Confused about all the gender bending

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pan/Omni is about sexual orientation. This generation of kids is in a much safer space to express where on that scale they fall then we were. My 12 year old is a Lesbian and it is no phase. To say that 12 yr olds don't know what they are attracted to is just wrong. I knew well before 12 that I was attracted to males. Why would it be any different for someone attracted to their same gender or any gender?

As for the gendered expectations comments. Yes women have less gendered expectations but don't ignore that they are still very there. Have you read any thread on here about what makes a woman attractive or how to get a guy? And boys have that even worse. We still have a lot of work to do on this front as a society.

Just be open, accepting and listen.

+1. I wonder if people who think it's weird for 12 year olds to know who they're attracted to remember what their childhoods were like? Maybe they were just later developers. I knew I was attracted to women by fifth grade. These aren't unusual times to have developed an idea of who you're in to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pan/Omni is about sexual orientation. This generation of kids is in a much safer space to express where on that scale they fall then we were. My 12 year old is a Lesbian and it is no phase. To say that 12 yr olds don't know what they are attracted to is just wrong. I knew well before 12 that I was attracted to males. Why would it be any different for someone attracted to their same gender or any gender?

As for the gendered expectations comments. Yes women have less gendered expectations but don't ignore that they are still very there. Have you read any thread on here about what makes a woman attractive or how to get a guy? And boys have that even worse. We still have a lot of work to do on this front as a society.

Just be open, accepting and listen.

+1. I wonder if people who think it's weird for 12 year olds to know who they're attracted to remember what their childhoods were like? Maybe they were just later developers. I knew I was attracted to women by fifth grade. These aren't unusual times to have developed an idea of who you're in to.

Knowing you like boys instead of girls or vice versa is not weird. Declaring yourself a pansexual at the age of 12 is. You really don’t see the difference?

[Anonymous]

From what I can tell it’s the cool thing these days.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s great this generation can talk about sexual desire more openly.

As a comparison, my sister in law was always attracted to men and women, but only ever shared with her family that she dated men - even though her family is very liberal and open minded, it felt like a big deal and an unnecessary set for her to “come out” as bi when she mostly dated men.

Fast forward many years and she met a woman and fell in love. She told her family, and of course we were all totally happy for her. It was, however, a bit of a surprise to learn that she’d ALWAYS been attracted to men and women and had had her first sexual experience with a woman in college.

If she were part of this younger generation, maybe she’d have shared at age 12 that she was pansexual or however she’d define it. No big deal. Openly date whomever she likes. No big deal. Get married - maybe to a man, maybe a woman. No big deal.

Sounds like a step in the right direction, towards acceptance, to me!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pan/Omni is about sexual orientation. This generation of kids is in a much safer space to express where on that scale they fall then we were. My 12 year old is a Lesbian and it is no phase. To say that 12 yr olds don't know what they are attracted to is just wrong. I knew well before 12 that I was attracted to males. Why would it be any different for someone attracted to their same gender or any gender?

As for the gendered expectations comments. Yes women have less gendered expectations but don't ignore that they are still very there. Have you read any thread on here about what makes a woman attractive or how to get a guy? And boys have that even worse. We still have a lot of work to do on this front as a society.

Just be open, accepting and listen.

+1. I wonder if people who think it's weird for 12 year olds to know who they're attracted to remember what their childhoods were like? Maybe they were just later developers. I knew I was attracted to women by fifth grade. These aren't unusual times to have developed an idea of who you're in to.

Knowing you like boys instead of girls or vice versa is not weird. Declaring yourself a pansexual at the age of 12 is. You really don’t see the difference?

No I don't see a difference. Pansexuals are attracted to anybody. Dictionary definition: not limited in sexual choice with regard to biological sex, gender, or gender identity. So they like men, women, nonbinaries, transfolks, anybody. Why is that different than being only attracted to men or only attracted to women?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Our generation worked so hard to expand the notion of what it means to be female--you can be strong, ambitious, loud, athletic, aggressive, whatever--and now it seems like kids are putting "female" in this small, weak box and identifying anything outside that stereotype as something other.”

OP here. This! It makes me so sad. Womanhood is so powerful, and I know I have set an empowering example. That is partly why I am confused.

That is not what is happening. You can be a strong woman and I can be a strong Demigirl. How does that diminish “Womanhood”?

Nobody said women are week. Some femakes assigned at birth just don’t fit into your expanded box.

Our generation didn’t have a box. That’s the point. You could be any which way, you were still a woman. “Free to be you and me” and all that.

I don’t know, op. Every generation needs to rebel somehow. I think maybe this one had so few rules that they’re making up things to rebel against. The idea of tweens coming out as “pansexual” kinda boggles my mind though.

The fact that you think our generation "did not have a box" show how incredible off base you are.

Women were not free to fly jets, be football players, be CEO, be president, wear male clothes to prom/weddings/work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pan/Omni is about sexual orientation. This generation of kids is in a much safer space to express where on that scale they fall then we were. My 12 year old is a Lesbian and it is no phase. To say that 12 yr olds don't know what they are attracted to is just wrong. I knew well before 12 that I was attracted to males. Why would it be any different for someone attracted to their same gender or any gender?

