Husband coming home at night after c section

[Anonymous]

Why do women chose to give birth at a no-nursery hospital? Is it insurance related? And it can't be that they are so amazing and provide specialty care because that's simply not true for a lot of these hospitals mentioned here.

[Anonymous]

I haven't read through this whole threat to see if you said where you are delivering, but if it is Sibley, they are letting a second support person come after the first leaves. So maybe you could have a friend come for a night to help if you are overwhelmed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your bed will have a big, red nurse call button on it. Press if you're distressed. They will come help.

That wasn't my experience (many years ago now). I would press the button and an hour would pass before anyone responded.

+ 1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do women chose to give birth at a no-nursery hospital? Is it insurance related? And it can't be that they are so amazing and provide specialty care because that's simply not true for a lot of these hospitals mentioned here.

Exactly how many choices do you think we have? Most hospitals in this area gave up their nurseries when the “baby-friendly” initiative was all the rage. Usually women pick an ob and deliver where the doctor has privileges. Congrats if it works differently for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Night 2 was way worse for me than night one. First night I was out of my mind on the good pain killers and love hormones plus the baby slept 90% of the time. Second night she was awake, mad about it, and hungry, my milk wasn't in yet, and they had me on regular strength ibuprofen to deal with the C-section, plus you have to get up and walk around a lot. If there's any way to flip it I'd have him come back night two and go home night one.

I don't understand the person who thinks you need more help when you have a catheter in. You need help when it comes out and you have to make your way to the bathroom post-surgery.

How do you get the baby when you’re stuck lying in bed with a catheter and the baby’s in a bassinet somewhere else in the room?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do women chose to give birth at a no-nursery hospital? Is it insurance related? And it can't be that they are so amazing and provide specialty care because that's simply not true for a lot of these hospitals mentioned here.

They’re surprisingly hard to avoid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Night 2 was way worse for me than night one. First night I was out of my mind on the good pain killers and love hormones plus the baby slept 90% of the time. Second night she was awake, mad about it, and hungry, my milk wasn't in yet, and they had me on regular strength ibuprofen to deal with the C-section, plus you have to get up and walk around a lot. If there's any way to flip it I'd have him come back night two and go home night one.

I don't understand the person who thinks you need more help when you have a catheter in. You need help when it comes out and you have to make your way to the bathroom post-surgery.

How do you get the baby when you’re stuck lying in bed with a catheter and the baby’s in a bassinet somewhere else in the room?

NP. This exchange of comments illustrates why getting rid of nurseries is so f'ing cruel to women who've just given birth.

Go ahead, ask me if I'm bitter.

[Anonymous]

OP-Respectfully, are you a woman of color? If you are, I would want someone with me overnight based on the studies showing the culmination of lack of being believed/listened to resulting in worse outcomes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do women chose to give birth at a no-nursery hospital? Is it insurance related? And it can't be that they are so amazing and provide specialty care because that's simply not true for a lot of these hospitals mentioned here.

Exactly how many choices do you think we have? Most hospitals in this area gave up their nurseries when the “baby-friendly” initiative was all the rage. Usually women pick an ob and deliver where the doctor has privileges. Congrats if it works differently for you.

Off the top of my head: INOVA Fairfax and Sibley. How many do you need? If it's priority for you, and insurance etc is not an issue, seems easy enough to identify a hospital with a nursery and go from there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do women chose to give birth at a no-nursery hospital? Is it insurance related? And it can't be that they are so amazing and provide specialty care because that's simply not true for a lot of these hospitals mentioned here.

Exactly how many choices do you think we have? Most hospitals in this area gave up their nurseries when the “baby-friendly” initiative was all the rage. Usually women pick an ob and deliver where the doctor has privileges. Congrats if it works differently for you.

Off the top of my head: INOVA Fairfax and Sibley. How many do you need? If it's priority for you, and insurance etc is not an issue, seems easy enough to identify a hospital with a nursery and go from there.

NP. I didn't have much choice based on my insurance. But also, this depends on staffing levels. I gave birth 2x in August (and am giving birth AGAIN this August) and both times the hospital was too busy and understaffed to have a nursery open. August is the most popular month to give birth and I think there were 45 women there when I gave birth. My induction was cancelled 2x because they didn't have room for me. They were also very judgmental when I asked about a nursery and said that breastfeeding was the best (I breastfed both kids for 2 years so I wasn't opposed).

Instead of a nursery, what I always thought would be unbelievably helpful would be a room with rocking chairs that DH or grandparents could go sit in with baby and rock the baby while mom slept. But baby wasn't allowed out of my sight sadly. I had tons of people willing to help me, I just needed to leave the hospital ASAP so I could get that help. I had traumatic deliveries and hemorrhaging, so all I wanted was sleep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Night 2 was way worse for me than night one. First night I was out of my mind on the good pain killers and love hormones plus the baby slept 90% of the time. Second night she was awake, mad about it, and hungry, my milk wasn't in yet, and they had me on regular strength ibuprofen to deal with the C-section, plus you have to get up and walk around a lot. If there's any way to flip it I'd have him come back night two and go home night one.

