Things women get hung up on that don't actually matter to men

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Flat stomach. Much more interested in great sex.

Absolutely yes on the flat stomach. I'm normal sized (size 6), not real thin, not fat. But I've always been self conscious about my stomach. Because I have a little bit of a belly there. But jesus christ I KNOW in my heart and in my mind that the men I've been with have absolutely love that soft little belly I have. One of them loved to just cup my belly with his hand. Another told me he liked it becuase it was soft and women are "supposed to be soft" ... the obsession with the belly is my own socially constructed issue.

[Anonymous]

I’m delighted that these posts seem to validate me 😆 I’m over educated but underemployed, kind, love kids, reasonably attractive, and devoted to my husband. Yay I guess I win, and I don’t have to worry about painting my nails or losing 10 pounds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find high fashion and luxury brands a turn-off. I have plenty of money to buy those things, they just seem so superficial. Also agree with others, I don't care about jobs and titles per se but it can be an interesting topic of conversation..

Most women love fashion and luxury stuff for their own interest or to share with girl friends, I doubt anyone actually buy those to make her more attractive to the opposite sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most men (high earners in particular) don't care what a woman's job title is, how much she earns, or what she owns. They care that she is attractive and in good physical shape, has a nice, pleasant personality and would make a great mother. Full stop, that's the full list.

That's why professional women are always so confused when the high-status, handsome man they were pursuing goes for the pretty, easy-going barista/daycare worker who loves kids.

This isn't happening. Successful men are more likely to marry successful women. Marriage is becoming a thing for the affluent and elite, people are not crossing socio-economic classes to marry. It's called assortative mating.

Agree. The stats back this up, but it is also what I see anecdotally in the DC area.

It's one of the leading factors in income inequality. There will always be outliers, but in general the UMC and UC are closing their ranks not opening them. The chances are lower than ever for a cute high school educated barista from a MC family to hit it out of the park with a high earning educated man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most men (high earners in particular) don't care what a woman's job title is, how much she earns, or what she owns. They care that she is attractive and in good physical shape, has a nice, pleasant personality and would make a great mother. Full stop, that's the full list.

That's why professional women are always so confused when the high-status, handsome man they were pursuing goes for the pretty, easy-going barista/daycare worker who loves kids.

This isn't happening. Successful men are more likely to marry successful women. Marriage is becoming a thing for the affluent and elite, people are not crossing socio-economic classes to marry. It's called assortative mating.

Agree. The stats back this up, but it is also what I see anecdotally in the DC area.

It's one of the leading factors in income inequality. There will always be outliers, but in general the UMC and UC are closing their ranks not opening them. The chances are lower than ever for a cute high school educated barista from a MC family to hit it out of the park with a high earning educated man.

her best chance is accidentally getting pregnant because the man will still date the cute barista, he just won't marry her

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Flat stomach. Much more interested in great sex.

Absolutely yes on the flat stomach. I'm normal sized (size 6), not real thin, not fat. But I've always been self conscious about my stomach. Because I have a little bit of a belly there. But jesus christ I KNOW in my heart and in my mind that the men I've been with have absolutely love that soft little belly I have. One of them loved to just cup my belly with his hand. Another told me he liked it becuase it was soft and women are "supposed to be soft" ... the obsession with the belly is my own socially constructed issue.

THIS^^^^ is so true! I love a woman with a little belly fat. So soft and cute. I love to kiss it and lay my head on it or just rest my hand on it while we are watching TV.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most men (high earners in particular) don't care what a woman's job title is, how much she earns, or what she owns. They care that she is attractive and in good physical shape, has a nice, pleasant personality and would make a great mother. Full stop, that's the full list.

That's why professional women are always so confused when the high-status, handsome man they were pursuing goes for the pretty, easy-going barista/daycare worker who loves kids.

This is wrong. Well-educated and high earning men marry equally well-educated high-status women. These couples also have lower divorce rates than less well-educated, poorer couples.

[Anonymous]

DW of 24 years here. I’m now 49 and notice more men acknowledging me (smiling, saying hello, staring) when I’m in my running outfit of tights, tank, baseball cap, no makeup then when I’m out and about and more made up/dressed up.

Even DH will tend to compliment me on the flattering fit of my
running tights.

Never gotten more attention that when I went to Lowes post workout. Same at a 5k. I’m not a supermodel and an often described as “cute” or “pretty.”

