How can I marry a rich guy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m amused by all these posters saying “a successful guy in his 30s will only marry an equally successful woman.”

No. That happens, but rarely at this age because by 35, successful people are in a trajectory where the last thing they need is a partner in the same phase. It’s going to make kids impossible and you’re going to be at odds a lot.

More often, they marry a woman “on their level” — similar education background, maybe spent a few years in law or consulting before bailing for an easier gig, has some family money/support to sweeten the deal. But she’s not got some hard charging career— she’s fully ready to pivot to kids with a less stressful job or maybe even being a SAHM.

OP, that could be you. I think you need to learn to brand yourself. You’re coming off as a bit of a sad sack. Learn to tell your story in a more appealing way, then go hard for corporate lawyers or similar on dating apps. Ask friends who work for high paying employers if they know any single guys. Then sell yourself. Be charming, upbeat, interested in him. Do you have a cute hobby that gives you an excuse to dress super sexy on an early date? Something like roller derby? You need to get methodical about this.

As someone who married a rich guy when I was in my thirties (he was divorced, older than me - less than 10 years, no kids), I agree with this.

Give yourself a makeover. Hair, clothes, etc. Not too provocative, but more put together. Feel good about yourself and think about what you can bring to the table. Maybe you aren't a gunner with a CEO position, but there are many people who are interested in a nice, normal, stable person who can maintain the homefront. Start dating and date a lot -- you will have to kiss a lot of frogs, and you are behind. I think the best place to start is asking friends to set you up on dates.

I also don't blame OP for wanting to find a financially stable partner - everyone is ripping her, but marriage is not only about love, it's about a broader relationship based on what you bring to the table and how you make your life. Some marriages are the "traditional" type where the man makes the money and the woman takes care of the domestic situation. I am sure any "rich" man she meets knows what he wants - she isn't going to trick any of them into getting married. LOL

[Anonymous]

Guys, OP has a college degree and works at a non-profit! You're acting like she is a squeegee kid or something

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m amused by all these posters saying “a successful guy in his 30s will only marry an equally successful woman.”

No. That happens, but rarely at this age because by 35, successful people are in a trajectory where the last thing they need is a partner in the same phase. It’s going to make kids impossible and you’re going to be at odds a lot.

More often, they marry a woman “on their level” — similar education background, maybe spent a few years in law or consulting before bailing for an easier gig, has some family money/support to sweeten the deal. But she’s not got some hard charging career— she’s fully ready to pivot to kids with a less stressful job or maybe even being a SAHM.

OP, that could be you. I think you need to learn to brand yourself. You’re coming off as a bit of a sad sack. Learn to tell your story in a more appealing way, then go hard for corporate lawyers or similar on dating apps. Ask friends who work for high paying employers if they know any single guys. Then sell yourself. Be charming, upbeat, interested in him. Do you have a cute hobby that gives you an excuse to dress super sexy on an early date? Something like roller derby? You need to get methodical about this.

As someone who married a rich guy when I was in my thirties (he was divorced, older than me - less than 10 years, no kids), I agree with this.

Give yourself a makeover. Hair, clothes, etc. Not too provocative, but more put together. Feel good about yourself and think about what you can bring to the table. Maybe you aren't a gunner with a CEO position, but there are many people who are interested in a nice, normal, stable person who can maintain the homefront. Start dating and date a lot -- you will have to kiss a lot of frogs, and you are behind. I think the best place to start is asking friends to set you up on dates.

I also don't blame OP for wanting to find a financially stable partner - everyone is ripping her, but marriage is not only about love, it's about a broader relationship based on what you bring to the table and how you make your life. Some marriages are the "traditional" type where the man makes the money and the woman takes care of the domestic situation. I am sure any "rich" man she meets knows what he wants - she isn't going to trick any of them into getting married. LOL

+1 everyone rips posters who complain about a spouse who lacks ambition... "well why did marry someone like that?" Now everyone is ripping OP for wanting to marry someone who is on the same page as her

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok the question is WHERE do you meet these type of guys

Not what the standards are that you should already meet

You’re not up to par darling. You will never marry rich. You man f$ck but not marry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m amused by all these posters saying “a successful guy in his 30s will only marry an equally successful woman.”

No. That happens, but rarely at this age because by 35, successful people are in a trajectory where the last thing they need is a partner in the same phase. It’s going to make kids impossible and you’re going to be at odds a lot.

More often, they marry a woman “on their level” — similar education background, maybe spent a few years in law or consulting before bailing for an easier gig, has some family money/support to sweeten the deal. But she’s not got some hard charging career— she’s fully ready to pivot to kids with a less stressful job or maybe even being a SAHM.

OP, that could be you. I think you need to learn to brand yourself. You’re coming off as a bit of a sad sack. Learn to tell your story in a more appealing way, then go hard for corporate lawyers or similar on dating apps. Ask friends who work for high paying employers if they know any single guys. Then sell yourself. Be charming, upbeat, interested in him. Do you have a cute hobby that gives you an excuse to dress super sexy on an early date? Something like roller derby? You need to get methodical about this.

