Things women get hung up on that don't actually matter to men

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most men (high earners in particular) don't care what a woman's job title is, how much she earns, or what she owns. They care that she is attractive and in good physical shape, has a nice, pleasant personality and would make a great mother. Full stop, that's the full list.

That's why professional women are always so confused when the high-status, handsome man they were pursuing goes for the pretty, easy-going barista/daycare worker who loves kids.

This isn't happening. Successful men are more likely to marry successful women. Marriage is becoming a thing for the affluent and elite, people are not crossing socio-economic classes to marry. It's called assortative mating.

It is happening, all right, but not in your social circles. Hilaria Baldwin, anyone? Or that barista lady Matt Damon married?

Wealthy men who don't work in traditional industries marry non traditionally. The finance guys, technologists, lawyers, doctors I know marry within their UMC circles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most men (high earners in particular) don't care what a woman's job title is, how much she earns, or what she owns. They care that she is attractive and in good physical shape, has a nice, pleasant personality and would make a great mother. Full stop, that's the full list.

That's why professional women are always so confused when the high-status, handsome man they were pursuing goes for the pretty, easy-going barista/daycare worker who loves kids.

This is wrong. Well-educated and high earning men marry equally well-educated high-status women. These couples also have lower divorce rates than less well-educated, poorer couples.

This.

You need to read this:

https://www.aei.org/articles/belmont-fishtown/

The author makes the point that way back when -- 60s or 70s -- Doctor married nurse, lawyer married secretary. But now, doctor marries doctor and lawyer marries lawyer.


Point above is also correct. Divorce rate is tiny for those with income over $1 million.

But you're not telling the whole story. We might not get divorced, but we are not any happier with our spouses than "ordinary" people. We just have more to lose if we get divorced. So our husbands cheat and sometimes we do too. Very cautiously.

The saddest couples I know are two-lawyer, three-kids-in-DC-privates, heavy drinking couples. They are miserable. If the wives stay home, the husbands treat them like garbage because they're so resentful.

I know a couple like that. The wife resents the husband, because the wife is more successful. Such an effed up dynamic for the kids to grow up in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most men (high earners in particular) don't care what a woman's job title is, how much she earns, or what she owns. They care that she is attractive and in good physical shape, has a nice, pleasant personality and would make a great mother. Full stop, that's the full list.

That's why professional women are always so confused when the high-status, handsome man they were pursuing goes for the pretty, easy-going barista/daycare worker who loves kids.

This is wrong. Well-educated and high earning men marry equally well-educated high-status women. These couples also have lower divorce rates than less well-educated, poorer couples.

This.

You need to read this:

https://www.aei.org/articles/belmont-fishtown/

The author makes the point that way back when -- 60s or 70s -- Doctor married nurse, lawyer married secretary. But now, doctor marries doctor and lawyer marries lawyer.


Point above is also correct. Divorce rate is tiny for those with income over $1 million.

In my 30s and I can tell this one is still somewhat accurate. I know a lot of Drs and while some are married to other Drs, many are married to (former) nurses, teachers, dietitians. If not for the first marriage, than the definitely by the second one!

In some regions nurses make six figure salaries. It’s a legit career.
Barista is not, it’s a temporary gig for the young adventurous but most quickly move on to the next.

Why all the talk about baristas and eating fried chicken and swilling beer? In my circle the successful high income men don't hang out at Starbucks and they don't drink beer or eat fried foods. They are health nuts who drink protein shakes and are weekend warriors. If they are going after someone not their wife its going to be the hot girl at the gym. Not the overly tattooed wanna be artist in between gigs barista making shitty high calorie drinks they would never drink.

Running clubs are affair hot houses. People who are still hot into middle age are usually fitness obsessed and tend to meet others with hot bodies at gyms, fitness classes etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most men (high earners in particular) don't care what a woman's job title is, how much she earns, or what she owns. They care that she is attractive and in good physical shape, has a nice, pleasant personality and would make a great mother. Full stop, that's the full list.

That's why professional women are always so confused when the high-status, handsome man they were pursuing goes for the pretty, easy-going barista/daycare worker who loves kids.

This is wrong. Well-educated and high earning men marry equally well-educated high-status women. These couples also have lower divorce rates than less well-educated, poorer couples.

This.

You need to read this:

https://www.aei.org/articles/belmont-fishtown/

The author makes the point that way back when -- 60s or 70s -- Doctor married nurse, lawyer married secretary. But now, doctor marries doctor and lawyer marries lawyer.


Point above is also correct. Divorce rate is tiny for those with income over $1 million.

In my 30s and I can tell this one is still somewhat accurate. I know a lot of Drs and while some are married to other Drs, many are married to (former) nurses, teachers, dietitians. If not for the first marriage, than the definitely by the second one!

In some regions nurses make six figure salaries. It’s a legit career.
Barista is not, it’s a temporary gig for the young adventurous but most quickly move on to the next.

