Mother of 2 from VERY prominent Richmond family arrested by FBI for child p@rn, exploitation, etc

[Anonymous]

For anyone who is a survivor and who is triggered by this story, this might be helpful https://siawso.org/about/ The literature is excellent and there are in person, zoom and telephone meetings.

[Anonymous]

The timeline above makes sense, don't her FB photos stop around 2018? When the family was still together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not to go back to an old point but how does responding to a specific picture request confirm that one is “safe” and presumably not LE. I don’t totally understand this.

It was explained above.

LE cannot provide nude photos.

Making a requested gesture in the photo indicates it was not randomly downloaded.

Thus, proof the photo is likely the person sending it and not LE.

[Anonymous]

Hoppe got very sloppy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hoppe got very sloppy.

You say that like it is a bad thing. Most of us are very happy she was caught now, if not sooner.

But, yes, the risk taking to make such plans with a complete stranger on the internet is beyond belief.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do people keep excusing her revolting actions due to mental illness? Maybe she is just warped and evil, no excuses for her.

That's an interesting perspective on it. How I view it is . . . my brain needs to understand how something so horrible could happen. I don't buy that some people are just "warped and evil." I think some combination of brain development/chemistry and childhood experiences shaped them. Knowing the details helps me feel more calm and in control, like OK, this horrible thing happened, but we can see how she get from A to B. It may be a totally false sense of security in a chaotic world, but I think it's natural to want that touchstone. And to me understanding what caused this in no way excuses what happened. Those are two different issues. There are people who call themselves virtuous pedophiles . . . they are people who no matter what they try cannot help their attraction to children. However, they understand that acting on those feelings would cause harm, so they choose abstinence. Just because something is wrong with you doesn't mean you are exempt from needing to make good choices.

My 5th grader's long time BFF has turned very toxic over the last few years. Eventually this led to my DD requesting therapy, and the therapist explaining that something must have happened in BFF's life for her to act out these toxic cycles. My spouse was worried DD would hear that and then feel really bad about ending the relationship, but I said, oh no!!! She is relieved to hear that there is a "reason" that isn't "you didn't try hard enough to be this girl's friend." But it stood out to me that my husband's read on it was the opposite of my DD's and mine. I guess people's personalities play a role. My DD needed to be told that her ex-friend had been hurt in order to understand why she acted so terribly.

My read is different. Some people were just born with terrible personalities and without parental guidance turn worse. Sometimes even with parental guidance. Nothing traumatic needs to have happened for someone to be evil.

[Anonymous]

Her parents are 100% responsible (directly!) for getting her 2019 conviction thrown out on appeal. Better she had experienced consequences and perhaps court ordered treatment before opening her FetLife account.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do people keep excusing her revolting actions due to mental illness? Maybe she is just warped and evil, no excuses for her.

That's an interesting perspective on it. How I view it is . . . my brain needs to understand how something so horrible could happen. I don't buy that some people are just "warped and evil." I think some combination of brain development/chemistry and childhood experiences shaped them. Knowing the details helps me feel more calm and in control, like OK, this horrible thing happened, but we can see how she get from A to B. It may be a totally false sense of security in a chaotic world, but I think it's natural to want that touchstone. And to me understanding what caused this in no way excuses what happened. Those are two different issues. There are people who call themselves virtuous pedophiles . . . they are people who no matter what they try cannot help their attraction to children. However, they understand that acting on those feelings would cause harm, so they choose abstinence. Just because something is wrong with you doesn't mean you are exempt from needing to make good choices.

My 5th grader's long time BFF has turned very toxic over the last few years. Eventually this led to my DD requesting therapy, and the therapist explaining that something must have happened in BFF's life for her to act out these toxic cycles. My spouse was worried DD would hear that and then feel really bad about ending the relationship, but I said, oh no!!! She is relieved to hear that there is a "reason" that isn't "you didn't try hard enough to be this girl's friend." But it stood out to me that my husband's read on it was the opposite of my DD's and mine. I guess people's personalities play a role. My DD needed to be told that her ex-friend had been hurt in order to understand why she acted so terribly.

My read is different. Some people were just born with terrible personalities and without parental guidance turn worse. Sometimes even with parental guidance. Nothing traumatic needs to have happened for someone to be evil.

Agree. Some people are just wired to lack empathy or a conscience. They might mimic it if it is to their benefit but it does not exert the same curb on impulses. Some people get dopamine from positive shared interactions, some from chaos and discord. Some are more risk taking. Some derive pleasure and excitement from violating the boundaries of others (sex in a park for ex) and some from putting others in fear. Paraphilias tend to occur in clusters and prior to the FetLife account she was exhibiting several. Thus, the 2019 conviction could have led to intervenions, being on a sex offender registry, monitoring, treatment for MI or DU, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do people keep excusing her revolting actions due to mental illness? Maybe she is just warped and evil, no excuses for her.

