Confused about all the gender bending

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Girls like attention and claiming to be different in a fundamental way, especially a socially acceptable one for the time period, is a GREAT way to get attention and kudos in your social circles. In the 90s, a WHOLE bunch of girls claimed to be "depressed and suicidal" a la Kurt Cobain and would walk around literally talking all day about how sad and depressed they were. Magically this mostly went away in the 2000s when it was no longer en vogue to act like a crazy suicidal person. Bisexual was all the rage in the 2000s and all the girls were flaunting that they kissed their best female friend or whatever. Now it's parasexual transfluid whatever. I have no doubt that some people are literally gender nonconforming for valid biological or psychological reasons but I guarantee you 95% of these girls are just attention seeking. I have a colleague whose daughter claimed to start living her life as a man when she was 13, changed her name and everything. By 17 she was done with it. "just a phase bro"

+1 For many of these girls, it is just a phase. I don't see any harm in it... just continue to be supportive and loving. As an interesting side note, from my experience as a high school teacher in FCPS (so I've taught about 2200 students over the past 15 years), most of these girls are white. FWIW, our school population is about 30-35% white. This also makes me think it is a trend rather than truly biological or psychological.

Couldn't it also be that gender nonconformity has more of a stigma generally among nonwhites?

For sure! But I see a lot of freshman girls enter high school as LGBTQ+ and then graduate as mostly cis-gendered heterosexual females. And again, I just encourage all parents to be loving and supportive as students explore their sexuality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Girls like attention and claiming to be different in a fundamental way, especially a socially acceptable one for the time period, is a GREAT way to get attention and kudos in your social circles. In the 90s, a WHOLE bunch of girls claimed to be "depressed and suicidal" a la Kurt Cobain and would walk around literally talking all day about how sad and depressed they were. Magically this mostly went away in the 2000s when it was no longer en vogue to act like a crazy suicidal person. Bisexual was all the rage in the 2000s and all the girls were flaunting that they kissed their best female friend or whatever. Now it's parasexual transfluid whatever. I have no doubt that some people are literally gender nonconforming for valid biological or psychological reasons but I guarantee you 95% of these girls are just attention seeking. I have a colleague whose daughter claimed to start living her life as a man when she was 13, changed her name and everything. By 17 she was done with it. "just a phase bro"

+1 For many of these girls, it is just a phase. I don't see any harm in it... just continue to be supportive and loving. As an interesting side note, from my experience as a high school teacher in FCPS (so I've taught about 2200 students over the past 15 years), most of these girls are white. FWIW, our school population is about 30-35% white. This also makes me think it is a trend rather than truly biological or psychological.

Couldn't it also be that gender nonconformity has more of a stigma generally among nonwhites?

For sure! But I see a lot of freshman girls enter high school as LGBTQ+ and then graduate as mostly cis-gendered heterosexual females. And again, I just encourage all parents to be loving and supportive as students explore their sexuality.

+2 I also want to suggest, though, that we see lots of kids enter high school as "jocks" or "goths" or "theater nerds" and graduate as some other identity/presentation entirely. If you give your child room to explore, they will eventually figure out which identity actually fits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Girls like attention and claiming to be different in a fundamental way, especially a socially acceptable one for the time period, is a GREAT way to get attention and kudos in your social circles. In the 90s, a WHOLE bunch of girls claimed to be "depressed and suicidal" a la Kurt Cobain and would walk around literally talking all day about how sad and depressed they were. Magically this mostly went away in the 2000s when it was no longer en vogue to act like a crazy suicidal person. Bisexual was all the rage in the 2000s and all the girls were flaunting that they kissed their best female friend or whatever. Now it's parasexual transfluid whatever. I have no doubt that some people are literally gender nonconforming for valid biological or psychological reasons but I guarantee you 95% of these girls are just attention seeking. I have a colleague whose daughter claimed to start living her life as a man when she was 13, changed her name and everything. By 17 she was done with it. "just a phase bro"

+1 For many of these girls, it is just a phase. I don't see any harm in it... just continue to be supportive and loving. As an interesting side note, from my experience as a high school teacher in FCPS (so I've taught about 2200 students over the past 15 years), most of these girls are white. FWIW, our school population is about 30-35% white. This also makes me think it is a trend rather than truly biological or psychological.

