Things women get hung up on that don't actually matter to men

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most men (high earners in particular) don't care what a woman's job title is, how much she earns, or what she owns. They care that she is attractive and in good physical shape, has a nice, pleasant personality and would make a great mother. Full stop, that's the full list.

That's why professional women are always so confused when the high-status, handsome man they were pursuing goes for the pretty, easy-going barista/daycare worker who loves kids.

Yup. But now you’ve said the quiet part out loud.

[Anonymous]

Holiday cards and family photos.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most men (high earners in particular) don't care what a woman's job title is, how much she earns, or what she owns. They care that she is attractive and in good physical shape, has a nice, pleasant personality and would make a great mother. Full stop, that's the full list.

That's why professional women are always so confused when the high-status, handsome man they were pursuing goes for the pretty, easy-going barista/daycare worker who loves kids.

This isn't happening. Successful men are more likely to marry successful women. Marriage is becoming a thing for the affluent and elite, people are not crossing socio-economic classes to marry. It's called assortative mating.

Call it whatever you want but they’re still sleeping with and leaving their “successful women” partners for the ones who prioritize his needs over their own “success” in career.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most men (high earners in particular) don't care what a woman's job title is, how much she earns, or what she owns. They care that she is attractive and in good physical shape, has a nice, pleasant personality and would make a great mother. Full stop, that's the full list.

That's why professional women are always so confused when the high-status, handsome man they were pursuing goes for the pretty, easy-going barista/daycare worker who loves kids.

This isn't happening. Successful men are more likely to marry successful women. Marriage is becoming a thing for the affluent and elite, people are not crossing socio-economic classes to marry. It's called assortative mating.

Okay, how about the low-paid teacher at an elite private elementary school? She comes from an UMC family and presents well, but she is passionate about kids.

Is that really an exception? Those women often have degrees from good universities and are well educated. They just don't make a ton of money. Same as those who work at non-profits. It's not about the income, necessarily, its the background, education, values, etc.

Ivy League degree/big law position is the new prerequisite bait/real-life mate selection app. Back in the day when people married at 22, it was your summer camp/boarding school/sorority/fraternity that connected the elite to other marriage-worthy elites. Everything is the same, just packaged yo look new.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most men (high earners in particular) don't care what a woman's job title is, how much she earns, or what she owns. They care that she is attractive and in good physical shape, has a nice, pleasant personality and would make a great mother. Full stop, that's the full list.

That's why professional women are always so confused when the high-status, handsome man they were pursuing goes for the pretty, easy-going barista/daycare worker who loves kids.

This isn't happening. Successful men are more likely to marry successful women. Marriage is becoming a thing for the affluent and elite, people are not crossing socio-economic classes to marry. It's called assortative mating.

Call it whatever you want but they’re still sleeping with and leaving their “successful women” partners for the ones who prioritize his needs over their own “success” in career.

Are they? I'm not seeing this in my circle at all. Sounds like wishful thinking hoping a Prince Charming is going to sweep you off our feet ala Richard Gere in Pretty Woman. That's not reality.

[Anonymous]

- home decorating
- expensive dining
- expensive clothes
- very skinny and thin women

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most men (high earners in particular) don't care what a woman's job title is, how much she earns, or what she owns. They care that she is attractive and in good physical shape, has a nice, pleasant personality and would make a great mother. Full stop, that's the full list.

That's why professional women are always so confused when the high-status, handsome man they were pursuing goes for the pretty, easy-going barista/daycare worker who loves kids.

This isn't happening. Successful men are more likely to marry successful women. Marriage is becoming a thing for the affluent and elite, people are not crossing socio-economic classes to marry. It's called assortative mating.

Call it whatever you want but they’re still sleeping with and leaving their “successful women” partners for the ones who prioritize his needs over their own “success” in career.

Are they? I'm not seeing this in my circle at all. Sounds like wishful thinking hoping a Prince Charming is going to sweep you off our feet ala Richard Gere in Pretty Woman. That's not reality.

I think its happening but not in the way an UC or UMC goes and marries a working class girl.

An UMC educated investment banking professional guy marries an UMC educated high school teacher, or artist or comms girl.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most men (high earners in particular) don't care what a woman's job title is, how much she earns, or what she owns. They care that she is attractive and in good physical shape, has a nice, pleasant personality and would make a great mother. Full stop, that's the full list.

That's why professional women are always so confused when the high-status, handsome man they were pursuing goes for the pretty, easy-going barista/daycare worker who loves kids.

This isn't happening. Successful men are more likely to marry successful women. Marriage is becoming a thing for the affluent and elite, people are not crossing socio-economic classes to marry. It's called assortative mating.

Call it whatever you want but they’re still sleeping with and leaving their “successful women” partners for the ones who prioritize his needs over their own “success” in career.

