Is 32F and 55M too large of an age gap?

[Anonymous]

I've dated guys 15 years older than I am, that was about the right span. 23 years, he's old enough to be your dad.

[Anonymous]

When I was 32 my dad was 55. Just no. If you’re the woman you can do better.

[Anonymous]

If the elder could be your mother or father - the gap is too big

[Anonymous]

Way too big. Think big picture. When you are in your 60s, you’ll be stuck taking care of him. I watched that happen with my mil and fil. It was awful for my mil.

[Anonymous]

OP hasn't come back with any details, right? I realize that the OP does NOT say if the person asking is the 32F or the 55M, and we're all making assumptions here that it's the younger woman who is asking. Maybe it's the 55M! Did I miss a post saying it's the woman posting for certain?

Either way, this is a gap that works for very few people, I think.

Here's a slightly different angle. Answering as if the OP is definitely the woman, but hey, I think this is a bad idea if OP is the man, too. Writing as if it's the woman:

OP, you are from different generations. I know, some will say that is irrelevant if you're in love. But even if he remains in remarkable health, has great sex drive even as he gets older, you're both financially fine so no conflicts there, etc., etc., you may still have more differences, due to your different generational backgrounds, than you realize right now. I'm not talking about silly, simplistic stuff like "He loves 70s' music, ew!" I'm talking about life experiences, values, and where you go from here.

Has he been married before? If divorced, why?

Does he know you want...whatever you really want? Like a business you want to open that would take up a lot of your time away from him, or a job you might land in another location requiring a move, etc.? Would your work and personal life in your early 30s mean things (travel, job somewhere distant, ambition that will take up time, interests and hobbies that don't interest him) that would conflict with what he might want (does he want to travel more--or less? Is he wanting you to spend more time with him and would resent your having a career, or even a serious hobby, that took more of your time in coming years, not less?).

In short, your goals and interests as a person in her 30s might start to look like "things that take you away from me" to him in another 5-10 years. That's a recipe for conflict. Maybe he says right now that he loves your interests, involvements, ambitions. And he surely means it. But will he start to see things differently as he gets older?

And all that doesn't even get into the idea of motherhood if you want that too.

[Anonymous]

Yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seems to work for David Brooks.

Knot, tied: New York Times columnist David Brooks wed Anne Snyder, his former research assistant, on Sunday.

The couple’s relationship sort-of went public in an inauspicious way — Politico noted in a wink-wink 2015 piece that the conservative columnist had devoted an outsized amount of verbiage in the acknowledgements of his book “The Road to Character” to Snyder, who is 23 years his junior. But all’s well that ends with bells, and Atlantic Media owner David Bradley and his wife, Katherine Bradley, threw a rehearsal luncheon for the couple on Saturday, we’re told (that poolside tent saw a lot of activity this weekend), followed by a Sunday ceremony at the Arboretum.

It’s the first marriage for Snyder, 32, now a freelance writer and director of a Houston, Tex., non-profit initiative. Brooks, 55, acknowledged his split from first wife, Sarah Brooks, in early 2015. They have three children.

So he cheated on his wife with his employee?

Brooks is no conservative! Lol

[Anonymous]

Not a big deal if he has a private jet. If he doesn’t it’s way too big a gap.

[Anonymous]

I post here in these threads on the reg. My non wealthy DH is 28 years older than I am. It’s been 11 years now. Our children are only 10 years apart which makes a difference so we weren’t thirty years apart on the parent train. Just 10 years apart on that train if that makes sense.

[Anonymous]

32 and 55 seems too wide a gap.
But 40 and 63 seems fine, am I wrong?
Same couple in 8 years....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:32 and 55 seems too wide a gap.
But 40 and 63 seems fine, am I wrong?
Same couple in 8 years....

No both seem off.

I think it's too big an age gap. At some point you will become his care giver and give up your youth, you will not enjoy retirement together and when you finish care giving you will then start to head into elder years yourself and have missed out on vital years.

I would never want this life. Do you want kids? Does he want to be raising kids into old age?

[Anonymous]

Even 15 too much if one is mid late thirties and the other is over 50. That is a generational gap. There are rare exceptions, but that is a sugar daddy situation or another similarly dysfunctional man sees value of women vis a vis their youth and admiration. Blech.

[Anonymous]

George Lucas is rocking that age gap and now has a young child in his 70s. That doesn't make it right for you.