My sister let her son drop out of UVA to work a dead-end job

[Anonymous]

While living at home. She sees nothing wrong with it, "at least he's working ... the money's not that bad." Average summer internship of a McIntire student is more than he could make in 6 months. Even worse, she's all over Facebook posting about how great it is to have all the family together every weekend. The young man is 20 years old.

Am I wrong to judge? It's painful to witness this stupidity. Zero regard for his long term success.

[Anonymous]

Yes, you are wrong to judge. A lot can be going on behind the scenes.

[Anonymous]

Yes you were always going to be wrong to judge. You do not know the full ins and outs of what may be going on. When I was in college I left school to take a gap year which of course I told everybody it was to work (which I was workin), however I also had just had a mental break down but I wasn't going to add that to the story that I was telling everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, you are wrong to judge. A lot can be going on behind the scenes.

This.

[Anonymous]

Eh, a friend of mine dropped out of college, floundered for a few years, picked himself up and started his own consulting business. He's far more successful than the rest of us who stayed in college.

All that to say, college isn't right for every 18-21 year old.

[Anonymous]

Just support your Sister and Nephew. There are lots of things that may have happened to cause this that she obviously is not wanting to share

[Anonymous]

I'm 1000% positive OP does not know the whole story. And she knows she doesn't know the whole story. Keep your eyes on your own paper missy!

[Anonymous]

At this age a lot of kids struggle with mental health issues. UVA will probably readmit him when he is ready. He may just need a break to shake things off or gets some good meds to help out

[Anonymous]

I do know the whole story -- she coddled him and made him a weak nancy and now she's happy he boomeranged. It's beyond selfish. And bragging about him being home on facebook shows how deluded she is. It should be embarrassing, not celebrated. Think about what she's signaling to her son and his younger siblings.

[Anonymous]

Good luck explaining the gap when trying to get a job...

[Anonymous]

There's a limit to what you can force a 19 year old to do. Around this time parents have to kind of be supportive as kids figure it out.

And as other PP's have stated you have no clue what's going on in real life, just what they're telling people. MYOB.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do know the whole story -- she coddled him and made him a weak nancy and now she's happy he boomeranged. It's beyond selfish. And bragging about him being home on facebook shows how deluded she is. It should be embarrassing, not celebrated. Think about what she's signaling to her son and his younger siblings.

Yeah you definitely don't know the whole story. No way I would be discussing the details of my kid's issues with someone who talks like this and thinks like this about him.

[Anonymous]

Yes you are wrong to judge. If you can't be supportive leave them alone.

Also, "let him drop out" is so misguided. He is an adult. There is nothing your sister could have done to make him stay or succeed. Should she let him be homeless?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do know the whole story -- she coddled him and made him a weak nancy and now she's happy he boomeranged. It's beyond selfish. And bragging about him being home on facebook shows how deluded she is. It should be embarrassing, not celebrated. Think about what she's signaling to her son and his younger siblings.

A weak "nancy"? Really?

[Anonymous]

Maybe he flunked out...so maybe it wasn't that she "let him". Some kids who are super stars in high school, get to college and just lose all motivation. They are no longer the smartest kid there and it's a huge adjustment. Maybe it just wasn't for him...I doubt he had great grades and just left.