Embarrassed by college choice?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not have been embarrassed, but my husband, who grew up in this horrible place, would have been, so he and his parents pulled every string imaginable to get DD into a school that she never would have gotten into otherwise. She's bright and very hard-.working, but severe ADHD and executive function issues. She really struggled throughout her entire high school career at a big 3. She's been at college for two weeks and seems quite happy, but we'll see what happens when classes ramp up. I am waiting for a major implosion. I would have been much happier to see her at a school with a variety of well-rounded kids and where for once, she could stop feeling like she's the dumbest kid in the room. I grew up in a grounded community, where people knew there were many avenues to happiness and success. People in this area are entirely myopic.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, I wouldn’t say embarrassed but sure, I’m disappointed. I’m glad he’s in college and looks like he might make it through to a degree (which is no small feat). I’m disappointed in myself as well for not being more on top of him and his grades and self-discipline.

Has he been assessed for ADHD? Not saying that he has it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OK, I'll bite. I wasn't disappointed in my kids' college choices because they all got into well known schools that DCUM would consider prestigious. Had they not, I would have been disappointed for sure and probably embarrassed. Kids around here have every advantage. To those who are given a lot, a lot should be expected.

I hate pampered, underachieving rich kids.

What does that look like, in your opinion? Going to a lower-ranked school? Not doing chores?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not have been embarrassed, but my husband, who grew up in this horrible place, would have been, so he and his parents pulled every string imaginable to get DD into a school that she never would have gotten into otherwise. She's bright and very hard-.working, but severe ADHD and executive function issues. She really struggled throughout her entire high school career at a big 3. She's been at college for two weeks and seems quite happy, but we'll see what happens when classes ramp up. I am waiting for a major implosion. I would have been much happier to see her at a school with a variety of well-rounded kids and where for once, she could stop feeling like she's the dumbest kid in the room. I grew up in a grounded community, where people knew there were many avenues to happiness and success. People in this area are entirely myopic.

If you're so "grounded," why didn't you put your foot down? And why on earth would a "grounded" parent send a kid with the issues that you described to a Big 3 in the first place?

There sure are major holes in your story.

[Anonymous]

DD is mainly applying to LACs that most people will not be familiar with. No, I will not be embarrassed, no matter which one she ends up at. They all offer good programs for her academic interest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not have been embarrassed, but my husband, who grew up in this horrible place, would have been, so he and his parents pulled every string imaginable to get DD into a school that she never would have gotten into otherwise. She's bright and very hard-.working, but severe ADHD and executive function issues. She really struggled throughout her entire high school career at a big 3. She's been at college for two weeks and seems quite happy, but we'll see what happens when classes ramp up. I am waiting for a major implosion. I would have been much happier to see her at a school with a variety of well-rounded kids and where for once, she could stop feeling like she's the dumbest kid in the room. I grew up in a grounded community, where people knew there were many avenues to happiness and success. People in this area are entirely myopic.

If you're so "grounded," why didn't you put your foot down? And why on earth would a "grounded" parent send a kid with the issues that you described to a Big 3 in the first place?

There sure are major holes in your story.

There are not any major holes in PP’s story. Lighten up, Francis.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not have been embarrassed, but my husband, who grew up in this horrible place, would have been, so he and his parents pulled every string imaginable to get DD into a school that she never would have gotten into otherwise. She's bright and very hard-.working, but severe ADHD and executive function issues. She really struggled throughout her entire high school career at a big 3. She's been at college for two weeks and seems quite happy, but we'll see what happens when classes ramp up. I am waiting for a major implosion. I would have been much happier to see her at a school with a variety of well-rounded kids and where for once, she could stop feeling like she's the dumbest kid in the room. I grew up in a grounded community, where people knew there were many avenues to happiness and success. People in this area are entirely myopic.

If you're so "grounded," why didn't you put your foot down? And why on earth would a "grounded" parent send a kid with the issues that you described to a Big 3 in the first place?

