FIL licks his fingers and touches everyone’s food

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound like you two deserve each other.

+1 nutjobs

Are you in the habit of putting your saliva on food before handing it to others? Interesting.

I make my own food. Why does someone make your food and hand it to you?

Why not? It’s love and often just good manners. It’s sad no one likes you enough to make up a plate for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound like you two deserve each other.

+1 nutjobs

Are you in the habit of putting your saliva on food before handing it to others? Interesting.

I make my own food. Why does someone make your food and hand it to you?

Why not? It’s love and often just good manners. It’s sad no one likes you enough to make up a plate for you.

Licking your fingers as you slice bagels is not “love” or “good manners.” Give me a break.

You sound like you have control issues—wanting to monitor and observe and decide who eats what, how much and when. No thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Especially during breakfast, FIL licks fingers as he does things like slices bagels and passes things to other people. I finally have had enough, and won’t participate in his shenanigans anymore. He made much of lording over the table yesterday, because he knows I don’t like it. We’re all on vacation at a cabin together. Well, guess what, FIL? We brought tons of our own, extra food this year. I delighted in keeping some in the back bedroom and coming out with my own breakfast yesterday. He was all, “Where did you get that?” And I just smiled and said, “We brought it. I didn’t feel like a bagel this morning.” Big smile. I will never show up without extra food just for us again—I am relishing his powerlessness.

Or you could just confront him about.

I have. Nothing changes. So I bring my own food and watch him get riled up that I have the audacity to eat an unsanctioned banana.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound like you two deserve each other.

+1 nutjobs

Are you in the habit of putting your saliva on food before handing it to others? Interesting.

I make my own food. Why does someone make your food and hand it to you?

Why not? It’s love and often just good manners. It’s sad no one likes you enough to make up a plate for you.

Licking your fingers as you slice bagels is not “love” or “good manners.” Give me a break.

You sound like you have control issues—wanting to monitor and observe and decide who eats what, how much and when. No thanks.

You sound very weird. My mom always serves us when we visit, because she wants to. She doesn’t lick anything. OP is free to bring her food if the FIL is not hygienic. Why are you being dense and pretending that everyone who serves food is doing something gross?

[Anonymous]

It's kind of awesome that you have a boomer FIL who actually wants to make breakfast--so many complaints here of men who sit around like bumps on a log expecting to be served. Bummer that he ruins it with his unhygienic habits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think Boomers are weird about food. My dad *always* needs to take a bite or lick of other people's food. He does it MORE after I tell him to stop. It's like a compulsion. Drives me insane. I don't let him sit next to my kids anymore when we are eating.

+1. I’m not obvious about it, but I work it so that neither my ILs or my parents are every plating or getting stuff for me and my kids. I just work kitchen magic and help in such a way that it’s not happening. Licking fingers is the tip of the iceberg, unfortunately. Boomers have gross kitchen habits—I’ve seen my aunts, uncles and mom’s friends at work, too.

Wait, is this really a boomer thing? My ILs do the same thing, and I think it's icky, but had no idea it was a generational thing. I'm from another culture that does not do this.

[Anonymous]

You and FIL BOTH have control issues, this is abundantly clear. You are probably alike in other ways so drive each other crazy. But seriously, don't vacation with him or find a way to enjoy yourself that does not involve getting a rise out of an elderly parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think Boomers are weird about food. My dad *always* needs to take a bite or lick of other people's food. He does it MORE after I tell him to stop. It's like a compulsion. Drives me insane. I don't let him sit next to my kids anymore when we are eating.

+1. I’m not obvious about it, but I work it so that neither my ILs or my parents are every plating or getting stuff for me and my kids. I just work kitchen magic and help in such a way that it’s not happening. Licking fingers is the tip of the iceberg, unfortunately. Boomers have gross kitchen habits—I’ve seen my aunts, uncles and mom’s friends at work, too.

Wait, is this really a boomer thing? My ILs do the same thing, and I think it's icky, but had no idea it was a generational thing. I'm from another culture that does not do this.

Actually, I take this back. I am now remembering my parents always do this thing where they spit on their fingers before turning pages or counting money. Yuck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound like you two deserve each other.

+1 nutjobs

Are you in the habit of putting your saliva on food before handing it to others? Interesting.

I make my own food. Why does someone make your food and hand it to you?

Why not? It’s love and often just good manners. It’s sad no one likes you enough to make up a plate for you.

Licking your fingers as you slice bagels is not “love” or “good manners.” Give me a break.

You sound like you have control issues—wanting to monitor and observe and decide who eats what, how much and when. No thanks.

You sound very weird. My mom always serves us when we visit, because she wants to. She doesn’t lick anything. OP is free to bring her food if the FIL is not hygienic. Why are you being dense and pretending that everyone who serves food is doing something gross?

