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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m amused by all these posters saying “a successful guy in his 30s will only marry an equally successful woman.”

No. That happens, but rarely at this age because by 35, successful people are in a trajectory where the last thing they need is a partner in the same phase. It’s going to make kids impossible and you’re going to be at odds a lot.

More often, they marry a woman “on their level” — similar education background, maybe spent a few years in law or consulting before bailing for an easier gig, has some family money/support to sweeten the deal. But she’s not got some hard charging career— she’s fully ready to pivot to kids with a less stressful job or maybe even being a SAHM.

OP, that could be you. I think you need to learn to brand yourself. You’re coming off as a bit of a sad sack. Learn to tell your story in a more appealing way, then go hard for corporate lawyers or similar on dating apps. Ask friends who work for high paying employers if they know any single guys. Then sell yourself. Be charming, upbeat, interested in him. Do you have a cute hobby that gives you an excuse to dress super sexy on an early date? Something like roller derby? You need to get methodical about this.[/quote]

As someone who married a rich guy when I was in my thirties (he was divorced, older than me - less than 10 years, no kids), I agree with this.

Give yourself a makeover.  Hair, clothes, etc.  Not too provocative, but more put together.  Feel good about yourself and think about what you can bring to the table.  Maybe you aren't a gunner with a CEO position, but there are many people who are interested in a nice, normal, stable person who can maintain the homefront.  Start dating and date a lot -- you will have to kiss a lot of frogs, and you are behind.  I think the best place to start is asking friends to set you up on dates.

I also don't blame OP for wanting to find a financially stable partner - everyone is ripping her, but [b]marriage is not only about love, it's about a broader relationship based on what you bring to the table and how you make your life.  Some marriages are the "traditional" type where the man makes the money and the woman takes care of the domestic situation.  I am sure any "rich" man she meets knows what he wants - she isn't going to trick any of them into getting married.[/b] LOL[/quote]

Agree with this but I'm curious, since you say you did this -- does this describe you? Are you a SAHM now while your husband makes the money?

Also, interested if the theory that about family is relevant. Is your family well off? I think this can often be a much bigger factor for rich men than a woman's actual income. I think a lot of wealthy guys are more likely to be interested in a woman with a low salary but a very comfortable family, than a higher earning woman from a family with no money. It's strategic -- someone who comes from some money will (1) probably inherit something, and (2) will not be expected to foot the bill for elder care or other issues.  Even if she doesn't make much, she also isn't introducing long-term costs to the relationship and might even add to your wealth with an inheritance later in life (or stuff like family contributions to college accounts).

I am a decent earning woman but my family struggles and the one guy I dated who had actual money was really put off by it. It was pretty depressing to learn. Your family matters a lot more in this stuff than people like to admit.[/quote]

I'm not a SAHM.  I work and have an advanced degree (same as when I met him), but I don't make a ton of money.  DH is from generational wealth.  My family is blue collar.  Fortunately, I was smart and able to get myself through college and grad school.  It was a hell of a struggle with no family financial support though.  I was lucky to meet DH and we truly love each other and I am happy.  However, if he had been broke, it is unlikely I would have married him because I grew up poor and know what it's like firsthand.  It's very hard on a marriage, hard on kids, etc when you have no money.  Love doesn't cut it.  I didn't want to deal with ever again that if I could avoid it.  I do a lot to keep our family together and am responsible for most things on the homefront and my work, but that's fine with me.  The work I do has value even though society doesn't give women the credit they deserve, so I don't feel guilty about not bringing money to the table.

His family was very open to me; I think because I am educated.  Honestly, they are so well off, it didn't matter to them if my family had any money or not.  I think they only cared if I made DH happy.  That guy you dated & his family were jerks.  IMO, most people who are "rich" are there mostly by luck.  Often it is the opportunities that families pass down via generations that allow people to prosper.  And don't @ me about that.  Of course many work hard, but some start life on third base (even if they don't realize it).[/quote]

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