What would you say if a relative asked if you're upset not to have daughters?

[Anonymous]

I would prob just say "man, you are sounding like a real broken record about the boy thing. we might have to get you checked for dementia soon!"

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I mean, she's not wrong . . .

Are you actually serious? What do you mean, omg. That's so mean

Yes. I'm serious. Obviously not 100 percent of the time. But, by and large, daughters are more attentive to their parents as adults than sons. Ever hear the expression "A son is a son until he takes a wife, but a daughter's a daughter for all of her life?" There's truth to it.

I am unclear if the point of your post is to revive a saying from 1956 or to make someone feel bad, but regardless, it's totally weird.

You may think it's weird, but that doesn't make it any less true.

How are you the arbiter of truth? It's just such a rude and old-fashioned saying.

Like a lot of sayings, it didn't come out of nowhere.

Are you the MIL or invested in this for some other reason

LOL. Contrary opinions aren't welcome I suppose. No I'm not the MIL, I just happen to think that there's some truth to what the MIL is saying.

In this case contrary opinions are not helpful (at all) to the OP and are kind of obnoxious. That may be how you feel and you may be correct, but in this case, what is the benefit of saying it in a reply to OP? how could it possibly be helpful to her?

Nobody asked your opinion over whether it's better to have sons or daughters, you seemed to latch on to it weirdly and that's what people are commenting on.

[Anonymous]

Op be truthful with her ie yes I wish I had a daughter to have that experience but I'm happy with my sons or whatever your truth may be.

This is your MILs fear, don't make it yours. She has probably picked up that it's a sore spot for you or it's an issue for her. I don't know why she would keep bringing it up but you could let her know that you don't intend to worry about some future maybe, you would rather enjoy today. If she keeps going I would then tell her that she sounds disappointed in her grandchildren being boys. Then ignore it.

Truth is I know many men who are close to their mothers. If you make it a thing your insecurity will drive a wedge better you and future DILs. So leave this with your MIL. No one has a crystal ball.

[Anonymous]

I have two amazing, wonderful, sweet 20-something girls and I swore I never wanted a boy. Fast forward (past the smelly, loud, constant-eating stage I guess!) and I'm now so sad that I don't! No one loves their momma like a boy. I see my friends and their sons and it is so sweet - even the tough guys are soft when it comes their mom. I so hope I get 2 wonderful sons-in-law because I'll love them like my own!!

(and I hate to shop so that would never be a reason I'd need to have a girl!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell her that with sons you’re looking forward to bring the MIL from hell. Maybe that will make her think...

This is awesome

[Anonymous]

On another board on DCUM are lots of women struggling with infertility. You have CHILDREN! You are very blessed. Do not let anyone tell you differently.

[Anonymous]

Ugh, I hate when relatives say misogynistic BS like that.

I’d probably respond with something like “if my sons abandon me in my old age, that is a reflection of my failure as a parent”

[Anonymous]

When you have healthy children, you count your blessings. I guess your MIL has a DD and you can look forward to grandma moving with her 😊

[Anonymous]

This is so ironic. Her son lives ON HER STREET and that’s why you’re stuck with this b;&-)(. She seems a little dense to this obvious point, so maybe you can point that out and she can move on.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I mean, she's not wrong . . .

Are you actually serious? What do you mean, omg. That's so mean

Yes. I'm serious. Obviously not 100 percent of the time. But, by and large, daughters are more attentive to their parents as adults than sons. Ever hear the expression "A son is a son until he takes a wife, but a daughter's a daughter for all of her life?" There's truth to it.

I am unclear if the point of your post is to revive a saying from 1956 or to make someone feel bad, but regardless, it's totally weird.

You may think it's weird, but that doesn't make it any less true.

How are you the arbiter of truth? It's just such a rude and old-fashioned saying.

Like a lot of sayings, it didn't come out of nowhere.

Are you the MIL or invested in this for some other reason

LOL. Contrary opinions aren't welcome I suppose. No I'm not the MIL, I just happen to think that there's some truth to what the MIL is saying.

In this case contrary opinions are not helpful (at all) to the OP and are kind of obnoxious. That may be how you feel and you may be correct, but in this case, what is the benefit of saying it in a reply to OP? how could it possibly be helpful to her?

Nobody asked your opinion over whether it's better to have sons or daughters, you seemed to latch on to it weirdly and that's what people are commenting on.

This saying is just stupid anyways. There’s nothing inherently different about sons. What IS different is how people parent their sons, especially in the 1960s.

[Anonymous]

Why in hell would you live on the same street as you MIL? That is your problem. Get a backbone too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is so ironic. Her son lives ON HER STREET and that’s why you’re stuck with this b;&-)(. She seems a little dense to this obvious point, so maybe you can point that out and she can move on.

Lol +1. Is living on the same street with her considered abandoning her?

[Anonymous]

There’s a reason the phrases “Daddy’s Girl” and “Mama’s Boy” exist, and that is because you can favor and care for the parent of the opposite gender. You’ll be fine OP.

My mom is much younger than her sisters and was the nightly babysitter of two of her nephews in their early years. They call ME and let me know they stopped by my mothers house and noticed her sink has a drip and would I like them to fix it. On the reverse, I have an uncle who has stood in as my dad after my dad passed when I was 14. He taught me everything I know about home repairs/improvement, helped me build my first car, and taught me some very key and specific industry things for my career today. When he got cancer a few years ago, I went home and worked from the hospital. The secret is building a healthy bond with your kids. Worry about that and less about what a grouchy MIL says.

[Anonymous]

Just tell her you are looking forward to daughter-in-laws and having grand daughters.

[Anonymous]

I’ve gotta know, OP, who loves in your street first? You and DH or MIL? And where do DH’s sisters live?! I’d be like, “Oh, I didn’t realize all boys abandon their mothers. I doubt my sweet boys will but now that I know that is your expectation, your SON and grandsons and I will be moving away.”