In your social circle how much cheating is going on?

[Anonymous]

I had never heard of any cheating until I married my DH.

His uncles had cheated on their wives. His best friend actively cheats on his wife. One of his bosses cheats on his wife.

My husband cheated as well.

[Anonymous]

No one in our immediate family or friend group.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No one in our immediate family or friend group.

LOL you have no earthly idea

-- a cheater

[Anonymous]

I would hope I’m not friends with anyone dumb enough to broadcast their infidelity.

[Anonymous]

Well you picked a winner, OP. I am sure I know people who have cheated but I do not have any friends or family members who I know have cheated or been cheated on. I had friends in HS and college who cheated/were cheated on, but not since then that I know of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would hope I’m not friends with anyone dumb enough to broadcast their infidelity.

I don’t think that’s how you find out...

OP I don’t know of anybody. Honestly I didn’t know it happened frequently until i read posts about it on this forum. I still have a hard time wrapping my head around it happening and especially the way people justify it.

[Anonymous]

How would you know? Honestly, if you found out, how? I suppose some people tell friends when they split that it was due to ex's infidelity, but other than that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would hope I’m not friends with anyone dumb enough to broadcast their infidelity.

I don’t think that’s how you find out...

OP I don’t know of anybody. Honestly I didn’t know it happened frequently until i read posts about it on this forum. I still have a hard time wrapping my head around it happening and especially the way people justify it.

OP here.

I did not know about the history of infidelity in his extended family until I was engaged to him.

His best friend started cheating on his wife after we got married.

[Anonymous]

Lots of my friends have girlfriends. All of them have uninterested wives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How would you know? Honestly, if you found out, how? I suppose some people tell friends when they split that it was due to ex's infidelity, but other than that?

I found out my husbands grandfather cheated on his grandmother because my mother in law told me. Sometimes it just comes up in conversation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How would you know? Honestly, if you found out, how? I suppose some people tell friends when they split that it was due to ex's infidelity, but other than that?

OP here.

I found out about his Uncle's infidelity because I asked why he is divorced 3 times.
Husnand told me his friend confessed to him that he was cheating
Husband told me he was surprised his boss is a cheater

[Anonymous]

I used to be in a social circle where there was a ton of cheating and relationship drama. Several open relationships (which inevitably led to jealous and drama, by the way -- it is not the "free love" situation people try to convince you it is) plus some really alarmingly awful behavior between people who were exes.

My DH and I collectively made the decision to remove ourselves from that group. The drama was tiresome, but we also just wanted to be around people who shared our values and attitudes about marriage. We had previously taken a more "live and let live" attitude because we're very liberal and think the way people organize their relationships is their business. We still believe that to a great extent (certainly I don't care what consenting adults do with one another). But I now see how certain behaviors -- cheating for sure, but also just a level of casualness about long-term and live-in relationships -- impact the entire community. Sex is one thing, but if one of your friends is regularly disrespecting their partner, who is also your friend, it becomes untenable.

So now, I would say none. There might be shenanigans going on, but I would be surprised and saddened to hear it, which is how it should be. In our old social circle, people would have viewed something like that as just juicy gossip. Depressing.

[Anonymous]

I am a SAHM now, and I don't know of any cheaters in my circle, but there could very well be some I guess, I just never thought about it. Nobody talks about it.

I worked for 14 years before becoming a SAHM and, OMG, it seems like every married guy at work was cheating, or trying to cheat. There was one guy who was engaged, sleeping with a married woman at work (they were not secretive about it) and still he would hit on other women. People would go out drinking, and things would happen. Or, sometimes, just close relationships formed by working closely on projects together. I'm amazed that I trust any man.

[Anonymous]

There were quite a few divorces due to infidelity among my friends in the first few years they were married (late 20s, early 30s). All of them are now on their second marriages and seem very happily married. In most of these cases, it was the wife who cheated.

[Anonymous]

Two. Both women. One is still married ‘for the kids’ and, IME, cheated as a bit of retaliation against her cheating husband. The other, now divorced, was in a sexless marriage.