S/O input from women/moms 50+

[Anonymous]

OP, if you truly believe the kid is in grave danger, call police or CPS. Or, walk up to a store manager and say “someone is using a cart improperly, i believe you are about to have a bleeding child with broken bones in isle 4.
Do not personally go after the mother. It’s wrong and rude. I am glad you got direct pushback. Many times a mother is subjected to this just ignores or says something neutral to be polite, which emboldens busy advice generators like you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:34 yo here- I would have said to the boy "you better sit down or you're going to fall." I don't mind people speaking up to my kids. Some women go too far though with preaching to you though. A woman got in a nasty debate on my facebook moms group recently about prenatal vitamins. She says moms who took gummy don't care enough about their babies. Other moms screamed back that they had hyperemesis or whatever. Or debates over a lovey in the crib at 9 months.

I actually witnessed a heartbreaking scene a few weeks ago. A car seat was on top of a shopping cart and the car seat fell and landed face down. The baby was strapped in thankfully. But it was an infant <1 month old and was screaming so much his face was blue. The mom just plopped him back on the cart. We tried to help (my shopping companion was an OB), but there was a language barrier too. We could tell the mom cared about the baby though. I had wanted to say something and didn't before the baby fell. I've been thinking a lot about it and why I didn't speak up. I feel like I didn't want to be patronizing (she was poor, very young and an immigrant) so I didn't speak up, when I normally do. The baby clearly could have died.

Last year, I watched a toddler stand up on the seat and cause the cart to flip over on him. It happened in seconds and another witness and I ran over as the mom stood frozen in horror. The boy was so frightened that it took a bit for him to start screaming. He had a gash on his forehead that was pouring blood. I pulled out my phone and called 911. At that, the mom freaked and grabbed the child away from us. She ran out of the store. I want to believe she took him to the ER herself, but I think she might have been afraid of the authorities.

You were obnoxious for calling 911. All you did was force a stressed out mom to get away from you instead of giving her child a chance to catch his breath. YOU were the jerk. She needed a minute to evaluate the situation and see if her child required medical attention. For a poor an unnecessary trip to the ER can mean wiping out your savings.

YOU were the jerk in this situation. Do better next time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m 52 snd I would have told you to mind your own business.

I really don’t care if my kids fall and learn their lesson the natural way.

Falling that far is not going to be a big deal.

I think the people that agree with you are just very concerned about the public believing they are “good parents” based on their ability to “control” their kids.

I would have said to my child if you don’t stop you will hurt yourself but I would not force him to stop.

Once my child was pulling something and I told him it’s gonna fall and it fell on him, I said okay you need to fix it then he (at 4) had to sit there and fix what he had done. A mom came over as he put the things that fell away without my help she said, does he need help? No, he created this he will fix it. A man stepped up and said some kids need to learn from doing not telling you are doing a good job.

Women are so quick to believe their way is the right way.

So long story short MYOB.

totally agree!

[Anonymous]

I'm in my early 50's w/ elementary age kids. I had twins in my 40's.

I was and am a pretty confident mom. I greatly appreciate moms (of any age) who help me look out for my kids. I greatly appreciate moms (of any age) who are compassionate about the challenges of parenting, and who are supportive without being judgmental.

All that said, how receptive I am to having a dangerous situation pointed out, or a parenting suggestion offered, or constructive feedback on a situation or possibility depends hugely on how calm I am on any given day, how I perceive the situation being discussed, and how the person approaches me.

You sound quite judgmental OP. If I sensed judgment or condescension in your tone or attitude I will be quite unwelcoming. I would have behaved that way in my 20's and I'm sure I'll behave that way in my 80's.

Also, one of the pp's asked if you would judge a male the same way you're seeking to judge females. Check the bias you're bringing to the interaction at least as much as you're questioning the large group you're attempting to label.