My sister let her son drop out of UVA to work a dead-end job

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do know the whole story -- she coddled him and made him a weak nancy and now she's happy he boomeranged. It's beyond selfish. And bragging about him being home on facebook shows how deluded she is. It should be embarrassing, not celebrated. Think about what she's signaling to her son and his younger siblings.

She sounds like a great mom to be supportive of her kid while he figures things out. Would it be better if she were ashamed of him and shunning him?

[Anonymous]

Yes, you are definitely wrong to judge.

Jeez. Your poor sister (and nephew)!!

[Anonymous]

You didn't see his grades this semester. You didn't get the "I'm gonna fail" "I can't deal" texts in the middle of the night. You don't know about the counseling sessions. You do not know.

[Anonymous]

I'm sure she's putting a positive spin on it on social media because what else could she say? Little Jaden is home because he had a mental health crisis/failed out/drank too much? Do you think she should go on social media and say she is disappointed with her son's failure?

[Anonymous]

The question is how is your posting this info helpful to nephew and sister? What are we supposed to do? Btw, it isn't your life so MYOB

[Anonymous]

Well, at least he's not 46...with multiple degrees but 2 years of paying work in the last 24 years...living at home with his parents and being supported by them. That's my BIL and he has no safety net once ILs are gone.

It's fine for your friend to be supportive of her son for a while as he finds his true calling, but at some point he should be out on his own and not living at home - no matter what kind of job he holds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do know the whole story -- she coddled him and made him a weak nancy and now she's happy he boomeranged. It's beyond selfish. And bragging about him being home on facebook shows how deluded she is. It should be embarrassing, not celebrated. Think about what she's signaling to her son and his younger siblings.

I think both your sister and her son would be MUCH better without you in their lives.

[Anonymous]

He is 18 and do what he wants. You need to MYOB.

[Anonymous]

Can

[Anonymous]

My older brother had a nervous break down when he was a freshman in college, he dropped out of school and moved back home. It took him a while to get back on his feet but he went back to college when he was 24 and then graduated and now has a good job. You do not know what is really happening with your nephew, so don't be judgmental.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:While living at home. She sees nothing wrong with it, "at least he's working ... the money's not that bad." Average summer internship of a McIntire student is more than he could make in 6 months. Even worse, she's all over Facebook posting about how great it is to have all the family together every weekend. The young man is 20 years old.

Am I wrong to judge? It's painful to witness this stupidity. Zero regard for his long term success.

Yes, MYOB.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Good luck explaining the gap when trying to get a job...

Ridiculous. It's very common to take time off or to take longer than four years to finish an undergraduate degree program. I took a year off to work part-time while taking care of my ailing parent. No potential employer has ever even mentioned this, and I've had jobs that required transcripts and intensive background checks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, you are wrong to judge. A lot can be going on behind the scenes.

This.

+2000000

[Anonymous]

I'm with you OP. I would be very concerned if this happened to my nephew. Sister should not be bragging about it on Facebook. Kids learn a lot by toughing it out. Can you invite him for a nice lunch and just talk with him alone. Be compassionate and mostly just listen. Over time you could try to gently but firmly influence him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Good luck explaining the gap when trying to get a job...

What Gap? How would nayone know?
You list the year you graduate and the degree on resume. Problem solved.


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