I don't understand the person who thinks you need more help when you have a catheter in. You need help when it comes out and you have to make your way to the bathroom post-surgery.

How do you get the baby when you’re stuck lying in bed with a catheter and the baby’s in a bassinet somewhere else in the room?

The bassinet was pushed right up against my bed - I think it was a Halo? This was at GW a couple of years ago. I didn't realize some recovery rooms have bassinets you can't roll up next to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do women chose to give birth at a no-nursery hospital? Is it insurance related? And it can't be that they are so amazing and provide specialty care because that's simply not true for a lot of these hospitals mentioned here.

Exactly how many choices do you think we have? Most hospitals in this area gave up their nurseries when the “baby-friendly” initiative was all the rage. Usually women pick an ob and deliver where the doctor has privileges. Congrats if it works differently for you.

Off the top of my head: INOVA Fairfax and Sibley. How many do you need? If it's priority for you, and insurance etc is not an issue, seems easy enough to identify a hospital with a nursery and go from there.

For me with my first, I had no idea baby-friendly/no nurseries was a thing. It wasn't even on my radar until well into my pregnancy, and I wasn't going to change doctors at that point. Even if I knew sooner, I wouldn't have appreciated what that actually meant for my hospital experience. You don't know what you don't know.

Also, I loved the OBGYN practice I'd gone to for years already. The four women in the practice were just awesome women and doctors that I trusted. Why would I want to give that up?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do women chose to give birth at a no-nursery hospital? Is it insurance related? And it can't be that they are so amazing and provide specialty care because that's simply not true for a lot of these hospitals mentioned here.

Exactly how many choices do you think we have? Most hospitals in this area gave up their nurseries when the “baby-friendly” initiative was all the rage. Usually women pick an ob and deliver where the doctor has privileges. Congrats if it works differently for you.

Off the top of my head: INOVA Fairfax and Sibley. How many do you need? If it's priority for you, and insurance etc is not an issue, seems easy enough to identify a hospital with a nursery and go from there.

Do they both still have the nurseries during covid (as in, you can send your baby there overnight and get your sleep)? Because I had both mine at GBMC and it was lovely but I've heard since covid they've tried to shut down the full scope of their amazing nursery

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG, you'll be fine. There are nurses to take care of you My husband went home after my second c-section because we have a younger child and no family to help. I was fine. In fact, I slept better after my second c-section without him there than I did after my first.

Let him go home and rest, send the baby to the nursery. Tell the nurse to wake you up when the baby is hungry. If you can't send the baby to the nursery, just make sure you hit the call button as soon as the baby gets fussy so that they can come hand you the baby to nurse. It's not hard.

I'd agree with you except OP said there is no newborn nursery at the hospital.

I had 2 c sections and slept SO MUCH BETTER without my loud ass snoring husband on the couch in the room. But, there was a nursery for the baby, and i didn't even have them bring me the baby overnight, i just slept. And did skin to skin/ breastfeeding all day long from 8am-10pm. It was glorious- take percocet, lay in bed watching TV, cuddling my infant with no distractions.

But without a nursery overnight I dunno.

You didn't read the second part of my post -- if there's no nursery, then OP can just call the nurse to help her. I delivered at VHC, the nurses were AMAZING and so kind.

That's true- but the nurse:patient ratio in mother/baby units is high, and even higher overnight. So if you and 3 other moms are all trying to breastfeed/ change your babies at the same time at 3am while simultaneously trying to not rip out your c section staples, you're SOL.

I gave birth in a FULL L&D unit (like I had to wait half a day for my scheduled C because there wasn't space for me) and didn't have this problem.

L&D has a very low patient/nurse ratio. So yeah. In Mother/Baby each nurse truly has like 8 patients.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do women chose to give birth at a no-nursery hospital? Is it insurance related? And it can't be that they are so amazing and provide specialty care because that's simply not true for a lot of these hospitals mentioned here.

Exactly how many choices do you think we have? Most hospitals in this area gave up their nurseries when the “baby-friendly” initiative was all the rage. Usually women pick an ob and deliver where the doctor has privileges. Congrats if it works differently for you.

Off the top of my head: INOVA Fairfax and Sibley. How many do you need? If it's priority for you, and insurance etc is not an issue, seems easy enough to identify a hospital with a nursery and go from there.

Do they both still have the nurseries during covid (as in, you can send your baby there overnight and get your sleep)? Because I had both mine at GBMC and it was lovely but I've heard since covid they've tried to shut down the full scope of their amazing nursery

Gave birth at Sibley a month ago and they had just started allowing for longer stays in the nursery. 3 hours at a time, bringing baby back to your room to feed in between (though I believe they also gave us the option to just leave him there all night and they would feed formula). We sent the baby to the nursery for 2-3 3 hour sessions each night, with them bringing him back to feed and then we'd call when we were ready to send him back.