Embarrassed by college choice?

[Anonymous]

I came from an area much like parts of the dmv and went to a great ivy, and honestly felt undeserving the entire time. Yes I made friends, did well-ish (choosing a very easy major), but I probably would have fit in better at a lessser name school.

[Anonymous]

I am not disappointed at all. My kid is in a school that is a great fit for him and that's what matters.

I got into an Ivy and the #4 ranked LAC at the time and my parents were upset that I chose not to attend the state school that was offering me full-ride tuition, room and board.

[Anonymous]

There is always NVCC with guaranteed admissions to a number of Virginia colleges & universities

People always say that but isn't the "guaranteed admission" program an application based program? I don't think it's open enrollment. So a kid who is failing out of high school is still not going to have that option. It's going to be your kids who would otherwise have gone away to state colleges, and perhaps could not afford it or something like that.

[Anonymous]

As far as my kids college choice, we aren't there yet but it's going to be a rough ride. Kid has learning problems and they were just so foreign to me that I didn't get it under control soon enough. Hopefully it all works out.

[Anonymous]

No. I feel pity for people who care where anyone went to college and base any amount of their self worth on that. There are a lot of you out there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My child is just beginning the college process. Her reach schools are those that dcum would scorn as safeties. But she is autistic with several learning disabilities, and when she started high school I didn't think she would make it to college. So, no, I'm not embarrassed -- I'm thrilled.

I don’t think this is the circumstance that OP was referring to, but good luck to your daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ivy is a lottery. I didn’t win Powerball either. No shame in not winning the lottery.

Also no shame in not buying a ticket and choosing a totally different path. My DC just announced he will not apply to any top 20 schools. We are fine with that. That is not "underachieving" -- he will achieve all he needs to wherever he goes.

actually, save the money from the applications for those 'top' 20 schools and buy some real lottery tickets

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ivy is a lottery. I didn’t win Powerball either. No shame in not winning the lottery.

Also no shame in not buying a ticket and choosing a totally different path. My DC just announced he will not apply to any top 20 schools. We are fine with that. That is not "underachieving" -- he will achieve all he needs to wherever he goes.

Translation: my kid knows he can't get into a top 20.

you seem to be one of the obnoxious know-it-all-ers

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is always NVCC with guaranteed admissions to a number of Virginia colleges & universities

People always say that but isn't the "guaranteed admission" program an application based program? I don't think it's open enrollment. So a kid who is failing out of high school is still not going to have that option. It's going to be your kids who would otherwise have gone away to state colleges, and perhaps could not afford it or something like that.

You have to do well at NVCC to follow that route, but it's a route open even to the kid who's at a private therapeutic school through half of HS and doesn't have the opportunity to take AP and advanced classes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter, who has struggled with ADHD, is going to a middle-of-the-road, small, liberal school that probably a lot of DCUMers would down on. We're thrilled for her and she's doing well so far. She found the place that works for her. Surprisingly, her academic experience has been better than my other daughter's experience who is at UVA (e.g., small classes, tons of one-on-one interaction with professors, freedom to pursue whatever major she wants, etc).

DP. Why is it surprising? Small schools are desperate to attract and keep the customers - aka students - and once they do, they really have small classes, freedom to pursue majors, etc) unlike huge schools that are bursting at seams.

Problems might arise in the future when a graduate starts job hunting. But in terms of learning conditions, being a big fish in a small pond definitely has its advantages!

[Anonymous]

OP, you are hanging with the wrong crowd. You feel embarrassed because of the way people around you are reacting. None of my social circle would do that. We all have smart, capable kids, but we also don't obsess about rankings, and our primarily interested in our kids' happiness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you are hanging with the wrong crowd. You feel embarrassed because of the way people around you are reacting. None of my social circle would do that. We all have smart, capable kids, but we also don't obsess about rankings, and our primarily interested in our kids' happiness.

+1 And, as someone with another kid approaching application time, I love hearing about all the different places my friends' kids are going to college and learning about new places. How boring would it be to have everyone go to the same handful of schools.

[Anonymous]

I think that a good fit is more important than prestige. Your career is what you make of it. Plenty of people build good careers coming from non-elite colleges.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I came from an area much like parts of the dmv and went to a great ivy, and honestly felt undeserving the entire time. Yes I made friends, did well-ish (choosing a very easy major), but I probably would have fit in better at a lessser name school.

And? This has nothing to do with the question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not have been embarrassed, but my husband, who grew up in this horrible place, would have been, so he and his parents pulled every string imaginable to get DD into a school that she never would have gotten into otherwise. She's bright and very hard-.working, but severe ADHD and executive function issues. She really struggled throughout her entire high school career at a big 3. She's been at college for two weeks and seems quite happy, but we'll see what happens when classes ramp up. I am waiting for a major implosion. I would have been much happier to see her at a school with a variety of well-rounded kids and where for once, she could stop feeling like she's the dumbest kid in the room. I grew up in a grounded community, where people knew there were many avenues to happiness and success. People in this area are entirely myopic.

If you're so "grounded," why didn't you put your foot down? And why on earth would a "grounded" parent send a kid with the issues that you described to a Big 3 in the first place?

There sure are major holes in your story.

There are not any major holes in PP’s story. Lighten up, Francis.

Yea, there are. This poster is a milk toast parent who let her husband and his family walk all over her and her daughter.

"I am waiting for a major implosion. I would have been much happier to see her at a school with a variety of well-rounded kids and where for once, she could stop feeling like she's the dumbest kid in the room."

Allowing that to happen, yet claiming to be the "grounded" parent? Sorry, no.

DP. You come across as a very angry person.