Your children's looks

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not as important for guys to be attractive because both the labor market and dating market place a higher value on intellect, confidence, and creativity. Most of the attractive women end up married to guys that are average looking but successful in their careers, went to good schools etc. Most "attractive" men who are not successful in their careers do not end up marrying attractive women. So, parental concerns are different or should be different depending on gender. I have boys and I'm mostly worried about their achievement in school and ability to to earn money later. I'd be worried about this for a daughter too, but I'd also be much more worried about how she looks.

+1. I don't really think looks matter for guys. In fact, most of the very handsome guys I know ended up as low achievers.

Height matters

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not as important for guys to be attractive because both the labor market and dating market place a higher value on intellect, confidence, and creativity. Most of the attractive women end up married to guys that are average looking but successful in their careers, went to good schools etc. Most "attractive" men who are not successful in their careers do not end up marrying attractive women. So, parental concerns are different or should be different depending on gender. I have boys and I'm mostly worried about their achievement in school and ability to to earn money later. I'd be worried about this for a daughter too, but I'd also be much more worried about how she looks.

+1. I don't really think looks matter for guys. In fact, most of the very handsome guys I know ended up as low achievers.

Height matters

Agreed. Height, shoulders body in general are very important for most men and women. I have seen plenty of women with kind of ugly faces, but beautiful bodies get attention and pretty but overweight women never getting attention

[Anonymous]

My kids being physically and mentally healthy is the #1 most important thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not as important for guys to be attractive because both the labor market and dating market place a higher value on intellect, confidence, and creativity. Most of the attractive women end up married to guys that are average looking but successful in their careers, went to good schools etc. Most "attractive" men who are not successful in their careers do not end up marrying attractive women. So, parental concerns are different or should be different depending on gender. I have boys and I'm mostly worried about their achievement in school and ability to to earn money later. I'd be worried about this for a daughter too, but I'd also be much more worried about how she looks.

+1. I don't really think looks matter for guys. In fact, most of the very handsome guys I know ended up as low achievers.

Height matters

Agreed. Height, shoulders body in general are very important for most men and women. I have seen plenty of women with kind of ugly faces, but beautiful bodies get attention and pretty but overweight women never getting attention

You’re basically saying the same thing. A pretty face won’t make up for an ugly body.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lol. My DD was the most beautiful baby and ES child ( modeled for 2 agencies) but puberty hit and I am flabbergasted. But, she is extremely smart and wise. My youngest is cute but kinda chubby/ stocky build but has a fierce personality and smart too. Idk. I live them regardless as they are my babies.

What happened to your DD when puberty hit?

Yeah how ugly can a model child become at 11? Or is it that you were expecting model good looks to continue thru life and now you realize she’ll just be normal.

[Anonymous]

Honestly IDC if my kids are average (too soon to know as they’re babies now) when they get to their teens BUT I would hate for them to be far. It’s America so everyone is heavier than they need to be but life is just easier for skinny people; and if anyone is fat, let it be the boy. A 6ft tall male can pull off the offensive lineman look more than a girl of any height.

[Anonymous]

My daughter is cute, with long legs, beautiful hair, nice smile. Her looks aren't distracting but won't hurt her in anyway. I'll admit I'm relieved by that.

[Anonymous]

Our daughters got my genes (blonde Scandinavian), but with green eyes instead of light blue like mine. I think they are pretty. It is what it is; beauty can be a curse. I am more concerned with teaching them to fight the "dumb blonde" stereotype they will surely face in the world. A smart, beautiful, blonde woman confuses people. I don't want them to be misunderstood like I was.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am glad that my children are beautiful.

But not too beautiful. My niece is too beautiful and I told her... btw you are so beautiful that nice guys are afraid to ask you out and a$$holes will.

She is a junior in college now and unfortunately this has proved to be true. I told her she needs to pick and stop waiting to be picked.

That’s good advice.

[Anonymous]

I really worried that my son would be fat. I have struggled with my weight since I was around 10, and I was teased horribly in school, even though looking back I wasn't huge. I just was bigger than average. My husband didn't have weight issues when he was young, but he was always tall and stocky--football player kind of build. My son WAS chubby as a kid--not fat, but not thin, and he was on the shorter side. He won't be as tall as my husband. I always kind of tried to let him know that weight issues run in our family, so try to be healthy--without trying to make him have an eating disorder.

But around a year and a half ago as he became a teenager, he lost ALL of his baby fat and is a total string bean. He's still on the shorter side, though. I will be really happy if he reaches 5'10. Men ARE judged on height.

People have commented that he's SO thin now, and I definitely have talked to him about eating. I worry I've made him too conscious about it. He will sometimes say that he's not thin because he has a "belly," but really he just isn't very athletic. I've told him if he would exercise more, he would get toned. He definitely eat, though. But he is aware of calories, and I don't think that's a bad thing. Life is much harder when you're fat.

[Anonymous]

My child has a rare genetic disorder. She's mostly like a typical kid, but sometimes she's a bit "quirky" and as she gets older, more people might pick up on this.

She is exceptionally beautiful; strangers have stopped us on the street to remark about her looks. Part of the reason why is because of the genetic disorder, but it also was just a luck of the genetic draw. My husband is cute, but I am far from beautiful.

I'm very grateful for her beauty, because I hope it will protect her a bit more from teasing and cruelty. But I try not to talk about her looks, and instead really make an effort to praise her for hard work and resiliency.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think most people's children are average to ugly. Rarely see a truly stunning kid. Their parents always think they're handsome/pretty. I hope it's not something parents worry about.

Yes, I’m sitting here giggling at all the parents proclaiming their children are stunningly beautiful/handsome. Don’t parents know that they are the least objective judges of their children’s looks ever?

DH and I are average looking people with an average looking child. We have heard other people tell her she's pretty, but I don't see it (beyond that she has some beautiful features, which pretty much everyone else does, as well). DD and I give each other 'the look' when we hear that; we don't really place much emphasis on looks, and she knows that what will get her anywhere in life is her work ethic, and her heart.

DD's best friend is a pretty child, and will probably grow up to be a good looking girl. I have never heard her parents say boo about her looks, either. She's a nice kid, her personality is very compatible with DD's, and that's the important thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think “cute” is ideal. Breathtakingly gorgeous people can end up messed up emotionally for a whole host of reasons.

Yes, I’m on this camp, too. I’d like my children to be attractive but not incredibly gorgeous. And I think that is where they are at 8 and 10.

[Anonymous]

My dd who is a hs senior is still mistaken for being 12 or 13 at restaurants, gatherings with acquaintances, etc. She does wear some makeup and doesn’t dress particular childish. I hope this doesn’t affect her for jobs in the future

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think “cute” is ideal. Breathtakingly gorgeous people can end up messed up emotionally for a whole host of reasons.

This. I think my 8yo is reasonably cute and I love the way she looks, but she's not stunning/gorgeous, and I'm glad for that. She'll have to develop her personality, intellect and other attributes.

You say that but there are sadly millions of average-looking people with only middling intellects and personalities. It's wrong to think of average looks as something that somehow navigates you into being interesting.