Is this fair? Or unnecessarily mean?

[Anonymous]

I would have them both walk, the exception being if it's a really rainy day or something. I can't imagine driving such a short distance.

We live a half mile from the school. The school parking lot/drop off line is such a zoo at the start of the day and dismissal that it's actually quicker just to walk.

[Anonymous]

I would give kid without the injury the choice of walking or getting a ride when driving the other kid, assuming he can wait at the school. 7/10ths of a mile is really short, however, and he should be able to walk even with equipment. Maybe tell him you'll let him sleep in every Friday and will drive him once per week.

[Anonymous]

I have this same situation, but instead of just dropping DS2 off 30 minutes early, I park in front of the school and let him wait in the car for a while until it's closer to his start time. That way I'm still only making one trip, but he doesn't have to stand around outside for 30 minutes.

[Anonymous]

Op think back to your childhood. Were you ever inconvenienced? Did you ever have to deal with the unfun logistics of being part of a family? I bet you did and I know you survived. Your child will too. He can handle it.

[Anonymous]

I agree they should typically walk. On a rare day of torrential rain, I might make two trips. If I were going to drive 1 trip a day, I would alternate the times. Other kids can walk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why does DH dictate/control your ability to drive your kids to school? The kids are only young for so long. There’s no reason to have such stringent authoritarian rules all the time.

+1 DH control freak.

Are you WAH or SAH? Do YOU have the the time AND want to do it. Why start the day off on a bad note for DS?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would drive them both and enjoy the brief one on one with each kid each morning.

+100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have this same situation, but instead of just dropping DS2 off 30 minutes early, I park in front of the school and let him wait in the car for a while until it's closer to his start time. That way I'm still only making one trip, but he doesn't have to stand around outside for 30 minutes.

Oh my! Perfect example of why Americans are unhealthy, fat, and lazy AND destroying the environment! (I bet you leave the engine running half the time too so snookums doesn’t get too hot or too cold...). Great job, Mom!

[Anonymous]

This is a "problem" of the privileged. smh

[Anonymous]

Having a leg injury isn’t fair, either, in terms of a hand dealt by the universe. Until Leg Injury can walk to school, then the Home Bus leaves once, to drop off in time for the first start time. Later Start can either hitch a ride and wait around at school or else get himself to school by walking or biking. Once Leg Injury can walk, then have both of them walk to school. .7 miles is nothing! What is that, like maybe 15 minutes?

I liked the PP who talked about ack no sledging Later Start’s feelings and seeing if there’s something else you can do to make it seem less unfair. But the family should also have a conversation about why the kids think the parents should be spending all that time in the car to shuttle them around.

[Anonymous]

I agree with the second child and I would drive them separately. Otherwise they'll have to sit out in the heat/cold. Or, if you are only willing to drive once, rotate days for each child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have this same situation, but instead of just dropping DS2 off 30 minutes early, I park in front of the school and let him wait in the car for a while until it's closer to his start time. That way I'm still only making one trip, but he doesn't have to stand around outside for 30 minutes.

Oh my! Perfect example of why Americans are unhealthy, fat, and lazy AND destroying the environment! (I bet you leave the engine running half the time too so snookums doesn’t get too hot or too cold...). Great job, Mom!

Oh my! Why would you say that? You have two kids with two different needs who deserves to get equal attention. You drive or walk young kids. You don't just say get out and go to school. A loving parent waits with their child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We live 0.7 miles from kids' school. Easy walking and biking distance, when that works. (One child has had leg injury that prevents biking now, one has to carry lots of sports equipment, rainy days, etc.)

With back to school, they have to be there in the morning at different start times - one at 8:15 and the other at 8:45.

DH is adamant that "we're not going to run a shuttle back and forth to school all morning" - meaning, that we will offer one ride in the morning and that's it. Obviously, car has to leave the house in time for the first start. DC2 is balking at that, saying it is "unfair" to force an early departure to accommodate DC1. DC2 would get to school a half hour earlier than necessary, or can choose to walk or bike.

Is this reasonable? They are both in high school.

Yep, but presumably it works on the other end too. There's one pickup, not two. Whoever is done later comes straight to the car, and the other one can sit and wait.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, reasonable, though I think you should be understanding towards how it inconveniences DC2. His schedule is being dictated by his sibling, and it really might impact him -- a lot of teenagers really need the extra sleep or time to relax in the morning. So I would say "I know this is a bit unfair to you since you're day starts later. But it doesn't make sense for us to spend an hour driving back and forth to school, especially for kids who are mature enough to walk or bike many days. So tell us how we can make this easier for you on those days that you are going to school early and, within reason, we will try to accommodate it."

It could be something as simple as making sure you always have his preferred breakfast item in the house, or he gets the favored seat in the car, or something. But just acknowledging that this is a bit unfair to him and offering to compensate in some way will probably go a long way towards making him feel heard and listened to. Often it seems like kids are throwing a fit over nothing (it's 30 minutes, not a huge deal) but teenagers have a lot of insecurity about their place in the world. Making sure he understands he's valued in your family is really important developmentally. Especially in a case where he probably feels like he is being forced to sacrifice for his sibling (kids need to feel like they are individually seen and appreciated).

I agree with OP’s husband, but they live .7 miles from the school. 10 round trips wouldn’t take an hour.

But it would end up basically killing an hour of time. Remind kid 1 it's almost time to go, wait for them to grab stuff, in the car, drop off, drive back, wait 15 minutes and repeat. I wouldn't want my dh decreeing how I waste my time, but this would be too much of a waste of time for me.

Yup. The time isn't in the driving, it's in the loading the car, navigating the drop off area, etc. The fact that it's such a short drive makes it extra annoying because you are already basically doing them a favor (they are capable of walking except for the leg injury, even if the weather is bad). I would never do this twice in one morning for two kids going to the same school. I'm a parent, not a personal chauffeur.

Nope, no way.

If I'm driving teens, they know when the car leaves. It's their responsibility to be ready and in the car, with anything they need. If they aren't in the car, they can figure out the alternatives for themselves. It's only .7 mile!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have this same situation, but instead of just dropping DS2 off 30 minutes early, I park in front of the school and let him wait in the car for a while until it's closer to his start time. That way I'm still only making one trip, but he doesn't have to stand around outside for 30 minutes.

Oh my! Perfect example of why Americans are unhealthy, fat, and lazy AND destroying the environment! (I bet you leave the engine running half the time too so snookums doesn’t get too hot or too cold...). Great job, Mom!

Oh my! Why would you say that? You have two kids with two different needs who deserves to get equal attention. You drive or walk young kids. You don't just say get out and go to school. A loving parent waits with their child.

Sure. But I'm bringing my laptop, so I can work. The car will be off, because I'm not paying for gas to just sit there. And the kid will do something constructive, not bug me when I'm working.

Yes, same goes for elementary aged children.