately.

[Anonymous]

saying not telling

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do the Stokke or Phil & Ted strollers come with matching helmet? My infant's head is not perfectly round and I need to correct this in order to just focus on her future eating disorder that will no doubt result since I'm feeding her baby food from a jar.

Call CPS! Stat! Someone's been propping a bottle in that kid's mouth!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do the Stokke or Phil & Ted strollers come with matching helmet? My infant's head is not perfectly round and I need to correct this in order to just focus on her future eating disorder that will no doubt result since I'm feeding her baby food from a jar.

Call CPS! Stat! Someone's been propping a bottle in that kid's mouth!

No call CPS because that baby was fed a bottle, and not the breast!

[Anonymous]

So, I was watching Toddlers and Tiara's on TLC, and I think this looks like a great idea. My dd is the most beautiful child I have ever seen, and I would really like her to get that real Diva feeling. Does anyone know where I could locate a pagent consultant? And any clue on how much money and fame is in it for me? Not that I am in it for money, but if I were, I wonder what my take would be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, I was watching Toddlers and Tiara's on TLC, and I think this looks like a great idea. My dd is the most beautiful child I have ever seen, and I would really like her to get that real Diva feeling. Does anyone know where I could locate a pagent consultant? And any clue on how much money and fame is in it for me? Not that I am in it for money, but if I were, I wonder what my take would be.

I thought you said you were legally blind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, I was watching Toddlers and Tiara's on TLC, and I think this looks like a great idea. My dd is the most beautiful child I have ever seen, and I would really like her to get that real Diva feeling. Does anyone know where I could locate a pagent consultant? And any clue on how much money and fame is in it for me? Not that I am in it for money, but if I were, I wonder what my take would be.

I thought you said you were legally blind.

Shhhhh, I only say that for the dog, and the checks.

[Anonymous]

"No call CPS because that baby was fed a bottle, and not the breast! "

Carm, down. The mother works crazy hours but she pumps 24/7 and , frankly with all the double and triple legacies the kid has, the misshapen head is under the radar. Have you taken a good look at Caroline Kennedy? Yikes!