FIL licks his fingers and touches everyone’s food

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does he use the phrase "Let me fix you a plate" and then get mad when you won't let him "fix you a plate?"

OP here. He doesn’t even offer. He just stands guard in the kitchen and hovers and takes things and takes up all the space. He just muscles around and ends up making plates/serving, etc. DH completely blocks him from making our kids’ plates. DH gets food for the kids, then the dance starts with the adults. I’m just not having it anymore. I’ll sit down with water and say I’m not eating, then when everyone starts eating, I’ll say, “Oh I think I’ll have some after all” and get my own. Or I’ll get food from my stash.

This is kind of a rhetorical question but I would LOVE to hear his response if you just told him very directly that his insistence on controlling other people's food is really strange and kind of hostile and then ask him to explain why he does it.

This stuff fascinates me to no end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There was a thread years ago about the boomer parents locking their refrigerators and portioning out tiny meals that would not sustain growing grandkids. And they also did like the visitors to go out to get any food. It was super weird.

Someone here decided to bring a huge basket of food for their family so they would not be hungry.

OP—Ignore the nasty comments here. Your fil is weird.

My DH’s family are all finger lickers. It’s gross. I brought it up with DH and lots of offense was taken. I kinda eat my own food now when visiting.

I loved that thread. The best thread.

OMG, it’s me! It’s me you love! I brought the big basket of food that I “won.” Then, I turned it into tradition…”Oh, we enjoyed this so much last time that I decided to get one for this visit, too!” It has kept on going through several visits and vacations, and I will never stop. My ILs have come to not only accept it, but to look forward to it. There is hope, starving DILs and DILs who prefer not to have saliva on their food!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound like you two deserve each other.

+1 nutjobs

Are you in the habit of putting your saliva on food before handing it to others? Interesting.

I make my own food. Why does someone make your food and hand it to you?

I totally understand what OP is describing. My FIL will get bagels or pastries because he’s up at the crack of Dawn. Then he’ll put the cutting board / serving tray / box on his end of the table and sit at the head of the table with his coffee like he’s the king. Then he will dole out pieces of pastry or sliced bagels like he’s carving a freaking Thanksgiving turkey. It’s weird.

Also weird Boomers always taking little bites of everyone’s food and / or saving like 1/4 of a croissant or 3 berries. I have gotten over feeling rude. I bring or plate my own food and protect it now by swatting their hands away and reminding them “I’m an only child Nancy. I don’t share food once it’s on my plate”.

[Anonymous]

Good for you. How gross and disgusting of him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound like you two deserve each other.

+1 nutjobs

Are you in the habit of putting your saliva on food before handing it to others? Interesting.

I make my own food. Why does someone make your food and hand it to you?

OP here. Ask FIL! He parks it in the kitchen for meals, especially breakfast, and literally does not move from his “post” near the toaster. He wants to toast everyone’s bagels, and doesn’t move even when you say you want to do it yourself. During dinners, they insist on everything being on the table, and he wants to pass everything and portion everything. I refuse to let him do this for me, because no way is he controlling my portions or deciding what I will and won’t eat, as he does for others.

Seriously: ask FIL.

aww wow, your FIL sounds awesome (not sarcasm) I find it really sweet, his desire to provide and help. Personal, I am not grosses out one iota from this story - I have no issues sharing drinks with love ones, I am not afraid of saliva.

even in covid times, if i feel safe enough to share a vacation home with a person, I feel safe enough to share germs with them too

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There was a thread years ago about the boomer parents locking their refrigerators and portioning out tiny meals that would not sustain growing grandkids. And they also did like the visitors to go out to get any food. It was super weird.

Someone here decided to bring a huge basket of food for their family so they would not be hungry.

OP—Ignore the nasty comments here. Your fil is weird.

My DH’s family are all finger lickers. It’s gross. I brought it up with DH and lots of offense was taken. I kinda eat my own food now when visiting.

I loved that thread. The best thread.

OMG, it’s me! It’s me you love! I brought the big basket of food that I “won.” Then, I turned it into tradition…”Oh, we enjoyed this so much last time that I decided to get one for this visit, too!” It has kept on going through several visits and vacations, and I will never stop. My ILs have come to not only accept it, but to look forward to it. There is hope, starving DILs and DILs who prefer not to have saliva on their food!

That thread is so awesome. We need to make it a tradition. I love that you slowly wore your IL's down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound like you two deserve each other.

+1 nutjobs

Are you in the habit of putting your saliva on food before handing it to others? Interesting.

I make my own food. Why does someone make your food and hand it to you?

OP here. Ask FIL! He parks it in the kitchen for meals, especially breakfast, and literally does not move from his “post” near the toaster. He wants to toast everyone’s bagels, and doesn’t move even when you say you want to do it yourself. During dinners, they insist on everything being on the table, and he wants to pass everything and portion everything. I refuse to let him do this for me, because no way is he controlling my portions or deciding what I will and won’t eat, as he does for others.

Seriously: ask FIL.

aww wow, your FIL sounds awesome (not sarcasm) I find it really sweet, his desire to provide and help. Personal, I am not grosses out one iota from this story - I have no issues sharing drinks with love ones, I am not afraid of saliva.

even in covid times, if i feel safe enough to share a vacation home with a person, I feel safe enough to share germs with them too

Let me guess...Boomer.