Are they? I'm not seeing this in my circle at all. Sounds like wishful thinking hoping a Prince Charming is going to sweep you off our feet ala Richard Gere in Pretty Woman. That's not reality.

I think its happening but not in the way an UC or UMC goes and marries a working class girl.

An UMC educated investment banking professional guy marries an UMC educated high school teacher, or artist or comms girl.

But that's a far cry from the pretty barista, day care worker/nanny scenario PP thinks is happening.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most men (high earners in particular) don't care what a woman's job title is, how much she earns, or what she owns. They care that she is attractive and in good physical shape, has a nice, pleasant personality and would make a great mother. Full stop, that's the full list.

That's why professional women are always so confused when the high-status, handsome man they were pursuing goes for the pretty, easy-going barista/daycare worker who loves kids.

This isn't happening. Successful men are more likely to marry successful women. Marriage is becoming a thing for the affluent and elite, people are not crossing socio-economic classes to marry. It's called assortative mating.

Okay, how about the low-paid teacher at an elite private elementary school? She comes from an UMC family and presents well, but she is passionate about kids.

Does she have anxiety and/or self-esteem issues? Pick at her skin until it scars? Have other marked issues with social awkwardness?

That's going to matter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most men (high earners in particular) don't care what a woman's job title is, how much she earns, or what she owns. They care that she is attractive and in good physical shape, has a nice, pleasant personality and would make a great mother. Full stop, that's the full list.

That's why professional women are always so confused when the high-status, handsome man they were pursuing goes for the pretty, easy-going barista/daycare worker who loves kids.

This isn't happening. Successful men are more likely to marry successful women. Marriage is becoming a thing for the affluent and elite, people are not crossing socio-economic classes to marry. It's called assortative mating.

Call it whatever you want but they’re still sleeping with and leaving their “successful women” partners for the ones who prioritize his needs over their own “success” in career.

Are they? I'm not seeing this in my circle at all. Sounds like wishful thinking hoping a Prince Charming is going to sweep you off our feet ala Richard Gere in Pretty Woman. That's not reality.

I think its happening but not in the way an UC or UMC goes and marries a working class girl.

An UMC educated investment banking professional guy marries an UMC educated high school teacher, or artist or comms girl.

But that's a far cry from the pretty barista, day care worker/nanny scenario PP thinks is happening.

if the barista has a degree from Smith or the daycare worker is figuring out if they want to go to grad school after graduating Colby it could happen. No associate grinding out billable hours is going to marry the high school drop out serving them drinks, but the bartender working nights while finishing a master in fine art is another story

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most men (high earners in particular) don't care what a woman's job title is, how much she earns, or what she owns. They care that she is attractive and in good physical shape, has a nice, pleasant personality and would make a great mother. Full stop, that's the full list.

That's why professional women are always so confused when the high-status, handsome man they were pursuing goes for the pretty, easy-going barista/daycare worker who loves kids.

This isn't happening. Successful men are more likely to marry successful women. Marriage is becoming a thing for the affluent and elite, people are not crossing socio-economic classes to marry. It's called assortative mating.

Call it whatever you want but they’re still sleeping with and leaving their “successful women” partners for the ones who prioritize his needs over their own “success” in career.

Are they? I'm not seeing this in my circle at all. Sounds like wishful thinking hoping a Prince Charming is going to sweep you off our feet ala Richard Gere in Pretty Woman. That's not reality.

I think its happening but not in the way an UC or UMC goes and marries a working class girl.

An UMC educated investment banking professional guy marries an UMC educated high school teacher, or artist or comms girl.

But that's a far cry from the pretty barista, day care worker/nanny scenario PP thinks is happening.

if the barista has a degree from Smith or the daycare worker is figuring out if they want to go to grad school after graduating Colby it could happen. No associate grinding out billable hours is going to marry the high school drop out serving them drinks, but the bartender working nights while finishing a master in fine art is another story

I see this all the time.

The UMC Banking professional always marries a pretty, feminine, artsy woman. She becomes a SAHM, paints, and becomes an insta influencer. Some were working in Law beforehand but always quit.

They also marry: school teachers, PR girls, models, artists and interior designers.

Many of these girls may work for fun at a cute boutique selling clothes or a cute non profit job before marriage.


Only middle class men other women who work 9-5

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most men (high earners in particular) don't care what a woman's job title is, how much she earns, or what she owns. They care that she is attractive and in good physical shape, has a nice, pleasant personality and would make a great mother. Full stop, that's the full list.

That's why professional women are always so confused when the high-status, handsome man they were pursuing goes for the pretty, easy-going barista/daycare worker who loves kids.