As someone who married a rich guy when I was in my thirties (he was divorced, older than me - less than 10 years, no kids), I agree with this.

Give yourself a makeover. Hair, clothes, etc. Not too provocative, but more put together. Feel good about yourself and think about what you can bring to the table. Maybe you aren't a gunner with a CEO position, but there are many people who are interested in a nice, normal, stable person who can maintain the homefront. Start dating and date a lot -- you will have to kiss a lot of frogs, and you are behind. I think the best place to start is asking friends to set you up on dates.

I also don't blame OP for wanting to find a financially stable partner - everyone is ripping her, but marriage is not only about love, it's about a broader relationship based on what you bring to the table and how you make your life. Some marriages are the "traditional" type where the man makes the money and the woman takes care of the domestic situation. I am sure any "rich" man she meets knows what he wants - she isn't going to trick any of them into getting married. LOL

+1 everyone rips posters who complain about a spouse who lacks ambition... "well why did marry someone like that?" Now everyone is ripping OP for wanting to marry someone who is on the same page as her

But OP herself said she lacks ambition. Unless you consider the desire to hitch herself to someone else’s ambition wagon ambition.

I think the negative reactions are coming from the fact that OP is so transparent about wanting to use a guy’s resources for her own purposes and not really care about the guy at all. That’s pretty cold.

[Anonymous]

My sister married a rich guy at 33. She was previously never married, no kids, has a Master's degree and decent career of her own. The met on eHarmony

[Anonymous]

Not in DC. You need a more conservative guy who is into the traditional marriage roles. Virginia and further south. Church, gyms, triathlons. Plenty of guys who do not want equality in the home but want to be taken care of and their home taken care of and they just work and play golf etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m amused by all these posters saying “a successful guy in his 30s will only marry an equally successful woman.”

No. That happens, but rarely at this age because by 35, successful people are in a trajectory where the last thing they need is a partner in the same phase. It’s going to make kids impossible and you’re going to be at odds a lot.

More often, they marry a woman “on their level” — similar education background, maybe spent a few years in law or consulting before bailing for an easier gig, has some family money/support to sweeten the deal. But she’s not got some hard charging career— she’s fully ready to pivot to kids with a less stressful job or maybe even being a SAHM.

OP, that could be you. I think you need to learn to brand yourself. You’re coming off as a bit of a sad sack. Learn to tell your story in a more appealing way, then go hard for corporate lawyers or similar on dating apps. Ask friends who work for high paying employers if they know any single guys. Then sell yourself. Be charming, upbeat, interested in him. Do you have a cute hobby that gives you an excuse to dress super sexy on an early date? Something like roller derby? You need to get methodical about this.

As someone who married a rich guy when I was in my thirties (he was divorced, older than me - less than 10 years, no kids), I agree with this.

Give yourself a makeover. Hair, clothes, etc. Not too provocative, but more put together. Feel good about yourself and think about what you can bring to the table. Maybe you aren't a gunner with a CEO position, but there are many people who are interested in a nice, normal, stable person who can maintain the homefront. Start dating and date a lot -- you will have to kiss a lot of frogs, and you are behind. I think the best place to start is asking friends to set you up on dates.

I also don't blame OP for wanting to find a financially stable partner - everyone is ripping her, but marriage is not only about love, it's about a broader relationship based on what you bring to the table and how you make your life. Some marriages are the "traditional" type where the man makes the money and the woman takes care of the domestic situation. I am sure any "rich" man she meets knows what he wants - she isn't going to trick any of them into getting married. LOL

Agree with this but I'm curious, since you say you did this -- does this describe you? Are you a SAHM now while your husband makes the money?

Also, interested if the theory that about family is relevant. Is your family well off? I think this can often be a much bigger factor for rich men than a woman's actual income. I think a lot of wealthy guys are more likely to be interested in a woman with a low salary but a very comfortable family, than a higher earning woman from a family with no money. It's strategic -- someone who comes from some money will (1) probably inherit something, and (2) will not be expected to foot the bill for elder care or other issues. Even if she doesn't make much, she also isn't introducing long-term costs to the relationship and might even add to your wealth with an inheritance later in life (or stuff like family contributions to college accounts).

I am a decent earning woman but my family struggles and the one guy I dated who had actual money was really put off by it. It was pretty depressing to learn. Your family matters a lot more in this stuff than people like to admit.

[Anonymous]

Shareholders meeting. Buy 1 share and show up

Boating event

Online

Professional conferences

Church

[Anonymous]

The real question is, how do you NOT marry a rich man? Is a man even worth marrying if he is not rich? I look at my friends and harshly judge those that did not land a rich husband. It's a marker of failure for a woman to marry anything under the top 1%

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m amused by all these posters saying “a successful guy in his 30s will only marry an equally successful woman.”

No. That happens, but rarely at this age because by 35, successful people are in a trajectory where the last thing they need is a partner in the same phase. It’s going to make kids impossible and you’re going to be at odds a lot.