Boomers are obsessed with spreading their saliva.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound like you two deserve each other.

+1 nutjobs

Are you in the habit of putting your saliva on food before handing it to others? Interesting.

I make my own food. Why does someone make your food and hand it to you?

OP here. Ask FIL! He parks it in the kitchen for meals, especially breakfast, and literally does not move from his “post” near the toaster. He wants to toast everyone’s bagels, and doesn’t move even when you say you want to do it yourself. During dinners, they insist on everything being on the table, and he wants to pass everything and portion everything. I refuse to let him do this for me, because no way is he controlling my portions or deciding what I will and won’t eat, as he does for others.

Seriously: ask FIL.

aww wow, your FIL sounds awesome (not sarcasm) I find it really sweet, his desire to provide and help. Personal, I am not grosses out one iota from this story - I have no issues sharing drinks with love ones, I am not afraid of saliva.

even in covid times, if i feel safe enough to share a vacation home with a person, I feel safe enough to share germs with them too

Let me guess...Boomer.

Boomers are obsessed with spreading their saliva.

nope! millennial here

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound like you two deserve each other.

+1 nutjobs

Are you in the habit of putting your saliva on food before handing it to others? Interesting.

I make my own food. Why does someone make your food and hand it to you?

OP here. Ask FIL! He parks it in the kitchen for meals, especially breakfast, and literally does not move from his “post” near the toaster. He wants to toast everyone’s bagels, and doesn’t move even when you say you want to do it yourself. During dinners, they insist on everything being on the table, and he wants to pass everything and portion everything. I refuse to let him do this for me, because no way is he controlling my portions or deciding what I will and won’t eat, as he does for others.

Seriously: ask FIL.

aww wow, your FIL sounds awesome (not sarcasm) I find it really sweet, his desire to provide and help. Personal, I am not grosses out one iota from this story - I have no issues sharing drinks with love ones, I am not afraid of saliva.

even in covid times, if i feel safe enough to share a vacation home with a person, I feel safe enough to share germs with them too

...that's disgusting.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand why the PPs are bashing you for remedying the situation. I thought it was a nice save.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have the same problem with my FIL, interesting. He also likes to toss items in front of people with no words. It might be something he wants you to read or eat or even a gift. It might be candy. And you must eat and exclaim right at that moment. But he likes to walk over and throw the thing down in front of you at the table. Then you are expected to respond immediately in some certain way. It’s very controlling.

My MIL does this with food. She pushes serving dishes at people unprompted/unasked, waiting for you to take it as she holds it in the air. If she's reading a book she likes, she hands it to you for you to check out *right that minute*.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound like you two deserve each other.

+1 nutjobs

Are you in the habit of putting your saliva on food before handing it to others? Interesting.

I make my own food. Why does someone make your food and hand it to you?

OP here. Ask FIL! He parks it in the kitchen for meals, especially breakfast, and literally does not move from his “post” near the toaster. He wants to toast everyone’s bagels, and doesn’t move even when you say you want to do it yourself. During dinners, they insist on everything being on the table, and he wants to pass everything and portion everything. I refuse to let him do this for me, because no way is he controlling my portions or deciding what I will and won’t eat, as he does for others.

Seriously: ask FIL.

aww wow, your FIL sounds awesome (not sarcasm) I find it really sweet, his desire to provide and help. Personal, I am not grosses out one iota from this story - I have no issues sharing drinks with love ones, I am not afraid of saliva.

even in covid times, if i feel safe enough to share a vacation home with a person, I feel safe enough to share germs with them too

Let me guess...Boomer.

Boomers are obsessed with spreading their saliva.

nope! millennial here

Guess weird gross habits skip a generation.

-gen x

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Guess weird gross habits skip a generation.

-gen x

millennial here ... honest question, do you people really never take a sip of your parent's drinks? or share french fries or other finger foods from the same plate? try your parent's dish that they are eating???

it boggles my mind to be so grossed out by a loved one's saliva ... strangers, sure! but a loved one i am sharing living accommodations with ... NBD to me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Guess weird gross habits skip a generation.

-gen x

millennial here ... honest question, do you people really never take a sip of your parent's drinks? or share french fries or other finger foods from the same plate? try your parent's dish that they are eating???

it boggles my mind to be so grossed out by a loved one's saliva ... strangers, sure! but a loved one i am sharing living accommodations with ... NBD to me

or play board games, puzzles, share remotes ... again, i am confused how someone living with a person is so fearful of their germs. Newflash, their germs are already everywhere in your shared abode.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Guess weird gross habits skip a generation.

-gen x

millennial here ... honest question, do you people really never take a sip of your parent's drinks? or share french fries or other finger foods from the same plate? try your parent's dish that they are eating???

it boggles my mind to be so grossed out by a loved one's saliva ... strangers, sure! but a loved one i am sharing living accommodations with ... NBD to me

Share drinks? Never. Share food, yes, but we’re not animals, so we use clean utensils and serving utensils to make that happen. If my plate at arrives with fries and Dad wants don’t, I use my *clean, unused* fork to put some on his plate.

Sharing can be accomplished without being gross.

If I were to slice a bagel for my mom, I’d wash my hands first. Are you following along? Finger licking doesn’t have to be involved when you prepare and share food.