My sister let her son drop out of UVA to work a dead-end job

[Anonymous]

^ oh dear, I think this may be the worst post

[Anonymous]

I'm going to suggest that a woman who raised a son who got into UVA probably knows a thing or two about reaching goals...

^ oh dear, I think this may be the worst post

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm going to suggest that a woman who raised a son who got into UVA probably knows a thing or two about reaching goals...

Bc UVA is Harvard? Get over yourself, it's a state school.

OP - while people are enjoying bagging on you and while you could have been gentler, I get what you are saying and it's not as rare as you'd think. These helicopter moms are raising their kids - ESP boys - with some much hovering and with so many pats on the back every time they take a piss, that when these boys get to college and face any adversity - a hard class; a class that's curved so not everyone can get an A; or simple not having home cooked meals and rides around town and 24-7 positive affirmation - they fall apart. As much as people here LOVE to spin everything as mental illness - it typically isn't. It's just a realization that life was really good in mama's arms so they want to go running back there and instead of taking tough love approaches that were more common back in the day, mama is happy to have her baby back. And in no way do I believe that ALL of these guys turn into these wonderful success stories - bc there are plenty of 35 yr olds still living at home and aimless in their career, if they have one at all.

[Anonymous]

OP, get over it. The world needs ditch diggers too. Bottom line: Watch YOUR kids and leave everybody else's alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, get over it. The world needs ditch diggers too. Bottom line: Watch YOUR kids and leave everybody else's alone.

Family is supposed to help family. It's likely the kid's mom is in her own world and doesn't realize she's a detriment to her kid's success.

[Anonymous]

I just went to the wedding of one of my college friends who dropped out during our junior year and had a really hard time of it for a few years--drugs, excessive drinking, hooking up with the wrong guys, bad self-image, no steady income. She was dealing with a lot of issues, including depression.

With the help of family and friends, she got herself together. She lost 100+ pounds and got healthy; she's kept the weight off for 10 years and is a fitness and body image expert. She has a wonderful job. She mentors college students. She gives back so much to her community. She just married a wonderful man--you should have seen the love radiating off of them at the wedding.

She gave a thank-you speech at her wedding to all the friends and family who didn't give up on her and helped her through those very difficult years. Watching her--so beautiful and poised and so beloved by so many that she, in turn, has helped over the years--was truly like watching a fairy tale.

Don't write people off for making mistakes, especially in their 20s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just went to the wedding of one of my college friends who dropped out during our junior year and had a really hard time of it for a few years--drugs, excessive drinking, hooking up with the wrong guys, bad self-image, no steady income. She was dealing with a lot of issues, including depression.

With the help of family and friends, she got herself together. She lost 100+ pounds and got healthy; she's kept the weight off for 10 years and is a fitness and body image expert. She has a wonderful job. She mentors college students. She gives back so much to her community. She just married a wonderful man--you should have seen the love radiating off of them at the wedding.

She gave a thank-you speech at her wedding to all the friends and family who didn't give up on her and helped her through those very difficult years. Watching her--so beautiful and poised and so beloved by so many that she, in turn, has helped over the years--was truly like watching a fairy tale.

Don't write people off for making mistakes, especially in their 20s.

Forgot to add that she also went back and completed her degree, and paid for it herself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wtf at all the dropout success stories? No way in hell the majority of dropouts go back and finish. A crappy job and a doting mom could be the rest of his life. And the longer he wants to return the more likely he never will.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Good luck explaining the gap when trying to get a job...

Really? Nobody cares about job "gaps" that occur before the acquisition of a bachelor's degree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sure she's putting a positive spin on it on social media because what else could she say? Little Jaden is home because he had a mental health crisis/failed out/drank too much? Do you think she should go on social media and say she is disappointed with her son's failure?

OP clearly thinks she should be so embarrassed as to not mention anything on social media. You know what? Some people try to find positives in bad situations and need to find a way to appreciate that. I find that your generation, OP, fills this "way of appreciation" via explanatory FB posts (way, way more than mine at 36, never mind young people).

Yes, she should be embarrassed her college-aged son has returned home after a failed and wasted attempt at college. There's nothing to BOAST about it. I don't think it's "spin" I think she's genuinely excited to have him home. What does the "bragging" tell her son and the younger siblings? That it's OK to quit and be a loser underachiever. She's normalizing immature behavior.

There's far more to the story -- I wouldn't have made this thread if it was mental health or a ailment. She coddled him and continues to coddle him, thus, unable to function and all too eager to run home to mommy's warm embrace. This is conditioned behavior that won't end because she's continue to coddle him.

You can't possibly be an actual adult. Are you one of this kid's younger siblings, or maybe just a troll making it up out of whole cloth?

I'm a concerned aunt who saw this happening from a mile away. Predicted it five year ago.

Well, you must be very pleased with yourself then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good luck explaining the gap when trying to get a job...

Really? Nobody cares about job "gaps" that occur before the acquisition of a bachelor's degree.

Sure, if you want a job at a company that hires every warm body. At my office taking five or six years to finish a BA automatically throws your resume in the electronic trash.

[Anonymous]

Helicopter moms love spinning and playing pretend on facebook.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good luck explaining the gap when trying to get a job...

Really? Nobody cares about job "gaps" that occur before the acquisition of a bachelor's degree.

Sure, if you want a job at a company that hires every warm body. At my office taking five or six years to finish a BA automatically throws your resume in the electronic trash.

How would anyone know ?
I only list my year the degree was obtained.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good luck explaining the gap when trying to get a job...

Really? Nobody cares about job "gaps" that occur before the acquisition of a bachelor's degree.

Sure, if you want a job at a company that hires every warm body. At my office taking five or six years to finish a BA automatically throws your resume in the electronic trash.

How would anyone know ?
I only list my year the degree was obtained.

Years attended? Transcript verification? "Explain this job you had [back home] for two years"? How about grad school admissions?

Like I said, if the kid wants to work at some low-prestige company, sure, I doubt many will notice or care. And if the kid never wants to go to a good grad school, who cares, I guess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good luck explaining the gap when trying to get a job...

Really? Nobody cares about job "gaps" that occur before the acquisition of a bachelor's degree.

Sure, if you want a job at a company that hires every warm body. At my office taking five or six years to finish a BA automatically throws your resume in the electronic trash.

How would anyone know ?
I only list my year the degree was obtained.

Years attended? Transcript verification? "Explain this job you had [back home] for two years"? How about grad school admissions?

Like I said, if the kid wants to work at some low-prestige company, sure, I doubt many will notice or care. And if the kid never wants to go to a good grad school, who cares, I guess.

I have never had anyone look at a transcript.
I don't list years attended even though I graduated on time.
Nor do I list every job I had, WHO CARES!