Your children's looks

[Anonymous]

My kids looks are irrelevant to how I see them. Like a pp mentioned thinking they were adorable babies and being shocked to see the pictures years on. I have mom goggles on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think “cute” is ideal. Breathtakingly gorgeous people can end up messed up emotionally for a whole host of reasons.

This. I think my 8yo is reasonably cute and I love the way she looks, but she's not stunning/gorgeous, and I'm glad for that. She'll have to develop her personality, intellect and other attributes.

This sort of weirdly implies that gorgeous people won't work on their personality or intellect because "they don't have to." I've not found that to really be the case.

PP here. I'm referring to what you could term "pretty privilege." Some pretty people may still work on their other attributes, but average people will have to work even harder. This goes with any sort of privilege, really. I'm okay if my kid has to work harder; I think it's a good way to develop grit.

And some average and ugly people will not work on other attributes and play the role of the average or ugly person. Sounds like we're all just people after all!

[Anonymous]

This whole thread is pathetic.

[Anonymous]

I have boys and I find it a lot less important. We got a lot of comments that he would be the best looking kid in HS. I don't think you necessarily know and I don't know if I want my son to be. I also don't think he will be. Now, being on the shorter side I do worry about if I am honest. Sports are competitive here and size is an advantage. One of my boys is very short and the other very tall, so hoping that isn't a major issue for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not as important for guys to be attractive because both the labor market and dating market place a higher value on intellect, confidence, and creativity. Most of the attractive women end up married to guys that are average looking but successful in their careers, went to good schools etc. Most "attractive" men who are not successful in their careers do not end up marrying attractive women. So, parental concerns are different or should be different depending on gender. I have boys and I'm mostly worried about their achievement in school and ability to to earn money later. I'd be worried about this for a daughter too, but I'd also be much more worried about how she looks.

+1. I don't really think looks matter for guys. In fact, most of the very handsome guys I know ended up as low achievers.

[Anonymous]

Lol. My DD was the most beautiful baby and ES child ( modeled for 2 agencies) but puberty hit and I am flabbergasted. But, she is extremely smart and wise. My youngest is cute but kinda chubby/ stocky build but has a fierce personality and smart too. Idk. I live them regardless as they are my babies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is anonymous so flame me.

My DD is obese. I’m doing what I can as a parent (healthy options, activity, even therapy) but There is only so much you can do.

I wish for her sake she can shed some pounds before the other kids get really mean. For me, it’s not about beauty - it’s about quality of life. I don’t want her picked last, not get invited to parties, or later in life not have a date to the prom or wrestle with eating disorders.

Fat people can be beautiful. Fat people can be popular. Fat people can have friends, be successful in life, and marry wonderful people. In my middle school, the most hated girl was Becky and she was very skinny. Cheerleading was not big at my school, but in our 8th grade yearbook all the cheerleaders took out an ad that said "To Shari, the coolest one of us all!" and Shari was the only fat cheerleader.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lol. My DD was the most beautiful baby and ES child ( modeled for 2 agencies) but puberty hit and I am flabbergasted. But, she is extremely smart and wise. My youngest is cute but kinda chubby/ stocky build but has a fierce personality and smart too. Idk. I live them regardless as they are my babies.

What happened to your DD when puberty hit?

[Anonymous]

I honestly think my daughter is the most beautiful creature in the world and fully acknowledge that's because I'm her mother. I don't especially care what the world thinks of her looks

Some of this thread reminds me of the old adage: "Pretty in the cradle, ugly at the table"

[Anonymous]

I don't get why people are talking about their young kids being cute here. Most human babies are cute, so the fact that your kid is cute doesn't say much. I think the OP is asking about what they'll turn out to look like as teens and adults. Usually you can tell by the time they're 9 or 10 whether they're going to have good facial bone structure and whether their hair will be easy to style in an attractive way or not. You can tell by about that age whether their coloring will enable them to have that "natural" look where they literally "wake up looking like this." For girls you can also generally tell what their body type will be (apple, hourglass, pear, and so on) and whether they'll be in the normal height range by that age.

I think it's really challenging when a kid is average looking but has really good looking parents or siblings. That was my situation. With a lot of good styling and work, I am above average in looks. But my mom was movie star beautiful when she was young, and it sucked being her daughter because I don't think she had any idea how to guide me in living life as a woman without extraordinary looks. My female siblings were gifted with amazing genes and are each an "8" without having to do much more than brush their teeth. They experienced all the attention that others mentioned here like being given things by people and asked if they needed anything while I'd get overlooked. To this day, we can walk up to a crowded bar and it's like the bartenders have radar for them. I can wait forever to be noticed and get my drink orders in. My brother was also well above average in the looks department and always had a string of girls hoping to date him the minute he broke up with his latest girlfriend. It's really like there are two worlds out there.

[Anonymous]

I have a boy, never thought about it but happy that people say he is “handsome”. I hope he won’t be fat or have bad skin.

[Anonymous]

If your kid is not that attractive, for the love of god, please help them to at least make the most of what they've got. If your daughter has a unibrow, take her to a decent salon to have it dealt with. If she's chubby, take her to a shop that specializes in plus sizes so that she can still be stylish. Get your son some clothes that are not little kid clothing brands that he wore back in middle school. And closely monitor the stylist when he gets a haircut because he has no idea how to ask for what he wants. (Most adult women can't even articulate what they want!) And if he wants a haircut that will look awful, just say no. It's for his own good.

The naturally gorgeous people can make it through high school looking fantastic without much parental intervention, but most teens need a lot of help to not be a mess. These are things you have to learn, and it's the parents' responsibility to teach them or pay someone who can.

[Anonymous]

It helps not to be hideous but look at DC. Lots of very plain homely people doing well for themselves. If they aren’t beautiful they’ll be fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DCs are above average in looks both in their faces and their bodies. Many issues for kids come into play, for example, with short boys or really tall girls or chubby builds. My kids are lucky in the looks department but more importantly they are smart, hardworking and kind.

You sound ridiculous.

You are able to look at your own kids and say something like they have no facial abnormalities, faces are symmetrical, teeth are straight and white. Maybe they have a certain classic look... tall dark and handsome, or blue eyed blondes. But your idea of "above average" is very different from someone else's.

I know people like you, who actually say their kids are above average in looks. But to me, their kids are very basic looking.

For what it's worth, my son is 8 and I think he's cute as can be. But I understand that I'm his mom and so I can't be objective.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think most people's children are average to ugly. Rarely see a truly stunning kid. Their parents always think they're handsome/pretty. I hope it's not something parents worry about.

Yes, I’m sitting here giggling at all the parents proclaiming their children are stunningly beautiful/handsome. Don’t parents know that they are the least objective judges of their children’s looks ever?