Why all the talk about baristas and eating fried chicken and swilling beer? In my circle the successful high income men don't hang out at Starbucks and they don't drink beer or eat fried foods. They are health nuts who drink protein shakes and are weekend warriors. If they are going after someone not their wife its going to be the hot girl at the gym. Not the overly tattooed wanna be artist in between gigs barista making shitty high calorie drinks they would never drink.

Running clubs are affair hot houses. People who are still hot into middle age are usually fitness obsessed and tend to meet others with hot bodies at gyms, fitness classes etc.

I know more than one couple who met at Cross Fit. The people describing how and where people meet and what type of women these men are looking for don't seem to know a thing about the people they are talking about. Hint: it's not at the preschool or coffee house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Apologies in advance if some similar thread was created once upon a time but this seems like a common question one might ask.

What are some things that women get hung up about and assume men will care about, when they actually don't give a crap?

So if it doesn't matter to MEN than it shouldn't matter to women?

Wrong!

OP literally did not say anything like that.

By being under this sub-forum, the topic implied that the message is about characteristics that women do to impress the opposite sex that do not matter to the intended target, it's not a generic discussion what are some women's interest that men don't share.

Yes, I understand what the thread is about. And I repeat: Nowhere did the OP say those things shouldn't matter to women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most men (high earners in particular) don't care what a woman's job title is, how much she earns, or what she owns. They care that she is attractive and in good physical shape, has a nice, pleasant personality and would make a great mother. Full stop, that's the full list.

That's why professional women are always so confused when the high-status, handsome man they were pursuing goes for the pretty, easy-going barista/daycare worker who loves kids.

This is wrong. Well-educated and high earning men marry equally well-educated high-status women. These couples also have lower divorce rates than less well-educated, poorer couples.

This.

You need to read this:

https://www.aei.org/articles/belmont-fishtown/

The author makes the point that way back when -- 60s or 70s -- Doctor married nurse, lawyer married secretary. But now, doctor marries doctor and lawyer marries lawyer.


Point above is also correct. Divorce rate is tiny for those with income over $1 million.

Divorce rate for those over $100 billion seems to be 100%. Bezos, Gates, Musk.

[Anonymous]

The personality traits that allow one to acquire $100 billion probably don't mesh well with collaboration and partnership.

[Anonymous]

I noticed several of my kids ES teachers were married to guys who made huge amounts of money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I noticed several of my kids ES teachers were married to guys who made huge amounts of money.

BUT they probably had similar upbringings and similar levels of education in that they both are college+ educated. There’s an income disparity but not really a class disparity. Princess Diana was a preschool teacher. Would be much rarer if the guy who made a ton of money was married to a HS degree cashier at JC Penney.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I noticed several of my kids ES teachers were married to guys who made huge amounts of money.

Really?? I don’t know a single elementary teacher married to a high earner. The couple I know that did marry well dropped teaching as soon as they had kids. All the teachers I know personally would rather the SAHMs but their husbands don’t make enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most men (high earners in particular) don't care what a woman's job title is, how much she earns, or what she owns. They care that she is attractive and in good physical shape, has a nice, pleasant personality and would make a great mother. Full stop, that's the full list.

That's why professional women are always so confused when the high-status, handsome man they were pursuing goes for the pretty, easy-going barista/daycare worker who loves kids.

This is wrong. Well-educated and high earning men marry equally well-educated high-status women. These couples also have lower divorce rates than less well-educated, poorer couples.

This.

You need to read this:

https://www.aei.org/articles/belmont-fishtown/

The author makes the point that way back when -- 60s or 70s -- Doctor married nurse, lawyer married secretary. But now, doctor marries doctor and lawyer marries lawyer.


Point above is also correct. Divorce rate is tiny for those with income over $1 million.

In my 30s and I can tell this one is still somewhat accurate. I know a lot of Drs and while some are married to other Drs, many are married to (former) nurses, teachers, dietitians. If not for the first marriage, than the definitely by the second one!

In some regions nurses make six figure salaries. It’s a legit career.
Barista is not, it’s a temporary gig for the young adventurous but most quickly move on to the next.

Why all the talk about baristas and eating fried chicken and swilling beer? In my circle the successful high income men don't hang out at Starbucks and they don't drink beer or eat fried foods. They are health nuts who drink protein shakes and are weekend warriors. If they are going after someone not their wife its going to be the hot girl at the gym. Not the overly tattooed wanna be artist in between gigs barista making shitty high calorie drinks they would never drink.

Running clubs are affair hot houses. People who are still hot into middle age are usually fitness obsessed and tend to meet others with hot bodies at gyms, fitness classes etc.