As for the gendered expectations comments. Yes women have less gendered expectations but don't ignore that they are still very there. Have you read any thread on here about what makes a woman attractive or how to get a guy? And boys have that even worse. We still have a lot of work to do on this front as a society.

Just be open, accepting and listen.

+1. I wonder if people who think it's weird for 12 year olds to know who they're attracted to remember what their childhoods were like? Maybe they were just later developers. I knew I was attracted to women by fifth grade. These aren't unusual times to have developed an idea of who you're in to.

Knowing you like boys instead of girls or vice versa is not weird. Declaring yourself a pansexual at the age of 12 is. You really don’t see the difference?

Pansexual is just a word to describe who you like, the same as straight or gay. My generation (at least where I was in rural NC) mostly didn't have that vocabulary until later, but the concept is the same. You seem hung up on language, but beyond that there's really no difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pan/Omni is about sexual orientation. This generation of kids is in a much safer space to express where on that scale they fall then we were. My 12 year old is a Lesbian and it is no phase. To say that 12 yr olds don't know what they are attracted to is just wrong. I knew well before 12 that I was attracted to males. Why would it be any different for someone attracted to their same gender or any gender?

As for the gendered expectations comments. Yes women have less gendered expectations but don't ignore that they are still very there. Have you read any thread on here about what makes a woman attractive or how to get a guy? And boys have that even worse. We still have a lot of work to do on this front as a society.

Just be open, accepting and listen.

+1. I wonder if people who think it's weird for 12 year olds to know who they're attracted to remember what their childhoods were like? Maybe they were just later developers. I knew I was attracted to women by fifth grade. These aren't unusual times to have developed an idea of who you're in to.

Knowing you like boys instead of girls or vice versa is not weird. Declaring yourself a pansexual at the age of 12 is. You really don’t see the difference?

What is the big difference. Pansexual just means they are attracted to everybody.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pan/Omni is about sexual orientation. This generation of kids is in a much safer space to express where on that scale they fall then we were. My 12 year old is a Lesbian and it is no phase. To say that 12 yr olds don't know what they are attracted to is just wrong. I knew well before 12 that I was attracted to males. Why would it be any different for someone attracted to their same gender or any gender?

As for the gendered expectations comments. Yes women have less gendered expectations but don't ignore that they are still very there. Have you read any thread on here about what makes a woman attractive or how to get a guy? And boys have that even worse. We still have a lot of work to do on this front as a society.

Just be open, accepting and listen.

+1. I wonder if people who think it's weird for 12 year olds to know who they're attracted to remember what their childhoods were like? Maybe they were just later developers. I knew I was attracted to women by fifth grade. These aren't unusual times to have developed an idea of who you're in to.

I don’t think it’s weird at all for any particular 12 year old to know who they’re attracted to. What I do think is weird is when a group of 6 friends from elementary school, who have all had crushes on boys and followed fairly standard gender norms as far as clothing, hit puberty and seemingly overnight 5 out of 6 of them identify as LGBTQ+ (using labels they saw on Tik Tok or something and have to Google themselves to make sure they know what they mean.) Seriously, if you haven’t spent time around adolescent girls lately, I’m not sure you understand what’s happening on a large scale.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pan/Omni is about sexual orientation. This generation of kids is in a much safer space to express where on that scale they fall then we were. My 12 year old is a Lesbian and it is no phase. To say that 12 yr olds don't know what they are attracted to is just wrong. I knew well before 12 that I was attracted to males. Why would it be any different for someone attracted to their same gender or any gender?

As for the gendered expectations comments. Yes women have less gendered expectations but don't ignore that they are still very there. Have you read any thread on here about what makes a woman attractive or how to get a guy? And boys have that even worse. We still have a lot of work to do on this front as a society.

Just be open, accepting and listen.

+1. I wonder if people who think it's weird for 12 year olds to know who they're attracted to remember what their childhoods were like? Maybe they were just later developers. I knew I was attracted to women by fifth grade. These aren't unusual times to have developed an idea of who you're in to.

I don’t think it’s weird at all for any particular 12 year old to know who they’re attracted to. What I do think is weird is when a group of 6 friends from elementary school, who have all had crushes on boys and followed fairly standard gender norms as far as clothing, hit puberty and seemingly overnight 5 out of 6 of them identify as LGBTQ+ (using labels they saw on Tik Tok or something and have to Google themselves to make sure they know what they mean.) Seriously, if you haven’t spent time around adolescent girls lately, I’m not sure you understand what’s happening on a large scale.

Hitting puberty and discovering your sexual identity! Unheard of!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pan/Omni is about sexual orientation. This generation of kids is in a much safer space to express where on that scale they fall then we were. My 12 year old is a Lesbian and it is no phase. To say that 12 yr olds don't know what they are attracted to is just wrong. I knew well before 12 that I was attracted to males. Why would it be any different for someone attracted to their same gender or any gender?

