Wife spends too much money on stupid crafts

[Anonymous]

OP hates his wife. The crafting is irrelevant.

[Anonymous]

I'm a woman and I like making things from time to time, but mostly out of stuff I already have. Or drawing using art supplies I already have (various times in my life I've done a lot of drawing and sometimes painting, then it just stops for years)--which can lead to additional purchases (a fancy mat cutter so I could try matting my own pieces, for example). This would drive me nuts. Plus. I know plenty of people who very compulsively buy craft-related stuff, use some of it, the rest piles up (they are the same people who buy amber beads for teething infants, I swear). It's a form of hoarding in my book.

I think OP has the right to not want tacky stuff on the walls and surfaces or materials cluttering up shared living space, I think he has the right to object if his wife is compulsively buying craft stuff she does not use, I think he has the right to object to Hobby Lobby, I think he has the right to object to financial strains. Of course, that means his wife is fair to have analogous objections to his interests.

[Anonymous]

I just ordered all kinds of things from Hobby Lobby. I never buy more until I put up the previous order. That would be hoarding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I grew up with a hoarder mom and I HATE clutter, it gives me ptsd.
I would arrange for a special room or barn or whatever where she keeps all her crap.
When my child was younger the clutter stressed me out so much. I would literally throw his toys out of the kitchen back to the living room or made him take them to his room.
It is maddening

Get medication and therapy. At least op's thread is good for something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The fact that she buys from Hobby Lobby would be the most concerning part.

Before being married I would intentionally take girlfriends to shopping centers with a Michaels to see if they would take the bait.

Wait. What? You were concerned, before marriage, that your wife to be would waste too much money on crafts or you personally hate crafting? This seems highly unlikely.

...and the women were wondering why he took them to a shitty strip mall for a date.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up with a hoarder mom and I HATE clutter, it gives me ptsd.
I would arrange for a special room or barn or whatever where she keeps all her crap.
When my child was younger the clutter stressed me out so much. I would literally throw his toys out of the kitchen back to the living room or made him take them to his room.
It is maddening

Get medication and therapy. At least op's thread is good for something.

OP here again. My mom was a hoarder too and it was one of the reasons I decided to cut contact. I can’t deal with the roaches and the piles of musty mildew stuff in my childhood home. My wife is not a hoarder but she’s getting there with all the stuff she’s piling up in her ‘craft room’. She spends time sitting and gluing with glitter and goodness knows what to gift to people, to put up on our walls, and I have told her her crafting is pretty pointless and doesn’t value add to anything. And yet is costing us at least $600 a month. That could pay for some personal training sessions at my gym but no, she rather sits at home cutting colorful paper and getting glitter over the carpet. I’m at my wits end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up with a hoarder mom and I HATE clutter, it gives me ptsd.
I would arrange for a special room or barn or whatever where she keeps all her crap.
When my child was younger the clutter stressed me out so much. I would literally throw his toys out of the kitchen back to the living room or made him take them to his room.
It is maddening

Get medication and therapy. At least op's thread is good for something.

He is free to make messes in his room but no toys allowed in the kitchen. I tolerated some in the living room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up with a hoarder mom and I HATE clutter, it gives me ptsd.
I would arrange for a special room or barn or whatever where she keeps all her crap.
When my child was younger the clutter stressed me out so much. I would literally throw his toys out of the kitchen back to the living room or made him take them to his room.
It is maddening

Get medication and therapy. At least op's thread is good for something.

OP here again. My mom was a hoarder too and it was one of the reasons I decided to cut contact. I can’t deal with the roaches and the piles of musty mildew stuff in my childhood home. My wife is not a hoarder but she’s getting there with all the stuff she’s piling up in her ‘craft room’. She spends time sitting and gluing with glitter and goodness knows what to gift to people, to put up on our walls, and I have told her her crafting is pretty pointless and doesn’t value add to anything. And yet is costing us at least $600 a month. That could pay for some personal training sessions at my gym but no, she rather sits at home cutting colorful paper and getting glitter over the carpet. I’m at my wits end.