That's an interesting perspective on it. How I view it is . . . my brain needs to understand how something so horrible could happen. I don't buy that some people are just "warped and evil." I think some combination of brain development/chemistry and childhood experiences shaped them. Knowing the details helps me feel more calm and in control, like OK, this horrible thing happened, but we can see how she get from A to B. It may be a totally false sense of security in a chaotic world, but I think it's natural to want that touchstone. And to me understanding what caused this in no way excuses what happened. Those are two different issues. There are people who call themselves virtuous pedophiles . . . they are people who no matter what they try cannot help their attraction to children. However, they understand that acting on those feelings would cause harm, so they choose abstinence. Just because something is wrong with you doesn't mean you are exempt from needing to make good choices.

My 5th grader's long time BFF has turned very toxic over the last few years. Eventually this led to my DD requesting therapy, and the therapist explaining that something must have happened in BFF's life for her to act out these toxic cycles. My spouse was worried DD would hear that and then feel really bad about ending the relationship, but I said, oh no!!! She is relieved to hear that there is a "reason" that isn't "you didn't try hard enough to be this girl's friend." But it stood out to me that my husband's read on it was the opposite of my DD's and mine. I guess people's personalities play a role. My DD needed to be told that her ex-friend had been hurt in order to understand why she acted so terribly.

My read is different. Some people were just born with terrible personalities and without parental guidance turn worse. Sometimes even with parental guidance. Nothing traumatic needs to have happened for someone to be evil.

Agree. Some people are just wired to lack empathy or a conscience. They might mimic it if it is to their benefit but it does not exert the same curb on impulses. Some people get dopamine from positive shared interactions, some from chaos and discord. Some are more risk taking. Some derive pleasure and excitement from violating the boundaries of others (sex in a park for ex) and some from putting others in fear. Paraphilias tend to occur in clusters and prior to the FetLife account she was exhibiting several. Thus, the 2019 conviction could have led to intervenions, being on a sex offender registry, monitoring, treatment for MI or DU, etc.

I'm the PP and I don't see any conflict between what I said and viewing empathy and conscience as a spectrum, meaning that some people are born with a severe lack of it. That falls under the "brain chemistry/development" I mentioned.

[Anonymous]

She must have had a porn addiction as well, that and sites like FetLife can normalize some really sick things and feed the compulsive behaviors, obsessive thoughts, etc.

Once the facade of "suburban mom" fell away, she likely had a lot of free time and the issues escalated rapidly. That is what PP with knowledge of her and her family have described and it's easy to see how all consuming and sicker her life seems to have become.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not to go back to an old point but how does responding to a specific picture request confirm that one is “safe” and presumably not LE. I don’t totally understand this.

It was explained above.

LE cannot provide nude photos.

Making a requested gesture in the photo indicates it was not randomly downloaded.

Thus, proof the photo is likely the person sending it and not LE.

Wouldn’t she have demanded some proof in return that the LE was also ‘safe?’

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not to go back to an old point but how does responding to a specific picture request confirm that one is “safe” and presumably not LE. I don’t totally understand this.

It was explained above.

LE cannot provide nude photos.

Making a requested gesture in the photo indicates it was not randomly downloaded.

Thus, proof the photo is likely the person sending it and not LE.

Wouldn’t she have demanded some proof in return that the LE was also ‘safe?’

She sounds super dumb. What makes you think at any point during her transgressions she made smart or rational choices?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not to go back to an old point but how does responding to a specific picture request confirm that one is “safe” and presumably not LE. I don’t totally understand this.

It was explained above.

LE cannot provide nude photos.

Making a requested gesture in the photo indicates it was not randomly downloaded.

Thus, proof the photo is likely the person sending it and not LE.

Wouldn’t she have demanded some proof in return that the LE was also ‘safe?’

Given how reckless she was being, maybe not. Maybe it's in the charging docs, I could not read them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She was also a church volunteer. Seeing her name in the same paragraph as youth ministry is sickening: https://myemail.constantcontact.com/St--Paul-s-Memorial-Church-Weekly-Update-for-August-23--2018.html?soid=1124684668493&aid=zdXIklZcnZA

Unfortunate however there are no rules or screening requirements for either.

[Anonymous]

It must have been quite alarming for those around her to watch her descent into madness and various addictions. Posts here and elsewhere have described increasingly erratic behavior, issues with hygiene, etc. It is good that the children were gotten out of her care.

That 2019 conviction really was a missed opportunity.

Had she not had a trust this is the kind of person who could end up becoming homeless.