As for the gendered expectations comments. Yes women have less gendered expectations but don't ignore that they are still very there. Have you read any thread on here about what makes a woman attractive or how to get a guy? And boys have that even worse. We still have a lot of work to do on this front as a society.

Just be open, accepting and listen.

+1. I wonder if people who think it's weird for 12 year olds to know who they're attracted to remember what their childhoods were like? Maybe they were just later developers. I knew I was attracted to women by fifth grade. These aren't unusual times to have developed an idea of who you're in to.

I don’t think it’s weird at all for any particular 12 year old to know who they’re attracted to. What I do think is weird is when a group of 6 friends from elementary school, who have all had crushes on boys and followed fairly standard gender norms as far as clothing, hit puberty and seemingly overnight 5 out of 6 of them identify as LGBTQ+ (using labels they saw on Tik Tok or something and have to Google themselves to make sure they know what they mean.) Seriously, if you haven’t spent time around adolescent girls lately, I’m not sure you understand what’s happening on a large scale.

Hitting puberty and discovering your sexual identity! Unheard of!

Declaring yourself demisexual! And then looking it up to see what it means! How it’s done!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“Our generation worked so hard to expand the notion of what it means to be female--you can be strong, ambitious, loud, athletic, aggressive, whatever--and now it seems like kids are putting "female" in this small, weak box and identifying anything outside that stereotype as something other.”

OP here. This! It makes me so sad. Womanhood is so powerful, and I know I have set an empowering example. That is partly why I am confused.

+1. Don’t stand for this OP. Please have some serious conversations with your DD about where she’s getting this and why it’s so attractive to her now. She needs guidance and moral clarity from her parents. Please do not leave this for her to “figure out” on her own. She’s entered a cesspool and needs help before she is completely sucked in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Our generation worked so hard to expand the notion of what it means to be female--you can be strong, ambitious, loud, athletic, aggressive, whatever--and now it seems like kids are putting "female" in this small, weak box and identifying anything outside that stereotype as something other.”

OP here. This! It makes me so sad. Womanhood is so powerful, and I know I have set an empowering example. That is partly why I am confused.

+1. Don’t stand for this OP. Please have some serious conversations with your DD about where she’s getting this and why it’s so attractive to her now. She needs guidance and moral clarity from her parents. Please do not leave this for her to “figure out” on her own. She’s entered a cesspool and needs help before she is completely sucked in.

Do you have recommendations for conversion therapy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Our generation worked so hard to expand the notion of what it means to be female--you can be strong, ambitious, loud, athletic, aggressive, whatever--and now it seems like kids are putting "female" in this small, weak box and identifying anything outside that stereotype as something other.”

OP here. This! It makes me so sad. Womanhood is so powerful, and I know I have set an empowering example. That is partly why I am confused.

That is not what is happening. You can be a strong woman and I can be a strong Demigirl. How does that diminish “Womanhood”?

Nobody said women are week. Some femakes assigned at birth just don’t fit into your expanded box.

Our generation didn’t have a box. That’s the point. You could be any which way, you were still a woman. “Free to be you and me” and all that.

I don’t know, op. Every generation needs to rebel somehow. I think maybe this one had so few rules that they’re making up things to rebel against. The idea of tweens coming out as “pansexual” kinda boggles my mind though.

P
The fact that you think our generation "did not have a box" show how incredible off base you are.

Women were not free to fly jets, be football players, be CEO, be president, wear male clothes to prom/weddings/work.

I am 48. I’ve owned a tux for many years, it was tailored for me and I wore it to multiple events. I am female. The fact that some people believe that I can’t [insert as needed] does not change my gender. I also don’t color my hair, despite what DCUM says, and have a short haircut with a side fade. Still female.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pan/Omni is about sexual orientation. This generation of kids is in a much safer space to express where on that scale they fall then we were. My 12 year old is a Lesbian and it is no phase. To say that 12 yr olds don't know what they are attracted to is just wrong. I knew well before 12 that I was attracted to males. Why would it be any different for someone attracted to their same gender or any gender?

As for the gendered expectations comments. Yes women have less gendered expectations but don't ignore that they are still very there. Have you read any thread on here about what makes a woman attractive or how to get a guy? And boys have that even worse. We still have a lot of work to do on this front as a society.

Just be open, accepting and listen.

+1. I wonder if people who think it's weird for 12 year olds to know who they're attracted to remember what their childhoods were like? Maybe they were just later developers. I knew I was attracted to women by fifth grade. These aren't unusual times to have developed an idea of who you're in to.

Seriously, I was on the later side to be interested in gender/sex/romance, but I remember 4th graders making out and 7th graders having sex. I was aware of sexism/sexual harassment/double standards, but we basically had to just put up with it and try to protect ourselves the best we could. I was aware of gender and sexuality, but knew it wasn't something I could expect to safely talk about and just kept telling myself my feeling were probably "just a phase" like Ann Landers said. Honestly, I just don't get what people are so worried about. What I see is so much less bullying of kids who aren't "all girl" or "all boy" and a lot of thinking about ideas and identities.