What would you say if a relative asked if you're upset not to have daughters?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am still trying to wrap my head around the fact that you live on the same street and she is saying she is not that close to her son. I would be tempted to reply something along the lines of you hope she’s right because she’s you want your kids to grow up to be independent.

+1 How much closer can you get??!

Seriously. Tell her to move to the same block as her daughter then.

[Anonymous]

My brother lives with and takes care of my mother to his own detriment while I pursued my career and moved away. I’m not bragging about this setup because it gives me immense guilt, but in my family the son is 100% the one who is there for my mother and not her daughter. Don’t worry!

[Anonymous]

That is not true. Girls can be just as distant with their grown-up moms as boys.

So, love your sons. Ignore your MIL. And maybe move.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, she's not wrong . . .

I actually wanted boys, so....I'm delighted. The girls and women (myself included) are a lot of work, to put it mildly. I would have been fine if I had a girl, but I am so so so happy to have boys only. And for those who say that boys will abandon the family when they marry....that's ok, too.

I hate when women say this! I am no more "work" than any man!

The women in my family ARE very...difficult people. I say this with love and humility, because I'm a piece of work, too. It must be genetics. Every single one of us is a queen bee and we all sting. I considered not having kids at all, but decided I would take the chance and rise to the occasion if I had a girl. Thankfully, I have boys.

[Anonymous]

I never, ever chatted with my mom about “girl stuff.” I hated talking to her as a adolescent and as an adult I just don’t feel like it.

[Anonymous]

Funny b/c when I was pregnant with DS all my older relatives who had sons told me how lucky I was b/c boys "always love their mothers and will take care of you". I have such a special and close relationship with my DS (he is 15). I do have a DD as well (she is 13) and its is a close and completely different relationship. I think it all comes down to how you raise your boys (and girls for that matter). FWIW I am not close with my mother at all and def not one who will "take care of her" down the road.

[Anonymous]

Women who think like your MIL are ruining their relationships with their kids. Obviously not every daughter is going to want to chat with you and talk about shopping. And of course you can be close to your sons if you cultivate that relationship, which will be hard to do if you write them off at birth. Gender essentialism is exhausting and dumb.

Also, a good way to ensure that you don't have a close relationship with your son is to say rude, passive aggressive sh*t to his wife. That one is a pretty straightforward cause and effect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell her you’re hoping one of your boys will be gay and then it will be just like having a daughter.

This made me literally laugh out loud and I'm totally stealing it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do not engage. You have the perfect excuse to not talk or see your MIL. Let your DH handle any contacts or visits. Win-win

Are you for real? Give me a break.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Girls bring the drama and can also cause untold pain and feuding whereas guys can be totally easy and loving and sweet - Mama's Boy. You know?

I have one girl and three boys, and the boys were a lot more dramatic. Another assumption.

[Anonymous]

“Which of your grandsons did you want me to trade in?”

[Anonymous]

I have a girl and a boy. We are a very close knit family and my kids adore each other. DD is the firstborn and she is like a mother hen to my DS. Wish fulfilling, understanding, loving elder sister and a fierce advocate of him. He worships the ground she walks on and she is his hero.

I think what matters is that you have a loving family. Nothing more than that.

[Anonymous]

Wait, she thinks her son abandoned her, yet she lives on your street? Her priorities are messed up! And if your kids are anything like your husband, they will be there for you in your old age, just like he is there for his mother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“Which of your grandsons did you want me to trade in?”

End of replies. This, here, is all OP needed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean, she's not wrong . . .

I've heard this a lot, too. I believe it. It's also a strong assumption in many many cultures all over the world.