This isn't happening. Successful men are more likely to marry successful women. Marriage is becoming a thing for the affluent and elite, people are not crossing socio-economic classes to marry. It's called assortative mating.

Call it whatever you want but they’re still sleeping with and leaving their “successful women” partners for the ones who prioritize his needs over their own “success” in career.

Are they? I'm not seeing this in my circle at all. Sounds like wishful thinking hoping a Prince Charming is going to sweep you off our feet ala Richard Gere in Pretty Woman. That's not reality.

I think its happening but not in the way an UC or UMC goes and marries a working class girl.

An UMC educated investment banking professional guy marries an UMC educated high school teacher, or artist or comms girl.

But that's a far cry from the pretty barista, day care worker/nanny scenario PP thinks is happening.

+1. They aren't marrying the hottie server at their favorite neighborhood restaurant. They do care if she's educated and from a good family. They don't care whether she broke 6 figures at age 25 and if she made partner at her firm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The last five pounds.

This. And I would argue that for heterosexual men, the last mile on virtually all appearance-related matters is irrelevant to them. They don't care about the last 5 pounds. They don't care about the one tooth you have that's a little wonky. They might be able to tell the difference between a no-effort look and 15 minutes of hair and makeup, but they really struggle to tell the difference between 15 minutes versus an hour. The can't tell the difference between expensive and cheap clothes, jewelry, and bags (especially bags! omg they have no idea).

Yes, there are exceptions. Those exceptions are usually very status conscious men who care about this stuff only insofar as they think it makes them look better/richer/more successful if their wife or girlfriend is meeting an extremely high standard. Whenever I meet a straight guy who knows and cares about stuff like balayage and Clare V. bags, he also turns out to be pretty shallow and status conscious as well. It's not that he has great taste, it's that he knows brands and what is expensive and he wants his partner to look expensive because he thinks it reflects well on him.

But most men? Their attraction to you will be based on a general impression that's actually pretty immune to details like slight weight fluctuations, makeup application, clothing brands or trends, etc. My DH has learned to up the compliments when he is aware I put extra effort in because he gets that I'm going to extra effort. But he doesn't actually care. He's more than happy when I just shower and throw on a cute dress and some mascara.

Absolutely. And I would posit that it's the same for most women about the things men tend to like, such as cars or sports. The details aren't that interesting. It's the overall impression that counts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most men (high earners in particular) don't care what a woman's job title is, how much she earns, or what she owns. They care that she is attractive and in good physical shape, has a nice, pleasant personality and would make a great mother. Full stop, that's the full list.

That's why professional women are always so confused when the high-status, handsome man they were pursuing goes for the pretty, easy-going barista/daycare worker who loves kids.

This isn't happening. Successful men are more likely to marry successful women. Marriage is becoming a thing for the affluent and elite, people are not crossing socio-economic classes to marry. It's called assortative mating.

Call it whatever you want but they’re still sleeping with and leaving their “successful women” partners for the ones who prioritize his needs over their own “success” in career.

Are they? I'm not seeing this in my circle at all. Sounds like wishful thinking hoping a Prince Charming is going to sweep you off our feet ala Richard Gere in Pretty Woman. That's not reality.

I think its happening but not in the way an UC or UMC goes and marries a working class girl.

An UMC educated investment banking professional guy marries an UMC educated high school teacher, or artist or comms girl.

But that's a far cry from the pretty barista, day care worker/nanny scenario PP thinks is happening.

if the barista has a degree from Smith or the daycare worker is figuring out if they want to go to grad school after graduating Colby it could happen. No associate grinding out billable hours is going to marry the high school drop out serving them drinks, but the bartender working nights while finishing a master in fine art is another story

I see this all the time.

The UMC Banking professional always marries a pretty, feminine, artsy woman. She becomes a SAHM, paints, and becomes an insta influencer. Some were working in Law beforehand but always quit.

They also marry: school teachers, PR girls, models, artists and interior designers.

Many of these girls may work for fun at a cute boutique selling clothes or a cute non profit job before marriage.


Only middle class men other women who work 9-5

All those girls are usually from well-off families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most men (high earners in particular) don't care what a woman's job title is, how much she earns, or what she owns. They care that she is attractive and in good physical shape, has a nice, pleasant personality and would make a great mother. Full stop, that's the full list.

That's why professional women are always so confused when the high-status, handsome man they were pursuing goes for the pretty, easy-going barista/daycare worker who loves kids.

This isn't happening. Successful men are more likely to marry successful women. Marriage is becoming a thing for the affluent and elite, people are not crossing socio-economic classes to marry. It's called assortative mating.

Call it whatever you want but they’re still sleeping with and leaving their “successful women” partners for the ones who prioritize his needs over their own “success” in career.

Yeah, but no one is saying how easy that barista or day care will be to control once married. See Molly Corbitt.