Husband coming home at night after c section

[Anonymous]

You will be fine. I’m a single mom and didn’t have overnight help. I would have preferred to have help, but I was fine without it. I don’t remember how I got the baby out of the bassinet. I don’t know if I got her myself or if a nurse handed her to me. I just can’t remember, but it worked out.

[Anonymous]

This is PP. I took all the pain meds they offered every time they offered so maybe that’s part of why I don’t remember! Ha ha!

[Anonymous]

DH didn't stay with me at night and I had twins at a hospital without a nursery. We didn't have anyone to watch older DC at night so he came after school drop off and stayed until it was time to pick DC up.

Always nice to have help, but you will be fine solo if necessary.

Congratulations!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can’t believe we as a society allowed them to phase out nurseries. Truly absurd.

I think right now they're closed because of Covid.

But yes, I specifically chose my OB based on the fact that she delivered at a hospital that was NOT "baby-friendly", LOL.

[Anonymous]

I’m a huge wimp but I was fine the night my DH stayed home (night 3, I think). We both wanted him home with our 2 year old, and I really was okay. The nurses helped a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG, you'll be fine. There are nurses to take care of you My husband went home after my second c-section because we have a younger child and no family to help. I was fine. In fact, I slept better after my second c-section without him there than I did after my first.

Let him go home and rest, send the baby to the nursery. Tell the nurse to wake you up when the baby is hungry. If you can't send the baby to the nursery, just make sure you hit the call button as soon as the baby gets fussy so that they can come hand you the baby to nurse. It's not hard.

I'd agree with you except OP said there is no newborn nursery at the hospital.

I had 2 c sections and slept SO MUCH BETTER without my loud ass snoring husband on the couch in the room. But, there was a nursery for the baby, and i didn't even have them bring me the baby overnight, i just slept. And did skin to skin/ breastfeeding all day long from 8am-10pm. It was glorious- take percocet, lay in bed watching TV, cuddling my infant with no distractions.

But without a nursery overnight I dunno.

You didn't read the second part of my post -- if there's no nursery, then OP can just call the nurse to help her. I delivered at VHC, the nurses were AMAZING and so kind.

That's true- but the nurse:patient ratio in mother/baby units is high, and even higher overnight. So if you and 3 other moms are all trying to breastfeed/ change your babies at the same time at 3am while simultaneously trying to not rip out your c section staples, you're SOL.

I gave birth in a FULL L&D unit (like I had to wait half a day for my scheduled C because there wasn't space for me) and didn't have this problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG, you'll be fine. There are nurses to take care of you My husband went home after my second c-section because we have a younger child and no family to help. I was fine. In fact, I slept better after my second c-section without him there than I did after my first.

Let him go home and rest, send the baby to the nursery. Tell the nurse to wake you up when the baby is hungry. If you can't send the baby to the nursery, just make sure you hit the call button as soon as the baby gets fussy so that they can come hand you the baby to nurse. It's not hard.

Can you read? There is no nursery.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG, you'll be fine. There are nurses to take care of you My husband went home after my second c-section because we have a younger child and no family to help. I was fine. In fact, I slept better after my second c-section without him there than I did after my first.

Let him go home and rest, send the baby to the nursery. Tell the nurse to wake you up when the baby is hungry. If you can't send the baby to the nursery, just make sure you hit the call button as soon as the baby gets fussy so that they can come hand you the baby to nurse. It's not hard.

Can you read? There is no nursery.

We've covered this already, PP. Maybe you should've finished the thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t believe we as a society allowed them to phase out nurseries. Truly absurd.

I think right now they're closed because of Covid.

But yes, I specifically chose my OB based on the fact that she delivered at a hospital that was NOT "baby-friendly", LOL.

So did I. But somehow once I showed up they were all like “sorry no nursery”

[Anonymous]

Night 2 was way worse for me than night one. First night I was out of my mind on the good pain killers and love hormones plus the baby slept 90% of the time. Second night she was awake, mad about it, and hungry, my milk wasn't in yet, and they had me on regular strength ibuprofen to deal with the C-section, plus you have to get up and walk around a lot. If there's any way to flip it I'd have him come back night two and go home night one.

I don't understand the person who thinks you need more help when you have a catheter in. You need help when it comes out and you have to make your way to the bathroom post-surgery.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG, you'll be fine. There are nurses to take care of you My husband went home after my second c-section because we have a younger child and no family to help. I was fine. In fact, I slept better after my second c-section without him there than I did after my first.

Let him go home and rest, send the baby to the nursery. Tell the nurse to wake you up when the baby is hungry. If you can't send the baby to the nursery, just make sure you hit the call button as soon as the baby gets fussy so that they can come hand you the baby to nurse. It's not hard.

This. You can manage.

Yes, you can. I had friends ask me to stay, and I couldn't figure out why. I've had 2 c-sections and managed fine with the nurses at night. Op, your husband can go home.

+1

There are nurses to help you.

[Anonymous]

I am so disappointed at the sorry state of our nation’s medical care whereby a new mother recovering from major surgery is even doing the brain calculus about this. As in, the hospital can’t staff another nurse to be responsive to a patient. The mom is a patient too.

[Anonymous]

Maybe I'm just a wimp but I didn't want DH leaving. I wanted him right by my side for the whole adventure. He actually caught an issue when I was in labor (IV was unplugged and pitocin was spilling all over the floor. It had been spilling for hours too. When they hooked me back up, I had this massive contraction and stopped breathing because it was too much pitocin and too strong).

I really wished I could have been discharged after 6 or 8 hours like women in birthing centers or with midwives. The "help" I got at the hospital was really a hindrance. They just wouldn't let me sleep at night. I would just fall asleep and they'd come in complaining about wet diapers and asking if I'd had my colace. I was too sleep deprived to write down all the diapers and breastfeeding on their charts. And the bed that moved all night long too drove me crazy. Whereas at home I had so much more help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am so disappointed at the sorry state of our nation’s medical care whereby a new mother recovering from major surgery is even doing the brain calculus about this. As in, the hospital can’t staff another nurse to be responsive to a patient. The mom is a patient too.

Good luck with that one. After 2 kids it's very clear to me who is the patient (the baby) and who is just used goods. The only thing that was done for me postpartum was checking my blood pressure. No other assistance, help, care or even a physical. And then your next checkup is 6 weeks later. You just get yelled at for not breastfeeding enough and not holding the baby enough (my hands were shaking and I'd just had a 40 hour labor?! plus no sleep for 2 nights).

[Anonymous]

It's not ideal, but I think you will be okay, since this is not your first child. (I think if this were you first child, the surgery + new mom emotions would really be too much to do alone.)

As others said, I think if you have a bassinet that you can wheel right up to your bed, and your hospital bed moves up and down, you should be fine. You'll be able to at least get to the crying baby, and if you need anything else (diaper change, help getting out of bed), you can wait for the nurses to help you.