Couldn't it also be that gender nonconformity has more of a stigma generally among nonwhites?

For sure! But I see a lot of freshman girls enter high school as LGBTQ+ and then graduate as mostly cis-gendered heterosexual females. And again, I just encourage all parents to be loving and supportive as students explore their sexuality.

+2 I also want to suggest, though, that we see lots of kids enter high school as "jocks" or "goths" or "theater nerds" and graduate as some other identity/presentation entirely. If you give your child room to explore, they will eventually figure out which identity actually fits.

And so many enter HS cis-gendered but graduate and move on and are LGBTQ+ for the rest of their lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Girls like attention and claiming to be different in a fundamental way, especially a socially acceptable one for the time period, is a GREAT way to get attention and kudos in your social circles. In the 90s, a WHOLE bunch of girls claimed to be "depressed and suicidal" a la Kurt Cobain and would walk around literally talking all day about how sad and depressed they were. Magically this mostly went away in the 2000s when it was no longer en vogue to act like a crazy suicidal person. Bisexual was all the rage in the 2000s and all the girls were flaunting that they kissed their best female friend or whatever. Now it's parasexual transfluid whatever. I have no doubt that some people are literally gender nonconforming for valid biological or psychological reasons but I guarantee you 95% of these girls are just attention seeking. I have a colleague whose daughter claimed to start living her life as a man when she was 13, changed her name and everything. By 17 she was done with it. "just a phase bro"

+1 For many of these girls, it is just a phase. I don't see any harm in it... just continue to be supportive and loving. As an interesting side note, from my experience as a high school teacher in FCPS (so I've taught about 2200 students over the past 15 years), most of these girls are white. FWIW, our school population is about 30-35% white. This also makes me think it is a trend rather than truly biological or psychological.

Couldn't it also be that gender nonconformity has more of a stigma generally among nonwhites?

For sure! But I see a lot of freshman girls enter high school as LGBTQ+ and then graduate as mostly cis-gendered heterosexual females. And again, I just encourage all parents to be loving and supportive as students explore their sexuality.

+2 I also want to suggest, though, that we see lots of kids enter high school as "jocks" or "goths" or "theater nerds" and graduate as some other identity/presentation entirely. If you give your child room to explore, they will eventually figure out which identity actually fits.

And so many enter HS cis-gendered but graduate and move on and are LGBTQ+ for the rest of their lives.

Yes, that does happen as well. But there are certainly fewer of those cases.

[Anonymous]

Newsflash: Teens Rebel and do things their parents don't understand.

More at 11, tune in then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Newsflash: Teens Rebel and do things their parents don't understand.

More at 11, tune in then.

Seriously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Girls like attention and claiming to be different in a fundamental way, especially a socially acceptable one for the time period, is a GREAT way to get attention and kudos in your social circles. In the 90s, a WHOLE bunch of girls claimed to be "depressed and suicidal" a la Kurt Cobain and would walk around literally talking all day about how sad and depressed they were. Magically this mostly went away in the 2000s when it was no longer en vogue to act like a crazy suicidal person. Bisexual was all the rage in the 2000s and all the girls were flaunting that they kissed their best female friend or whatever. Now it's parasexual transfluid whatever. I have no doubt that some people are literally gender nonconforming for valid biological or psychological reasons but I guarantee you 95% of these girls are just attention seeking. I have a colleague whose daughter claimed to start living her life as a man when she was 13, changed her name and everything. By 17 she was done with it. "just a phase bro"

+1 For many of these girls, it is just a phase. I don't see any harm in it... just continue to be supportive and loving. As an interesting side note, from my experience as a high school teacher in FCPS (so I've taught about 2200 students over the past 15 years), most of these girls are white. FWIW, our school population is about 30-35% white. This also makes me think it is a trend rather than truly biological or psychological.

Couldn't it also be that gender nonconformity has more of a stigma generally among nonwhites?

For sure! But I see a lot of freshman girls enter high school as LGBTQ+ and then graduate as mostly cis-gendered heterosexual females. And again, I just encourage all parents to be loving and supportive as students explore their sexuality.

