If you have experienced other parents/kids being overly competitive

[Anonymous]

One kid we know said he was “only applying to Ivies.”

He is now attending a non-Ivy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One kid we know said he was “only applying to Ivies.”

He is now attending a non-Ivy.

I just don't understand why people don't realize what a mistake it is to say things like that!

[Anonymous]

This started for me when my DS was in 7th grade. Or at least, I became aware of it in 7th grade.

Part of the reason is because DH and I are alums who graduated from a highly selective college 20 years ago. We stupidly had a sticker on one of our cars. We took the sticker off. We also do not discuss this with family or friends and do not ask them intrusive questions. If they want to share, great, but we don't pry.

The biggest favor you can do for your DC is to keep your mouth shut. This is your DC's process, not yours. You are just in a supporting role. And when your DC goes to college, you are still only in a supporting role.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One kid we know said he was “only applying to Ivies.”

He is now attending a non-Ivy.

Feel better now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This started for me when my DS was in 7th grade. Or at least, I became aware of it in 7th grade.

Part of the reason is because DH and I are alums who graduated from a highly selective college 20 years ago. We stupidly had a sticker on one of our cars. We took the sticker off. We also do not discuss this with family or friends and do not ask them intrusive questions. If they want to share, great, but we don't pry.

The biggest favor you can do for your DC is to keep your mouth shut. This is your DC's process, not yours. You are just in a supporting role. And when your DC goes to college, you are still only in a supporting role.

This is exactly what I wonder about - if the other parents know that both parents are smart/accomplished/educated - the other parents have expectations for that kid - the pressure is worse than from their own parents. Why can't people stay in their lane? Are most parents immature and insecure?

We definitely keep our mouths shut. Thank you for sharing, because this is exactly what I am talking about (not sour grapes).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This started for me when my DS was in 7th grade. Or at least, I became aware of it in 7th grade.

Part of the reason is because DH and I are alums who graduated from a highly selective college 20 years ago. We stupidly had a sticker on one of our cars. We took the sticker off. We also do not discuss this with family or friends and do not ask them intrusive questions. If they want to share, great, but we don't pry.

The biggest favor you can do for your DC is to keep your mouth shut. This is your DC's process, not yours. You are just in a supporting role. And when your DC goes to college, you are still only in a supporting role.

This is exactly what I wonder about - if the other parents know that both parents are smart/accomplished/educated - the other parents have expectations for that kid - the pressure is worse than from their own parents. Why can't people stay in their lane? Are most parents immature and insecure?

We definitely keep our mouths shut. Thank you for sharing, because this is exactly what I am talking about (not sour grapes).

The point being made is in the "Why can't people" statement above.

Why can't people worry about themselves and not other people?

[Anonymous]

I feel sorry for the kids that are devastated after the rejection. It’s often because the parents humble bragged all oVer town about their dream - then the kid doesn’t get in and feels like a dud and a loser. Nice job Mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel sorry for the kids that are devastated after the rejection. It’s often because the parents humble bragged all oVer town about their dream - then the kid doesn’t get in and feels like a dud and a loser. Nice job Mom.

+1000

Until your own kids goes through the application process you don’t really understand just how competitive it really is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One kid we know said he was “only applying to Ivies.”

He is now attending a non-Ivy.

Feel better now?

No, it made me sad. He had the grades and scores, but still not enough without a hook.

[Anonymous]

My Dad's "friends" are vicious, they're threatening to cut off ties with her if she doesn't get into a top 15 school.