There sure are major holes in your story.

There are not any major holes in PP’s story. Lighten up, Francis.

Yea, there are. This poster is a milk toast parent who let her husband and his family walk all over her and her daughter.

"I am waiting for a major implosion. I would have been much happier to see her at a school with a variety of well-rounded kids and where for once, she could stop feeling like she's the dumbest kid in the room."

Allowing that to happen, yet claiming to be the "grounded" parent? Sorry, no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not have been embarrassed, but my husband, who grew up in this horrible place, would have been, so he and his parents pulled every string imaginable to get DD into a school that she never would have gotten into otherwise. She's bright and very hard-.working, but severe ADHD and executive function issues. She really struggled throughout her entire high school career at a big 3. She's been at college for two weeks and seems quite happy, but we'll see what happens when classes ramp up. I am waiting for a major implosion. I would have been much happier to see her at a school with a variety of well-rounded kids and where for once, she could stop feeling like she's the dumbest kid in the room. I grew up in a grounded community, where people knew there were many avenues to happiness and success. People in this area are entirely myopic.

If you're so "grounded," why didn't you put your foot down? And why on earth would a "grounded" parent send a kid with the issues that you described to a Big 3 in the first place?

There sure are major holes in your story.

There are not any major holes in PP’s story. Lighten up, Francis.

Yea, there are. This poster is a milk toast parent who let her husband and his family walk all over her and her daughter.

"I am waiting for a major implosion. I would have been much happier to see her at a school with a variety of well-rounded kids and where for once, she could stop feeling like she's the dumbest kid in the room."

Allowing that to happen, yet claiming to be the "grounded" parent? Sorry, no.

PP isn’t claiming they are grounded, but that they grew up grounded. And one can be grounded and still be in that situation. Maybe they are abused, or mentally ill. One could be those things and still “grounded.” Why do you care to point out possible holes in their story anyway? You’re the very type of person PP is railing against. Sounds to me like PP touched a nerve…

[Anonymous]

My child is going to a decent school but he could get into one of the top ivys. It was his choice to do something he loves which is not available in the top ivys.
I am not embarrassed but feel sorry for myself.

[Anonymous]

I went to a top ranked school and I think this is nuts. What matters is your kid doing well at the school they're at and finding a good fit for them. If all you're focused in is bragging rights, you're focusing on the wrong things.

In my group from high school, my most successful friend is really talented pediatric surgeon. People bring their kids from across the country to see him. He saves lives. He went to the University of Florida.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. I am not at all. My magnet high achieving kid chose UMBC over UMD. Both schools were pretty identical in what they offered but kid chose UMBC. Had an amazing college experience and amazing education. Best of all, really expanded his horizons and found really amazing friends who are also good people and driven. Thriving in a high paying STEM career.

+!

[Anonymous]

I would not say embarrassed. Maybe slightly disappointed with the choice in the begining. As I thought school was not a good fit.

Turns out I was wrong academically but socially ended up being sucky.

On the other hand, kid is thriving as an adult. Let them chose they are adults. Yes, I know people on this forum think I am paying therefore not adults. But really people it's time to cut the strings and let them fly.

Six kids all different experiences all adults thriving. College placement made no difference, what they learned and figured out themselves was priceless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My child is going to a decent school but he could get into one of the top ivys. It was his choice to do something he loves which is not available in the top ivys.
I am not embarrassed but feel sorry for myself.

Why do you feel sorry for yourself when your son is doing something he loves?

[Anonymous]

One DC got into a mediocre state school with a CS major. After graduation, he got a job making substantially more money than our DC that who graduated from a higher-ranked school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ivy is a lottery. I didn’t win Powerball either. No shame in not winning the lottery.

Also no shame in not buying a ticket and choosing a totally different path. My DC just announced he will not apply to any top 20 schools. We are fine with that. That is not "underachieving" -- he will achieve all he needs to wherever he goes.