Well then your little anecdote isn’t relevant, now is it? How nice that your mom doesn’t lick her fingers when serving food. Thanks for that fascinating story that has nothing to do with FIL who DOES lick his fingers when he serves food. Congratulations on contributing nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think Boomers are weird about food. My dad *always* needs to take a bite or lick of other people's food. He does it MORE after I tell him to stop. It's like a compulsion. Drives me insane. I don't let him sit next to my kids anymore when we are eating.

+1. I’m not obvious about it, but I work it so that neither my ILs or my parents are every plating or getting stuff for me and my kids. I just work kitchen magic and help in such a way that it’s not happening. Licking fingers is the tip of the iceberg, unfortunately. Boomers have gross kitchen habits—I’ve seen my aunts, uncles and mom’s friends at work, too.

Wait, is this really a boomer thing? My ILs do the same thing, and I think it's icky, but had no idea it was a generational thing. I'm from another culture that does not do this.

Maybe a weird post-war "don't waste food" thing?

My boomer relatives are OBSESSED with food. They monitor and mentally record what everyone eats. And will recount randomly. So so weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think Boomers are weird about food. My dad *always* needs to take a bite or lick of other people's food. He does it MORE after I tell him to stop. It's like a compulsion. Drives me insane. I don't let him sit next to my kids anymore when we are eating.

+1. I’m not obvious about it, but I work it so that neither my ILs or my parents are every plating or getting stuff for me and my kids. I just work kitchen magic and help in such a way that it’s not happening. Licking fingers is the tip of the iceberg, unfortunately. Boomers have gross kitchen habits—I’ve seen my aunts, uncles and mom’s friends at work, too.

Wait, is this really a boomer thing? My ILs do the same thing, and I think it's icky, but had no idea it was a generational thing. I'm from another culture that does not do this.

Maybe a weird post-war "don't waste food" thing?

My boomer relatives are OBSESSED with food. They monitor and mentally record what everyone eats. And will recount randomly. So so weird.

Mine, too. Like, my MIL hovers and talks about what’s on everyone’s plate, as if it is worthy dinner conversation. “Oh, Tim is having seconds of peas and mashed potatoes.” Who effing cares?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Especially during breakfast, FIL licks fingers as he does things like slices bagels and passes things to other people. I finally have had enough, and won’t participate in his shenanigans anymore. He made much of lording over the table yesterday, because he knows I don’t like it. We’re all on vacation at a cabin together. Well, guess what, FIL? We brought tons of our own, extra food this year. I delighted in keeping some in the back bedroom and coming out with my own breakfast yesterday. He was all, “Where did you get that?” And I just smiled and said, “We brought it. I didn’t feel like a bagel this morning.” Big smile. I will never show up without extra food just for us again—I am relishing his powerlessness.

Or you could just confront him about.

I have. Nothing changes. So I bring my own food and watch him get riled up that I have the audacity to eat an unsanctioned banana.

You are amazing, OP. To be a fly on the wall to see your FIL’s face as you’re eating an unsanctioned banana… I would do something similar. My FIL likes to stick his fork or spoon and serve himself from serving dishes, ignoring serving utensils provided for this purpose. I preemptively serve everyone and watch him like a hawk. I won’t eat or allow my kids to eat from the dish if I saw him poke around in there and will make it a point to announce why I don’t want seconds. I’ve done this enough times that he’s gotten better but I still feel tense during meals with my ILs. Thankfully, they don’t happen often.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Especially during breakfast, FIL licks fingers as he does things like slices bagels and passes things to other people. I finally have had enough, and won’t participate in his shenanigans anymore. He made much of lording over the table yesterday, because he knows I don’t like it. We’re all on vacation at a cabin together. Well, guess what, FIL? We brought tons of our own, extra food this year. I delighted in keeping some in the back bedroom and coming out with my own breakfast yesterday. He was all, “Where did you get that?” And I just smiled and said, “We brought it. I didn’t feel like a bagel this morning.” Big smile. I will never show up without extra food just for us again—I am relishing his powerlessness.

Or you could just confront him about.

I have. Nothing changes. So I bring my own food and watch him get riled up that I have the audacity to eat an unsanctioned banana.

Carry on, then!

[Anonymous]

If someone has gross habits then I find ways around it. Don't touch my food with the hands you just licked. I will either fix my own plate, eat separately, or offer to do the serving, or say I'm not hungry just coffee this morning. It has nothing to do with "love" it's just common sense. My parents and in-laws are in their 70s, I end up doing a lot of the serving, getting up and passing things and all the other work anyway. I don't get waited on hand and foot and then complain about it. Sounds lazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If someone has gross habits then I find ways around it. Don't touch my food with the hands you just licked. I will either fix my own plate, eat separately, or offer to do the serving, or say I'm not hungry just coffee this morning. It has nothing to do with "love" it's just common sense. My parents and in-laws are in their 70s, I end up doing a lot of the serving, getting up and passing things and all the other work anyway. I don't get waited on hand and foot and then complain about it. Sounds lazy.

OP here. I, too, don’t get “waited on hand and food”—I bring my own food and work around it. Nothing “lazy” about it.