More often, they marry a woman “on their level” — similar education background, maybe spent a few years in law or consulting before bailing for an easier gig, has some family money/support to sweeten the deal. But she’s not got some hard charging career— she’s fully ready to pivot to kids with a less stressful job or maybe even being a SAHM.

OP, that could be you. I think you need to learn to brand yourself. You’re coming off as a bit of a sad sack. Learn to tell your story in a more appealing way, then go hard for corporate lawyers or similar on dating apps. Ask friends who work for high paying employers if they know any single guys. Then sell yourself. Be charming, upbeat, interested in him. Do you have a cute hobby that gives you an excuse to dress super sexy on an early date? Something like roller derby? You need to get methodical about this.

As someone who married a rich guy when I was in my thirties (he was divorced, older than me - less than 10 years, no kids), I agree with this.

Give yourself a makeover. Hair, clothes, etc. Not too provocative, but more put together. Feel good about yourself and think about what you can bring to the table. Maybe you aren't a gunner with a CEO position, but there are many people who are interested in a nice, normal, stable person who can maintain the homefront. Start dating and date a lot -- you will have to kiss a lot of frogs, and you are behind. I think the best place to start is asking friends to set you up on dates.

I also don't blame OP for wanting to find a financially stable partner - everyone is ripping her, but marriage is not only about love, it's about a broader relationship based on what you bring to the table and how you make your life. Some marriages are the "traditional" type where the man makes the money and the woman takes care of the domestic situation. I am sure any "rich" man she meets knows what he wants - she isn't going to trick any of them into getting married. LOL

Agree with this but I'm curious, since you say you did this -- does this describe you? Are you a SAHM now while your husband makes the money?

Also, interested if the theory that about family is relevant. Is your family well off? I think this can often be a much bigger factor for rich men than a woman's actual income. I think a lot of wealthy guys are more likely to be interested in a woman with a low salary but a very comfortable family, than a higher earning woman from a family with no money. It's strategic -- someone who comes from some money will (1) probably inherit something, and (2) will not be expected to foot the bill for elder care or other issues. Even if she doesn't make much, she also isn't introducing long-term costs to the relationship and might even add to your wealth with an inheritance later in life (or stuff like family contributions to college accounts).

I am a decent earning woman but my family struggles and the one guy I dated who had actual money was really put off by it. It was pretty depressing to learn. Your family matters a lot more in this stuff than people like to admit.

I'm not a SAHM. I work and have an advanced degree (same as when I met him), but I don't make a ton of money. DH is from generational wealth. My family is blue collar. Fortunately, I was smart and able to get myself through college and grad school. It was a hell of a struggle with no family financial support though. I was lucky to meet DH and we truly love each other and I am happy. However, if he had been broke, it is unlikely I would have married him because I grew up poor and know what it's like firsthand. It's very hard on a marriage, hard on kids, etc when you have no money. Love doesn't cut it. I didn't want to deal with ever again that if I could avoid it. I do a lot to keep our family together and am responsible for most things on the homefront and my work, but that's fine with me. The work I do has value even though society doesn't give women the credit they deserve, so I don't feel guilty about not bringing money to the table.

His family was very open to me; I think because I am educated. Honestly, they are so well off, it didn't matter to them if my family had any money or not. I think they only cared if I made DH happy. That guy you dated & his family were jerks. IMO, most people who are "rich" are there mostly by luck. Often it is the opportunities that families pass down via generations that allow people to prosper. And don't @ me about that. Of course many work hard, but some start life on third base (even if they don't realize it).

[Anonymous]

OP, you need to reframe this conversation and look for an ambitious guy who works hard and is good with money. And based on conversations with well-off guys in my life, one element they take into consideration when looking at a life partner is the amount of debt they would inherit through marriage. If at all possible, I'd work to clean that up so that you can be proud of it when entering a relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Shareholders meeting. Buy 1 share and show up

Boating event

Online

Professional conferences

Church

Are you someone’s grandmother? Nobody goes to share holder meetings. And randoms don’t go to professional conferences. You get invited, when, wait for it…you are in the same profession. I do like the idea of runners groups or triathlons. Ambitious people tend to enjoy sports and achieving physical goals.

[Anonymous]

Online dating is the easiest way. Charity events are also worth a try. Figure out how to market yourself and be confident. Dating (not sleeping with) several people at once is a confidence booster.
I married a successful man in my mid thirties. I have an advanced degree, family money but no trust fund, a good job, and I go for a natural look most days. I have clear, smooth skin, good hair, white teeth and about a 18.5 BMI. I have some shared type A hobbies with DH. Not a SAHM because I don't want to be dependent, but I enjoy a much better lifestyle than I would on my own. Married late because I was "focused on my education and my career" (actually, I was in a bad relationship that took me way too long to leave). I think DH and I both feel like we married well, which is important. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

If you are open to dating men 10 years older, lots.of divorced men who would find you a catch. Maybe find one recently divorced since they likely came from sex starved.marriages.