This is why my husband and I work out together ...also because we like to. We are often 20–25 years older (at 50) than the average other class participant..but in better shape a lot of the time. Outside of the lifting gym—the classes he is often the only male or just one other. Women still flirt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most men (high earners in particular) don't care what a woman's job title is, how much she earns, or what she owns. They care that she is attractive and in good physical shape, has a nice, pleasant personality and would make a great mother. Full stop, that's the full list.

That's why professional women are always so confused when the high-status, handsome man they were pursuing goes for the pretty, easy-going barista/daycare worker who loves kids.

This is wrong. Well-educated and high earning men marry equally well-educated high-status women. These couples also have lower divorce rates than less well-educated, poorer couples.

This.

You need to read this:

https://www.aei.org/articles/belmont-fishtown/

The author makes the point that way back when -- 60s or 70s -- Doctor married nurse, lawyer married secretary. But now, doctor marries doctor and lawyer marries lawyer.


Point above is also correct. Divorce rate is tiny for those with income over $1 million.

In my 30s and I can tell this one is still somewhat accurate. I know a lot of Drs and while some are married to other Drs, many are married to (former) nurses, teachers, dietitians. If not for the first marriage, than the definitely by the second one!

In some regions nurses make six figure salaries. It’s a legit career.
Barista is not, it’s a temporary gig for the young adventurous but most quickly move on to the next.

Why all the talk about baristas and eating fried chicken and swilling beer? In my circle the successful high income men don't hang out at Starbucks and they don't drink beer or eat fried foods. They are health nuts who drink protein shakes and are weekend warriors. If they are going after someone not their wife its going to be the hot girl at the gym. Not the overly tattooed wanna be artist in between gigs barista making shitty high calorie drinks they would never drink.

Running clubs are affair hot houses. People who are still hot into middle age are usually fitness obsessed and tend to meet others with hot bodies at gyms, fitness classes etc.

This is why my husband and I work out together ...also because we like to. We are often 20–25 years older (at 50) than the average other class participant..but in better shape a lot of the time. Outside of the lifting gym—the classes he is often the only male or just one other. Women still flirt.

I started going to lifting gym at age 28 and for the last decade all of the clients and coach are happy to leave each other along, if one wanted to flirt we would go to a bar not a gym.
🤷🏻‍♀️

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I noticed several of my kids ES teachers were married to guys who made huge amounts of money.

Really?? I don’t know a single elementary teacher married to a high earner. The couple I know that did marry well dropped teaching as soon as they had kids. All the teachers I know personally would rather the SAHMs but their husbands don’t make enough.

I know at least three at DSs school that are married to men who are worth 10s of millions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most men (high earners in particular) don't care what a woman's job title is, how much she earns, or what she owns. They care that she is attractive and in good physical shape, has a nice, pleasant personality and would make a great mother. Full stop, that's the full list.

That's why professional women are always so confused when the high-status, handsome man they were pursuing goes for the pretty, easy-going barista/daycare worker who loves kids.

This is wrong. Well-educated and high earning men marry equally well-educated high-status women. These couples also have lower divorce rates than less well-educated, poorer couples.

This.

You need to read this:

https://www.aei.org/articles/belmont-fishtown/

The author makes the point that way back when -- 60s or 70s -- Doctor married nurse, lawyer married secretary. But now, doctor marries doctor and lawyer marries lawyer.


Point above is also correct. Divorce rate is tiny for those with income over $1 million.

In my 30s and I can tell this one is still somewhat accurate. I know a lot of Drs and while some are married to other Drs, many are married to (former) nurses, teachers, dietitians. If not for the first marriage, than the definitely by the second one!

In some regions nurses make six figure salaries. It’s a legit career.
Barista is not, it’s a temporary gig for the young adventurous but most quickly move on to the next.

Why all the talk about baristas and eating fried chicken and swilling beer? In my circle the successful high income men don't hang out at Starbucks and they don't drink beer or eat fried foods. They are health nuts who drink protein shakes and are weekend warriors. If they are going after someone not their wife its going to be the hot girl at the gym. Not the overly tattooed wanna be artist in between gigs barista making shitty high calorie drinks they would never drink.

Running clubs are affair hot houses. People who are still hot into middle age are usually fitness obsessed and tend to meet others with hot bodies at gyms, fitness classes etc.

I know more than one couple who met at Cross Fit. The people describing how and where people meet and what type of women these men are looking for don't seem to know a thing about the people they are talking about. Hint: it's not at the preschool or coffee house.

Crossfit gyms are hook up central-like the equivalent of Tindr, college parties and bars all rolled into one. But it seemed to be mainly single people doing all the hooking up but I can totally see how a married person can get caught up in the scene there.Especially if only one half f couple crossfits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I noticed several of my kids ES teachers were married to guys who made huge amounts of money.

Really?? I don’t know a single elementary teacher married to a high earner. The couple I know that did marry well dropped teaching as soon as they had kids. All the teachers I know personally would rather the SAHMs but their husbands don’t make enough.

I know several who are married to Big Law partners who keep teaching basically as a hobby job.