In your social circle how much cheating is going on?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I’ve never cheated or been the OW, but not every AP wants to blow up someone else’s life and family. Some are getting all they want. No strings sex with someone they like without the uncertainty or safety risks of Tinder.

Most APs probably DON'T want to blow up their own family or their AP's family, but they are willing to risk it for their own selfish purposes. They know that. That's why they are not good people (and that goes for cheater women and men).

Give me a f@cking break.

When you are caught, and most eventually are over time, you will DESTROY two families. What a bunch of trashy, selfish nonsense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I’ve never cheated or been the OW, but not every AP wants to blow up someone else’s life and family. Some are getting all they want. No strings sex with someone they like without the uncertainty or safety risks of Tinder.

Most APs probably DON'T want to blow up their own family or their AP's family, but they are willing to risk it for their own selfish purposes. They know that. That's why they are not good people (and that goes for cheater women and men).

Give me a f@cking break.

When you are caught, and most eventually are over time, you will DESTROY two families. What a bunch of trashy, selfish nonsense.

That was too the opposite above you. I agree they are not good people because they only care about their own selfish needs no matter the tremendous hurt any fallout will be. Me, me, ME. Trash people, that are nasty too boot because most of us are still screwing our spouses and don’t need Ho germs.

[Anonymous]

*poster

[Anonymous]

I've had an AP for 7 years and no one in my life knows. Friends and family would never guess it.

I pick up on a few cues among the guys in my friend group -- sudden interest in working out and dressing well, another who's doing too much texting in the corner at a party. I have no proof but it wouldn't surprise me. Their wives are completely 100% oblivious and would swear up and down on a forum like this that they don't know anyone who cheats.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

No. You cannot be a good person if you serially cheat with married people.

+1. You are not a good person if you knowingly are willing to blow up someone else's life and family. Good people don't take actions that would hurt other people.

I’ve never cheated or been the OW, but not every AP wants to blow up someone else’s life and family. Some are getting all they want. No strings sex with someone they like without the uncertainty or safety risks of Tinder.

An Ashley Madison whore (and one that’s been on there multiple times) is not “safe”. And who knows who her husband is f@cling. He could be gay or on Tinder himself. If you are married and you cheat you are a nasty disgusting immoral tramp.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've had an AP for 7 years and no one in my life knows. Friends and family would never guess it.

I pick up on a few cues among the guys in my friend group -- sudden interest in working out and dressing well, another who's doing too much texting in the corner at a party. I have no proof but it wouldn't surprise me. Their wives are completely 100% oblivious and would swear up and down on a forum like this that they don't know anyone who cheats.

Wow. Congrats. You win “deceitful whore of the decade”. Well done!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've had an AP for 7 years and no one in my life knows. Friends and family would never guess it.

I pick up on a few cues among the guys in my friend group -- sudden interest in working out and dressing well, another who's doing too much texting in the corner at a party. I have no proof but it wouldn't surprise me. Their wives are completely 100% oblivious and would swear up and down on a forum like this that they don't know anyone who cheats.

Until they do...you cannot imagine the firestorm when your spouse, kids, family and your AP’s spouse finds out.

And they will. Trust me.

[Anonymous]

How would I know who was cheating? I assume some of them are or have done or will in the future. And I also assume some aren't and never have and never will. I don't much care unless they need somebody to talk with or confide in.

I think it happens way more than anybody knows. I'm not going to worry about it. Just minding my own business right now. I'm not really into other people's business as a sport.

[Anonymous]

Some of you seriously need therapy. Don’t let your cheating husband or ex ruin your life and make you so damn bitter.

[Anonymous]

None. I'm divorced and most of my friends have divorced within the past 5 years. Everybody is single, free and living their best damn lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:None. I'm divorced and most of my friends have divorced within the past 5 years. Everybody is single, free and living their best damn lives.

Oh, and we all divorced cheaters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had never heard of any cheating until I married my DH.

His uncles had cheated on their wives. His best friend actively cheats on his wife. One of his bosses cheats on his wife.

My husband cheated as well.

In my family, more than I’d admit. I think my cousin is now in an open marriage after her DH cheated and had two kids outside of wedlock and then she cheated when she found out. Maybe 1/4 of my cousins.

In my friend group, not many. Much more, physical abuse and financial control. Most affairs I know of ended with divorce. The abused wives are the ones staying. Maybe three female friends were the OW at some point. One is a serial OW, but otherwise a really lovely person.

A serial OW is otherwise a really lovely person? This blows my mind.

NP. Life is not black and white. You can be a good person and still sleep with married people. I've never cheated, but I recognize that life is complicated and messy.

No. You cannot be a good person if you serially cheat with married people.

I didn’t say serially.

Wait until you see your adult kid have the fall out of an affair. Good people make bad choices, even people you love and respect. Life is long and complicated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had never heard of any cheating until I married my DH.

His uncles had cheated on their wives. His best friend actively cheats on his wife. One of his bosses cheats on his wife.

My husband cheated as well.

In my family, more than I’d admit. I think my cousin is now in an open marriage after her DH cheated and had two kids outside of wedlock and then she cheated when she found out. Maybe 1/4 of my cousins.

In my friend group, not many. Much more, physical abuse and financial control. Most affairs I know of ended with divorce. The abused wives are the ones staying. Maybe three female friends were the OW at some point. One is a serial OW, but otherwise a really lovely person.

A serial OW is otherwise a really lovely person? This blows my mind.

NP. Life is not black and white. You can be a good person and still sleep with married people. I've never cheated, but I recognize that life is complicated and messy.

No. You cannot be a good person if you serially cheat with married people.

I didn’t say serially.

Wait until you see your adult kid have the fall out of an affair. Good people make bad choices, even people you love and respect. Life is long and complicated.

Well, we aren’t cheaters and they have healthy role models. No divorces ever in the family line.

When a parent is a cheater, the kid is 65-75% likely to cheat themselves. Upbringing and moral character is passed on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:None. I'm divorced and most of my friends have divorced within the past 5 years. Everybody is single, free and living their best damn lives.

Oh, and we all divorced cheaters.

That’s statistically very high—all of your friends?

I’m 50 and none of my HS or college friends have divorced. No idea if anyone’s been cheated on. If they have, they’ve kept it private.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:None. I'm divorced and most of my friends have divorced within the past 5 years. Everybody is single, free and living their best damn lives.

Oh, and we all divorced cheaters.

That’s statistically very high—all of your friends?

I’m 50 and none of my HS or college friends have divorced. No idea if anyone’s been cheated on. If they have, they’ve kept it private.

It’s less common the more educated and higher SES of couples.