+2 I also want to suggest, though, that we see lots of kids enter high school as "jocks" or "goths" or "theater nerds" and graduate as some other identity/presentation entirely. If you give your child room to explore, they will eventually figure out which identity actually fits.

And so many enter HS cis-gendered but graduate and move on and are LGBTQ+ for the rest of their lives.

Yes, that does happen as well. But there are certainly fewer of those cases.

Actually the opposite... especially in rural areas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Newsflash: Teens Rebel and do things their parents don't understand.

More at 11, tune in then.

Seriously.

Being attracted to someone is not rebellious unless you are a Q or holy roller parent.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, I'd ask my kid to explain it to me. Sounds like it could be an interesting conversation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The answer?

Just let her be and don't worry too much about it. She'll figure it out. Support her when she needs support. Don't stress if she changes course, in any direction. Listen to her when she talks.

That's it.

Disagree. She is a child and needs help and guidance. The last thing I would do is leave her alone to figure this out, under the influence of LGBTQ sites on the internet

Because she might end up too fabulous?

[Anonymous]

What I'm struggling with is what to do about sleepovers now that my tween has come out as pansexual, along with the friends she wants to do the sleepovers with. I wouldn't let her spend the night with a boy if she were straight, so what now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The answer?

Just let her be and don't worry too much about it. She'll figure it out. Support her when she needs support. Don't stress if she changes course, in any direction. Listen to her when she talks.

That's it.

Disagree. She is a child and needs help and guidance. The last thing I would do is leave her alone to figure this out, under the influence of LGBTQ sites on the internet

What kind of guidance do you have in mind? If it’s something along the lines of “this is a phase and you are confused and I’m not going to let you use the internet anymore,” then it would be better to give them no guidance at all. Especially if it isn’t a phase.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What I'm struggling with is what to do about sleepovers now that my tween has come out as pansexual, along with the friends she wants to do the sleepovers with. I wouldn't let her spend the night with a boy if she were straight, so what now?

No more sleepovers. Sleepovers were always super questionable anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What I'm struggling with is what to do about sleepovers now that my tween has come out as pansexual, along with the friends she wants to do the sleepovers with. I wouldn't let her spend the night with a boy if she were straight, so what now?

Oh that is a really good question. I would love to see responses from gender-affirming parents. It seems to me like yeah, no sleepovers, but I’m not sure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Girls like attention and claiming to be different in a fundamental way, especially a socially acceptable one for the time period, is a GREAT way to get attention and kudos in your social circles. In the 90s, a WHOLE bunch of girls claimed to be "depressed and suicidal" a la Kurt Cobain and would walk around literally talking all day about how sad and depressed they were. Magically this mostly went away in the 2000s when it was no longer en vogue to act like a crazy suicidal person. Bisexual was all the rage in the 2000s and all the girls were flaunting that they kissed their best female friend or whatever. Now it's parasexual transfluid whatever. I have no doubt that some people are literally gender nonconforming for valid biological or psychological reasons but I guarantee you 95% of these girls are just attention seeking. I have a colleague whose daughter claimed to start living her life as a man when she was 13, changed her name and everything. By 17 she was done with it. "just a phase bro"

+1 For many of these girls, it is just a phase. I don't see any harm in it... just continue to be supportive and loving. As an interesting side note, from my experience as a high school teacher in FCPS (so I've taught about 2200 students over the past 15 years), most of these girls are white. FWIW, our school population is about 30-35% white. This also makes me think it is a trend rather than truly biological or psychological.

Couldn't it also be that gender nonconformity has more of a stigma generally among nonwhites?

For sure! But I see a lot of freshman girls enter high school as LGBTQ+ and then graduate as mostly cis-gendered heterosexual females. And again, I just encourage all parents to be loving and supportive as students explore their sexuality.

+2 I also want to suggest, though, that we see lots of kids enter high school as "jocks" or "goths" or "theater nerds" and graduate as some other identity/presentation entirely. If you give your child room to explore, they will eventually figure out which identity actually fits.

And so many enter HS cis-gendered but graduate and move on and are LGBTQ+ for the rest of their lives.

Yes, that does happen as well. But there are certainly fewer of those cases.

Are you kidding?!? There are way more students out as queer of some type senior year or first year of college than freshman year of HS.