Your children's looks

[Anonymous]

Blond hair and blue eyes are almost extinct where I live, so I always notice those kids because they are just rare. That is not to say anything racist because there are still a lot of white kids with light hair but they mostly have brown eyes, that's all. Even with light hair, brown eyes are more common.

[Anonymous]

Just because a kid lacks something (melanin) does not mean they are more beautiful. The lack of melanin was an evolutionary development that occurred in European populations that had less exposure to sunlight compared to other parts of the world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My child has a rare genetic disorder. She's mostly like a typical kid, but sometimes she's a bit "quirky" and as she gets older, more people might pick up on this.

She is exceptionally beautiful; strangers have stopped us on the street to remark about her looks. Part of the reason why is because of the genetic disorder, but it also was just a luck of the genetic draw. My husband is cute, but I am far from beautiful.

I'm very grateful for her beauty, because I hope it will protect her a bit more from teasing and cruelty. But I try not to talk about her looks, and instead really make an effort to praise her for hard work and resiliency.

What genetic disorder causes beauty? Just curious.

[Anonymous]

My best friend’s young daughters are beautiful. I don’t know how that will change as they become teenagers, but they are very striking and it totally makes a difference how they are treated right now. It’s a well-established fact that attractive people benefit from the halo effect, wherein other positive qualities (goodness, kindness, cleverness, etc.) are attributed to them specifically because of their good looks. I don’t think it’s as pronounced for boys, but girls totally benefit/suffer because of their looks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"I'm not that poster but to say you 'dont have to worry' because your kid is blond and blue eyed is at minimum stupid (like what does that even mean?) and at maximum racist."

Racist?! How the hell is it racist? I don't have blonde hair and blue eyes, but for better or worse, many people consider that combination attractive.

It could be perceived racist because you are playing into the stereotype that as long as you have blonde hair and blue eyes (traditionally counted as beautiful among the colonial empire), you're considered beautiful. What happens if you have dark hair and dairk eyes...do you have to fight to be second in line behind the blondes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just because a kid lacks something (melanin) does not mean they are more beautiful. The lack of melanin was an evolutionary development that occurred in European populations that had less exposure to sunlight compared to other parts of the world.

Sure. My entire family has blue eyes (I have brown) and they also can see much better in the dark than I can. Conversely, I rarely need sunglasses because the light doesn't bother my eyes. My kids and spouse whine nonstop about sunny days and we can't even take outdoor pictures because they all squint so badly.

I think people are just drawn to differences that are different than the norm. Everyone comments on how my one son has one blue and one green eye. It is very distinctive. Same with red hair (although nearly everyone I know with red hair hates it and the ginger comments).

[Anonymous]

My son is very beautiful. People remark on it regularly and it makes him so uncomfortable. I don’t want him to be uncomfortable and we work with him on how to good-naturedly deflect, but in my mind it is one less worry. Life is easier for the beautiful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"I'm not that poster but to say you 'dont have to worry' because your kid is blond and blue eyed is at minimum stupid (like what does that even mean?) and at maximum racist."

Racist?! How the hell is it racist? I don't have blonde hair and blue eyes, but for better or worse, many people consider that combination attractive.

It could be perceived racist because you are playing into the stereotype that as long as you have blonde hair and blue eyes (traditionally counted as beautiful among the colonial empire), you're considered beautiful. What happens if you have dark hair and dairk eyes...do you have to fight to be second in line behind the blondes?

Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you look at it), perception of beauty has nothing to do with fairness and yes, if you have dark hair and dark eyes you may very well need to fight to be second in line behind the blondes. I'm personally attracted to women with darker complexions and would never date a blonde. But, the majority of friends I grew up with always had a hard on for blondes. When I travelled to Sweden and was looking for advice on travel forums, I couldn't stop running across posts saying how beautiful all the people were. i found them to be quite average looking outside of blonde hair! But the crowds have spoken and apparently they are all beautiful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My child has a rare genetic disorder. She's mostly like a typical kid, but sometimes she's a bit "quirky" and as she gets older, more people might pick up on this.

She is exceptionally beautiful; strangers have stopped us on the street to remark about her looks. Part of the reason why is because of the genetic disorder, but it also was just a luck of the genetic draw. My husband is cute, but I am far from beautiful.

I'm very grateful for her beauty, because I hope it will protect her a bit more from teasing and cruelty. But I try not to talk about her looks, and instead really make an effort to praise her for hard work and resiliency.

What genetic disorder causes beauty? Just curious.

The PP you’re quoting. I’m not going to name the specific one because trying to remain anonymous here, but there’s quite a few syndromes that can result in features like long eyelashes, large eyes, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am cringing so hard at all the “my kid is so attractive, blonde hair blue eyes” comments. I feel like the aryan nation, white is best comments, are ones that should be kept to yourself, no?

I have twin girls - one has white blonde hair and blue eyes, the other has brown hair and green eyes. People fawn over the blonde one even though she's actually more average-looking and the brunette is prettier. I don't think PP meant anything racist by it, but people react positively towards blonde-haired blue-eyed kids. I don't think that means I'm racist because I had a blonde daughter, and I hate that people comment more on one twin than the other, but I do see it happen. That may make them racist, but not me. Or PP.

Please, Nobody said you were racist because your kid was blonde.

The general “you” here is acting like because they don’t attend KKK rallies they can’t possibly be racist.

Hitler referred to Aryan as fair skin, blonde hair and blue eyes. It was propaganda used to push the agenda that Aryan is a supreme form of human (or a “master race”)

Like I said before, you can see a hitler quote on your throw pillow if you want, I’m just shocked people are so willing to publicize it.

You have a real chip on your shoulder. The blonde comments were super innocuous but you, or someone else, blew them all out of proportion. You're as big of a whack job as you accuse others of being.

[Anonymous]

I think most people want gorgeous and brilliant kids. Most kids are at least cute, most adults aren’t. Chances are your kid will grow up average.

My oldest son is gorgeous with very delicate features. Curious how they look as he grows. I marine he’ll look like Nicholas Holt as an adult. My youngest son is sweet and cute but has always been goofy looking. He’ll end up looking like DH. Thankfully he’s smart.

[Anonymous]

I think a lot of people are not understanding the difference between an objective statement about societal standards of beauty and an endorsement of those standards.

[Anonymous]

My two teenaged sons are extremely good looking. People comment on it and compare them to movie stars who are known for being extremely attractive.

One is extremely shy and the other is very pessimistic. I'd rather they be less good looking than have to struggle with those traits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think a lot of people are not understanding the difference between an objective statement about societal standards of beauty and an endorsement of those standards.

That’s fair.

[Anonymous]

My daughter has facial scars from a rare condition.

At first I was devastated by this and by the prospect that people would be unkind to her because of her difference.

But so far I have realized that she is a lot smarter and more resilient than I ever give her credit for. Sometimes people have to rise to meet their challenges, whether it be a physical disability or being unattractive physically.