What do you think of leaving a 2-3 month old behind so you can travel?

[Anonymous]

I have felt so much mom guilt over the years. Going back to work after maternity leave. Working late and missing putting the baby to sleep. Not having enough milk supply to get to one year. Missing certain preschool events during the middle of the work day. Not going on every field trip. All this guilt made me decide to become a SAHM after I had my second child. For the past few years, I have given my whole self to my two children. Currently 9 months pregnant and will give birth to our third child next month.

Spring break is coming up and I really want to go away somewhere tropical. I want to leave our 2-3 month old in care of grandparents. I want to be able to go away for 3-5 days and not feel guilty. I know some moms have to go back to work when child is this age. I will be dedicating the majority of my time to this baby for the next few years. I don't know if it is because it is my third child but I am not overly dedicated to breastfeeding. I have known many women who stopped or mixed formula early on whether it was lack of supply, needing to go to work or straight up just not wanting to breastfeed.

Please tell me it will be ok to leave a 2-3 month old in care with loving grandparents for a few days.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't do it, but you don't need us to tell you that it is ok. Do what works for you and your family and don't look at others for guidance.

[Anonymous]

It will be fine. Several years ago, I left my 6 month old to enjoy a week long beach vacation with my older children. I got to focus all of my attention on them without worrying about naps or the baby eating sand or getting too much sun. I am sure that my baby also had a better time at home with Grandma. I pumped every day and was able to resume breast feeding him when I returned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It will be fine. Several years ago, I left my 6 month old to enjoy a week long beach vacation with my older children. I got to focus all of my attention on them without worrying about naps or the baby eating sand or getting too much sun. I am sure that my baby also had a better time at home with Grandma. I pumped every day and was able to resume breast feeding him when I returned.

I think 6mo is different than 2 months. Hell, many women aren't even able to have sex or walk around comfortably at 2months pp.

[Anonymous]

Personally, 2-3 mo would be a hard time for me to enjoy being away for all the reasons PPs mentioned. But it's really a personal choice.

The main thing I would say from reading your post is that you should try to address the guilt with a therapist. It's not helping your kids to be coming from a place of guilt, and I would imagine it doesn't help you to be clear on what you really want and need.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely not!!!
And yes I would judge you for this.

[Anonymous]

Go for it. I had a work trip (I'm self employed) when DS was 4 weeks. I left him with DH and MIL for 4 days. It was awesome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Personally, 2-3 mo would be a hard time for me to enjoy being away for all the reasons PPs mentioned. But it's really a personal choice.

The main thing I would say from reading your post is that you should try to address the guilt with a therapist. It's not helping your kids to be coming from a place of guilt, and I would imagine it doesn't help you to be clear on what you really want and need.

I don't feel guilt now that I stay home. I have 100% attendance for kid events and activities. I spend tons of quality time with my children.

I know where my guilt comes from - my parents! Parents are very religious and always tried to make me feel guilty even when I shouldn't have to.

I do feel bad about potentially leaving my young baby but I also know that bringing a small baby to the beach is miserable. one of the worst vacations we ever had was going to the beach with a 3 month old when second was born. We had no gear besides pack n play and a car seat stroller combo. We had to hold baby the entire time and it was like 90 degrees outside. It was hot enough without the baby and then you were just tired and hot holding the baby.

[Anonymous]

It's really asking a lot to ask your child's grandparents to keep a 2-3 month child so you can go on VACATION. Mommy guilt aside. They are extremely needy lumps. Take a trip some other time. Part of having children is not always getting to do what you want.

[Anonymous]

Before I had my daughter I would have said yes, go. My mother left me with a revolving door of nannies for my while entire childhood. I can't remember any conversation with her that doesn't involve her standing in her closet or in the bathroom with her back to me.

And I thought I'd parent the same way. I came out fine. Then she was born, and there was no way in hell.

We bring the kids on vacation and bring someone with us so DH and I can slip away for alone time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Before I had my daughter I would have said yes, go. My mother left me with a revolving door of nannies for my while entire childhood. I can't remember any conversation with her that doesn't involve her standing in her closet or in the bathroom with her back to me.

And I thought I'd parent the same way. I came out fine. Then she was born, and there was no way in hell.

We bring the kids on vacation and bring someone with us so DH and I can slip away for alone time.

DH suggested we bring MIL with us but I don't want to travel with MIL.

I actually suggested that DH stay behind with MIL and baby and I will travel with our older children alone.

Don't know if it matters but I have awful pregnancies. I have been sick and puking these past 9 months. I'm so uncomfortable. I just want to lay out at the beach and relax for a few days. Our kids are in elementary school and awesome to travel with nowadays. They can spend a few hours at kids club while I hit the spa. It sounds lovely.

[Anonymous]

You sound selfish.

2-3months is v young. The baby is nursing/feeding around the clock.
How can an older g/p manage that?

I would.feel less.judgy if your child was 6months or older.

Take grandparents with you .

[Anonymous]

I would trust my mother and my best friend's mother with my 2 month old, so if that was my only concern I would do it.
However, I would rather not be away from my baby. It's a personal thing.

If you think you need it and will have fun, go for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound selfish.

2-3months is v young. The baby is nursing/feeding around the clock.
How can an older g/p manage that?

I would.feel less.judgy if your child was 6months or older.

Take grandparents with you .

I know I am being selfish and I want to be selfish for once. I have given up so much for these kids. Pregnancy has been awful. I already feel like I need a break from this unborn child.

[Anonymous]

I agree with others that you sound incredibly selfish. 2-3 months is too young and putting too much on the grandparents. I'd have a different opinion if the baby would be 6 months and older, but 2-3 months just isn't the right time.