Things women get hung up on that don't actually matter to men

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The last five pounds.

This. And I would argue that for heterosexual men, the last mile on virtually all appearance-related matters is irrelevant to them. They don't care about the last 5 pounds. They don't care about the one tooth you have that's a little wonky. They might be able to tell the difference between a no-effort look and 15 minutes of hair and makeup, but they really struggle to tell the difference between 15 minutes versus an hour. The can't tell the difference between expensive and cheap clothes, jewelry, and bags (especially bags! omg they have no idea).

Yes, there are exceptions. Those exceptions are usually very status conscious men who care about this stuff only insofar as they think it makes them look better/richer/more successful if their wife or girlfriend is meeting an extremely high standard. Whenever I meet a straight guy who knows and cares about stuff like balayage and Clare V. bags, he also turns out to be pretty shallow and status conscious as well. It's not that he has great taste, it's that he knows brands and what is expensive and he wants his partner to look expensive because he thinks it reflects well on him.

But most men? Their attraction to you will be based on a general impression that's actually pretty immune to details like slight weight fluctuations, makeup application, clothing brands or trends, etc. My DH has learned to up the compliments when he is aware I put extra effort in because he gets that I'm going to extra effort. But he doesn't actually care. He's more than happy when I just shower and throw on a cute dress and some mascara.

Another thread directed towards men off the rails. Guess what, this doesn’t matter either.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Most men (high earners in particular) don't care what a woman's job title is, how much she earns, or what she owns. They care that she is attractive and in good physical shape, has a nice, pleasant personality and would make a great mother. Full stop, that's the full list.

That's why professional women are always so confused when the high-status, handsome man they were pursuing goes for the pretty, easy-going barista/daycare worker who loves kids.

This isn't happening. Successful men are more likely to marry successful women. Marriage is becoming a thing for the affluent and elite, people are not crossing socio-economic classes to marry. It's called assortative mating.

Call it whatever you want but they’re still sleeping with and leaving their “successful women” partners for the ones who prioritize his needs over their own “success” in career.

Are they? I'm not seeing this in my circle at all. Sounds like wishful thinking hoping a Prince Charming is going to sweep you off our feet ala Richard Gere in Pretty Woman. That's not reality.

I think its happening but not in the way an UC or UMC goes and marries a working class girl.

An UMC educated investment banking professional guy marries an UMC educated high school teacher, or artist or comms girl.

But that's a far cry from the pretty barista, day care worker/nanny scenario PP thinks is happening.

if the barista has a degree from Smith or the daycare worker is figuring out if they want to go to grad school after graduating Colby it could happen. No associate grinding out billable hours is going to marry the high school drop out serving them drinks, but the bartender working nights while finishing a master in fine art is another story

I see this all the time.

The UMC Banking professional always marries a pretty, feminine, artsy woman. She becomes a SAHM, paints, and becomes an insta influencer. Some were working in Law beforehand but always quit.

They also marry: school teachers, PR girls, models, artists and interior designers.

Many of these girls may work for fun at a cute boutique selling clothes or a cute non profit job before marriage.


Only middle class men other women who work 9-5

All those girls are usually from well-off families.

Right? They aren’t just there to prioritize the mans needs and be good mothers. They already tick a lot of the required boxes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I see this all the time.


Only middle class men other women who work 9-5

Middle class couple here, our combined income is on par with a big law associate and his preschool teacher wife. That's why I often see them vacationing in the same four seasons we go to heh.

Hope you are comfortable on your high horse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I see this all the time.


Only middle class men other women who work 9-5

Middle class couple here, our combined income is on par with a big law associate and his preschool teacher wife. That's why I often see them vacationing in the same four seasons we go to heh.

Hope you are comfortable on your high horse.

I’m a biglaw associate and after bonus I made over $350k last year. Either you’re wrong about what I make or you’re not middle class.

[Anonymous]

Christmas cards

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most men (high earners in particular) don't care what a woman's job title is, how much she earns, or what she owns. They care that she is attractive and in good physical shape, has a nice, pleasant personality and would make a great mother. Full stop, that's the full list.

That's why professional women are always so confused when the high-status, handsome man they were pursuing goes for the pretty, easy-going barista/daycare worker who loves kids.

This isn't happening. Successful men are more likely to marry successful women. Marriage is becoming a thing for the affluent and elite, people are not crossing socio-economic classes to marry. It's called assortative mating.

Agree. The stats back this up, but it is also what I see anecdotally in the DC area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most men (high earners in particular) don't care what a woman's job title is, how much she earns, or what she owns. They care that she is attractive and in good physical shape, has a nice, pleasant personality and would make a great mother. Full stop, that's the full list.

That's why professional women are always so confused when the high-status, handsome man they were pursuing goes for the pretty, easy-going barista/daycare worker who loves kids.

This isn't happening. Successful men are more likely to marry successful women. Marriage is becoming a thing for the affluent and elite, people are not crossing socio-economic classes to marry. It's called assortative mating.

It is happening, all right, but not in your social circles. Hilaria Baldwin, anyone? Or that barista lady Matt Damon married?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most men (high earners in particular) don't care what a woman's job title is, how much she earns, or what she owns. They care that she is attractive and in good physical shape, has a nice, pleasant personality and would make a great mother. Full stop, that's the full list.

That's why professional women are always so confused when the high-status, handsome man they were pursuing goes for the pretty, easy-going barista/daycare worker who loves kids.

This isn't happening. Successful men are more likely to marry successful women. Marriage is becoming a thing for the affluent and elite, people are not crossing socio-economic classes to marry. It's called assortative mating.

It is happening, all right, but not in your social circles. Hilaria Baldwin, anyone? Or that barista lady Matt Damon married?

A few exceptions do not make a trend. I don't see this anywhere in my personal life nor do many of the others chiming in here. It is well documented that like marries like, despite what you learned reading tabloids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most men (high earners in particular) don't care what a woman's job title is, how much she earns, or what she owns. They care that she is attractive and in good physical shape, has a nice, pleasant personality and would make a great mother. Full stop, that's the full list.

That's why professional women are always so confused when the high-status, handsome man they were pursuing goes for the pretty, easy-going barista/daycare worker who loves kids.

This isn't happening. Successful men are more likely to marry successful women. Marriage is becoming a thing for the affluent and elite, people are not crossing socio-economic classes to marry. It's called assortative mating.

It is happening, all right, but not in your social circles. Hilaria Baldwin, anyone? Or that barista lady Matt Damon married?

Hillaria came from a wealthy family. Not sure that fits your narrative.

[Anonymous]

I find high fashion and luxury brands a turn-off. I have plenty of money to buy those things, they just seem so superficial. Also agree with others, I don't care about jobs and titles per se but it can be an interesting topic of conversation..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find high fashion and luxury brands a turn-off. I have plenty of money to buy those things, they just seem so superficial. Also agree with others, I don't care about jobs and titles per se but it can be an interesting topic of conversation..

And per the replies, my wife is a stay and home but has a grad degree. We met in school. I agree, a lot of wealthy men marry women who are educationally accomplished but I think that's more a function of the opportunity to meet in school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Holiday cards and family photos.

This and makeup

[Anonymous]

Stretch marks and saggy boobs.

[Anonymous]

I was single a long time and spent lots of time on money on these things my DH told me really don't bother him:
--getting rid of hair on my arms (it doesn't bother him)
--straightening my hair (he likes it wavy or straight)
--dying my eyelashes (doesn't care that they are blonde)
--manicures (says natural is nice too)

[Anonymous]

What her friends think of her. So exhausting to hear her dissect every perceived slight. Just drop the bad friends already!