If you have experienced other parents/kids being overly competitive

[Anonymous]

We simply say we are looing forward to them picking the school that will make them the happiest. We will support them in their decision and happy that they are choosing not to be too stressed out about things.

Pass the mustard please.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just think it’s fun conversation. This is the stage we are in. Why not share?

Would you share if your kid was going to MC? Would you share if your kid was going to a school ranked in the bottom 100? No, you just like to share to brag and show off. I enjoy the conversation with the people who live next door who both went highly ranked schools where I went to community college yet we are neighbors in the same upper middle class who stress how important it is to get the best education to succeed yet their neighbor........

[Anonymous]

When I am speaking with my friends, I love when they brag about their kids and tell me how great their colleges are.

Giving them my time and my ear makes them very happy and costs me $0.

Try it. It makes this whole problem disappear instantly.

[Anonymous]

One thing that happened this year that was interesting is that the parents of kids that got into some really competitive schools are 100% remote -so they were bragging and bragging but now their kid is stuck at home while a lot of others are on campus. Of course, that's not universally related to rank, but my DS has 3 Ivy friends stuck at home while he is at a lower ranked school doing a good job with covid and having in person classes.....

So be careful what you ask for.

[Anonymous]

Can someone explain what this dynamic looks like, when parents are being competitive? Like, do parents pry for information from other parents just to compare school lists or something? I’m trying to imagine the scenarios the OP is referencing and we’re not at this stage yet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One thing that happened this year that was interesting is that the parents of kids that got into some really competitive schools are 100% remote -so they were bragging and bragging but now their kid is stuck at home while a lot of others are on campus. Of course, that's not universally related to rank, but my DS has 3 Ivy friends stuck at home while he is at a lower ranked school doing a good job with covid and having in person classes.....

So be careful what you ask for.

Sour grapes 🍇

Ivies are still ivies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One thing that happened this year that was interesting is that the parents of kids that got into some really competitive schools are 100% remote -so they were bragging and bragging but now their kid is stuck at home while a lot of others are on campus. Of course, that's not universally related to rank, but my DS has 3 Ivy friends stuck at home while he is at a lower ranked school doing a good job with covid and having in person classes.....

So be careful what you ask for.

Before COVID-19, we had tuberculosis in early 1900s. Henry David Thoreau took a leave of Harvard because of the disease. You might say he did remote during the time of tuberculosis, living out of Concord woods, reading and writing, all the while remaining in constantly in contact with his Harvard professor and mentor Emerson. The rest is history. We still read his book, Walden, among others. The Ivy students are still connected and are continuing with their work even in remote. If I were a betting man, I’d not be surprised if the next Henry David Thoreau, Bill Gate, or Steve Jobs comes out of Ivies in this age of coronavirus.

[Anonymous]

I feel bad now, asking my kid’s friends where they are applying! This is my first time in this rodeo and I am not from this area and don’t know the schools well and really am just trying to figure out where I should suggest my kid apply! Now I feel bad if I’ve made the other kids feel weird. Ugh. It’s going to be so much easier with my next kid once I know all the schools and have a handle on the process.

[Anonymous]

PP here - it's not sour grapes. It's honestly feeling badly for my DS's friends who are living at home and missing the college experience.

I'm actually just saying you never know and my DS picked a school that is a good fit for him and luckily is in person right now.

Agreed there will be many kids taking advantage and finding new paths and lots of college shake out - the virus will change lots of things about who and why you pick schools.

Of course the ivies will always be there, but hopefully people can think about other things when looking for schools.

My younger DS is a sophomore in high school - his experience will be different with likely no or less standardized testing, more essay time to explain how he spent time in covid and other things. It's a changing landscape for sure.

[Anonymous]

I don’t get the big deal personally, and yes my kid is applying to top twenty schools. No we don’t expect her to get into all of them. That’s why you pick a range of schools with your stats. If you set realistic expectations, it’s not a huge deal.

I share when people ask me. I think it’s a whole lot weirder when people act like it’s a state secret. Get over yourself.

[Anonymous]

Posts like this always make me laugh. You can tell when people don’t work or at least don’t work in demanding professions because this is the kind of thing they get all butt hurt over. Please. Give me a break and toughen up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean if your kid is applying to "normal" schools why not tell?

Ok maybe omit your kid is applying to Harvard as a reach but why not UVA, W&M and VT for example (?)

Or an average student PSU PITT VT UDEL

I find it annoying if people think where they are applying is a "secret"

If you don't say where they applied you don't have to tell the places that rejected them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean if your kid is applying to "normal" schools why not tell?

Ok maybe omit your kid is applying to Harvard as a reach but why not UVA, W&M and VT for example (?)

Or an average student PSU PITT VT UDEL

I find it annoying if people think where they are applying is a "secret"

If you don't say where they applied you don't have to tell the places that rejected them.

Oh please! Our kids are tougher than that. In fact, in my son’s HS the seniors did a rejection wall every year - posted their rejection letters in the hallway. Very therapeutic for the seniors and a fair warning for the juniors.

[Anonymous]

We learned the hard way not to tell anyone. Frenemies are just that. As my daughter described one of her friends: "she's a great friend as long as you don't compete with her, then she'll go behind your back."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One thing that happened this year that was interesting is that the parents of kids that got into some really competitive schools are 100% remote -so they were bragging and bragging but now their kid is stuck at home while a lot of others are on campus. Of course, that's not universally related to rank, but my DS has 3 Ivy friends stuck at home while he is at a lower ranked school doing a good job with covid and having in person classes.....

So be careful what you ask for.

Before COVID-19, we had tuberculosis in early 1900s. Henry David Thoreau took a leave of Harvard because of the disease. You might say he did remote during the time of tuberculosis, living out of Concord woods, reading and writing, all the while remaining in constantly in contact with his Harvard professor and mentor Emerson. The rest is history. We still read his book, Walden, among others. The Ivy students are still connected and are continuing with their work even in remote. If I were a betting man, I’d not be surprised if the next Henry David Thoreau, Bill Gate, or Steve Jobs comes out of Ivies in this age of coronavirus.

Good point. When our kids are just running around all the time with no reflection, how can they possibly think. Covid-19 has forced them into having downtime. Now, if only I could somehow drop their iphone into a vat of boiling water. Then, we'd finally have quiet!