I am the hoarder mom PP.
I think as long as she is in her craft room she can do pretty much whatever.
Just tell her she can’t put her mason jars around the house.
As for money, I have a friend who doesn’t agree with her spouse’s frivolous spending. What she does is she takes out the matching amount out of her family budget and spends or saves it. It gives her a little relief.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up with a hoarder mom and I HATE clutter, it gives me ptsd.
I would arrange for a special room or barn or whatever where she keeps all her crap.
When my child was younger the clutter stressed me out so much. I would literally throw his toys out of the kitchen back to the living room or made him take them to his room.
It is maddening

Get medication and therapy. At least op's thread is good for something.

OP here again. My mom was a hoarder too and it was one of the reasons I decided to cut contact. I can’t deal with the roaches and the piles of musty mildew stuff in my childhood home. My wife is not a hoarder but she’s getting there with all the stuff she’s piling up in her ‘craft room’. She spends time sitting and gluing with glitter and goodness knows what to gift to people, to put up on our walls, and I have told her her crafting is pretty pointless and doesn’t value add to anything. And yet is costing us at least $600 a month. That could pay for some personal training sessions at my gym but no, she rather sits at home cutting colorful paper and getting glitter over the carpet. I’m at my wits end.

I am the hoarder mom PP.
I think as long as she is in her craft room she can do pretty much whatever.
Just tell her she can’t put her mason jars around the house.
As for money, I have a friend who doesn’t agree with her spouse’s frivolous spending. What she does is she takes out the matching amount out of her family budget and spends or saves it. It gives her a little relief.

New poster. I disagree with this approach to just let her clutter the craft room. It doesn’t stop her from wasting time and money at Hobby Lobby. You need to send her for a psych evaluation because this is the lamest hobby anyone could pick up.

[Anonymous]

What exactly is she making, OP?

[Anonymous]

A few issues here, and we do not know enough about the situation but: I am a crafter and I love creating but you can look around your house and use supplies you have without overspending at Michael’s. I hate waste and clutter and am basically a minimalist.

A. If you are a crafter and do want to go the Michael’s route, set a budget together.

B. If the issue is more dislike and contempt and crafting is just a stand-in (and could just as easily be hobby a, b, or c), then own that.

[Anonymous]

Op, how much time and energy do you give towards the relationship? What are things you both enjoy? If not now, how about when you two were dating?

How much time do you spend watching sports/movies/political shows/your type of thing without her?

How much $ do you spend, and how much time do you spend, on political/[your trade] subscriptions, memberships, applications?

How long have you been married? First marriage or no? Kids?

Why does she have this much time to spend? We need more info.

[Anonymous]

OP, this makes me sad for your wife.

As we become adults, it can be hard to keep hold of a sense of fun and whimsy that doesn’t have an explicit measurable goal. And when we lose that, we lose a lot of the joy that life can offer, regardless of whether or not we’re successful in objective terms.

I see that loss reflected in your comments — you wish she’d go to the gym NOT because she’d enjoy it or it would improve her mood, but because it might help her lose twenty pounds.

Meanwhile she’s getting joy out of playing with glitter and paper. Nothing will come of it, she won’t make millions as an artist. So what? She’s having a grand time for less than your personal trainer costs you, while you’re fuming about the mess and expense (which you can clearly afford; otherwise you would’ve replied to the many people who asked you if her crafting was seriously cramping your household budget).

Between you and your wife, I know who I’d choose to be: the person with a talent for happiness, cheap glitter and all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hello, my name is Larla and I LOVE fabric. I buy it, sew some of it and store the rest of it in the closet for....whenever. You can’t make me stop.

Ouch, this hit too close to home lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound like a peach. Just be lucky you found someone who puts up with your bad attitude. Wife's crafting is the least of your worries. You need a new personality.

No, OP sounds normal and it's the wife that has a problem. I am sure she is not working if this is how she's spending all her time.

I do wonder what is it with women and crafting though? And sorry to say but 99% of the stuff is junk. When men do crafts, they make items with utility like tables, woodwork...women just glue pieces of paper together and clutter the house. I’m a woman and I’m so embarrassed to be associated with such an insipid activity.

Internalized misogyny. If men do it its worthwhile. If women do it it's a waste of time.

I'm not a crafter, but many of my friends are and its a healthier hobby than alcohol/pot/manicures