I love wearing makeup, styling my hair and pay attention to my wardrobe. Maybe I’m more attractive if I’m plainer?

[Anonymous]

perfect, uniform, bright whitened teeth

poreless, flawless, "glass" skin

visible panty lines

and yes to the others who said the last 5 lbs. probably, depending on your height, the last 10 lbs

[Anonymous]

My tummy! I’m all hung up on how not flat it is but my boyfriend thinks it’s fine. I’m 43, he’s 47, I’m slowly conceding to his point of view about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most men (high earners in particular) don't care what a woman's job title is, how much she earns, or what she owns. They care that she is attractive and in good physical shape, has a nice, pleasant personality and would make a great mother. Full stop, that's the full list.

That's why professional women are always so confused when the high-status, handsome man they were pursuing goes for the pretty, easy-going barista/daycare worker who loves kids.

This is wrong. Well-educated and high earning men marry equally well-educated high-status women. These couples also have lower divorce rates than less well-educated, poorer couples.

This.

You need to read this:

https://www.aei.org/articles/belmont-fishtown/

The author makes the point that way back when -- 60s or 70s -- Doctor married nurse, lawyer married secretary. But now, doctor marries doctor and lawyer marries lawyer.


Point above is also correct. Divorce rate is tiny for those with income over $1 million.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find high fashion and luxury brands a turn-off. I have plenty of money to buy those things, they just seem so superficial. Also agree with others, I don't care about jobs and titles per se but it can be an interesting topic of conversation..

Most women love fashion and luxury stuff for their own interest or to share with girl friends, I doubt anyone actually buy those to make her more attractive to the opposite sex.

And most women certainly don’t get jobs and chase titles and high pay to impress a man. I work because my career gives me a lot of satisfaction and also because it enables me to know I can maintain my lifestyle with or without a man.(Before someone tells me I’m going to die alone with cats, I have a perfectly lovely husband and kids.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:According to my DH a lot of the things women think are attractive on other women are not sexy to men - lots of high fashion, trendy makeup/hair, very thin body shape, more angular/harsh features. He's just one man so take it with a grain of salt but according to him and his friends a sexy woman is athletic with some curves/softness, dresses in clothes that are low maintenance but fitted to show off her body, has natural-looking hair and makeup, and is happy/smiling.

Men completely underestimate how much effort it takes to achieve either of these things (except for, maybe, by a handful of genetically blessed people).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most men (high earners in particular) don't care what a woman's job title is, how much she earns, or what she owns. They care that she is attractive and in good physical shape, has a nice, pleasant personality and would make a great mother. Full stop, that's the full list.

That's why professional women are always so confused when the high-status, handsome man they were pursuing goes for the pretty, easy-going barista/daycare worker who loves kids.

This is wrong. Well-educated and high earning men marry equally well-educated high-status women. These couples also have lower divorce rates than less well-educated, poorer couples.

This.

You need to read this:

https://www.aei.org/articles/belmont-fishtown/

The author makes the point that way back when -- 60s or 70s -- Doctor married nurse, lawyer married secretary. But now, doctor marries doctor and lawyer marries lawyer.


Point above is also correct. Divorce rate is tiny for those with income over $1 million.

But you're not telling the whole story. We might not get divorced, but we are not any happier with our spouses than "ordinary" people. We just have more to lose if we get divorced. So our husbands cheat and sometimes we do too. Very cautiously.

The saddest couples I know are two-lawyer, three-kids-in-DC-privates, heavy drinking couples. They are miserable. If the wives stay home, the husbands treat them like garbage because they're so resentful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most men (high earners in particular) don't care what a woman's job title is, how much she earns, or what she owns. They care that she is attractive and in good physical shape, has a nice, pleasant personality and would make a great mother. Full stop, that's the full list.

That's why professional women are always so confused when the high-status, handsome man they were pursuing goes for the pretty, easy-going barista/daycare worker who loves kids.

This isn't happening. Successful men are more likely to marry successful women. Marriage is becoming a thing for the affluent and elite, people are not crossing socio-economic classes to marry. It's called assortative mating.

Okay, how about the low-paid teacher at an elite private elementary school? She comes from an UMC family and presents well, but she is passionate about kids.

Statistically those women, as a group, marry men with similar incomes. I am sure there are exceptions.

What men want and what men marry are two entirely different things. Men are often strategic. The upside to marrying the barista doesn't work strategically. But I guarantee most would rather sleep with the barista than their spouse.