I am loving quarantine, but no good way to admit it?

[Anonymous]

You don’t need to share this. The world doesn’t need every thought in your head. Just say you’re fine and grateful for each day.

[Anonymous]

Although I miss being able to do normal things like go to the grocery store without fear or go to a movie theater, I’m enjoying spending time with my family and being able to sleep on my own body’s clock.

We’ve always been “slackers” compared to a lot of folks in the DC area, so this hasn’t been as hard for us as for others. I’m sad and worried for the health and safety of my fellow humans, but staying at home has not been difficult for me - quite the opposite!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I feel the exact same way. I could have written this. We could be friends and communicate just as pen pals sending fun postcards. I am with you 100 percent. And I can't say it aloud either, as all the piling-on from brats on this board demonstrates. My husband and I telework during the day and try our best to homeschool the kids (ages 10 and 12). Then evenings and weekends are outside time, movies, art, walks, etc. We usually live a very hectic life with lots of activities, school stuff, kid extracurriculars, events/parties, etc, and it's been this sweet glorious breather where we just get to enjoy each others' company and our home. But yeah, admitting you actually have a happy marriage, you actually like your kids and you take pleasure in the simple things like prepping the garden for spring, that you don'r care about regular-life things like new restaurants opening and music festivals -- for whatever reason people go nuclear over that. Anyway OP, it's our secret.

I'm PP who doesn't miss travel sports and all the running around.

I want to be your pen pal and send fun postcards! I've been mailing sweet or funny things to my small group of lifelong friends...because I have the time to dig thru old pics and memorabilia.

Here's a copy of that note you sent passed me in middle school...you are still such a bitch!

Anyway, I've had time to reflect on the people in my life who really matter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:You were doing life wrong if a pandemic quarantine has made your life better.

No, the American way of work was doing it wrong, insisting that everyone needed their butt in an office chair 5 days a week.

You sound lazy.

So, now it’s lazy to enjoy the extra time with your family? I’ll take it!

Its really sad that you enjoy your coworkers more.

So you want to work less, but I imagine still be paid the same and enjoy all the perks of American life? Got it. How clueless you are.

Work less? That’s not always true. No coworker interruptions, less unproductive meetings.

If that’s what your workplace is, then it sounds very unproductive indeed. Some of us actually work at work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don’t need to share this. The world doesn’t need every thought in your head. Just say you’re fine and grateful for each day.

THIS!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You were doing life wrong if a pandemic quarantine has made your life better.

No, the American way of work was doing it wrong, insisting that everyone needed their butt in an office chair 5 days a week.

You sound lazy.

So, now it’s lazy to enjoy the extra time with your family? I’ll take it!

Its really sad that you enjoy your coworkers more.

So you want to work less, but I imagine still be paid the same and enjoy all the perks of American life? Got it. How clueless you are.

What perks are these? Abysmal PTO, astronomically expensive health insurance, no job security. Wow, sign me up!

Seriously, what perks are you talking about?

[Anonymous]

I don't understand the anger at OP, who is sharing her feelings, including a firm grasp that this is also a terrible time for many people. She is doing her part, people, by staying home for the good of everyone, even though the virus hasn't affected her personally. Sheesh, that's what we keep haranguing people to do.

[Anonymous]

OP here again. I'm finding the range of responses fascinating - thank you to every one of you. Some of what I'm hearing is the importance of AND thinking.

I can recognize my extreme privilege AND
I can be extremely worried about the state of the world and the future AND
I can be very sad for HS seniors - this must really suck AND
I can realize that it's worse for people in dangerous work spaces right now AND
I can be very sad that people are dying AND
I can appreciate the reminder to be grateful AND
I can find silver linings in this situation and try to make the best of it AND
I can appreciate that shouting from the rooftops at my newfound appreciation for life is tone deaf AND...

[Anonymous]

I’m loving this time as well 🤷🏻‍♀️
Spending time with my family, not having to run everywhere.

I also recognize my privilege and the huge cost and disruption of this pandemic.

But I wish we could keep some of the good things of this situation: being more gentle with ourselves, with every human being and with the planet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here again. I'm finding the range of responses fascinating - thank you to every one of you. Some of what I'm hearing is the importance of AND thinking.

I can recognize my extreme privilege AND
I can be extremely worried about the state of the world and the future AND
I can be very sad for HS seniors - this must really suck AND
I can realize that it's worse for people in dangerous work spaces right now AND
I can be very sad that people are dying AND
I can appreciate the reminder to be grateful AND
I can find silver linings in this situation and try to make the best of it AND
I can appreciate that shouting from the rooftops at my newfound appreciation for life is tone deaf AND...

NP, and this, exactly. It's not "or" or "but," it's "and." Always, not just now.

The only thing I find obnoxious is when people are smug about how they're enjoying this time, as if it's their doing and their choice, rather than mostly good luck. There's an attitude of superiority in finding peace in simpler things; it's not about that, it's that for many of us, we're robbed of simple pleasures, whether through illness, or job loss, or because our kids won't stop talking all freaking day while we're trying to work.

Keep it up, OP. We're mostly struggling right now, but I'm glad that you're enjoying this time and appreciate the sensitivity of sharing those feelings. I don't begrudge anyone their happiness, as long as they don't claim that my struggling is because I'm doing it wrong or I can't slow down or some other such nonsense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here again. I'm finding the range of responses fascinating - thank you to every one of you. Some of what I'm hearing is the importance of AND thinking.

I can recognize my extreme privilege AND
I can be extremely worried about the state of the world and the future AND
I can be very sad for HS seniors - this must really suck AND
I can realize that it's worse for people in dangerous work spaces right now AND
I can be very sad that people are dying AND
I can appreciate the reminder to be grateful AND
I can find silver linings in this situation and try to make the best of it AND
I can appreciate that shouting from the rooftops at my newfound appreciation for life is tone deaf AND...

Well said.

[Anonymous]

OP, I am another one. After this ends I will never put on the social mask again. I pray for everyone who has suffered and died, and I plan to live life to the fullest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. Just keep your thoughts to yourself. Not every stupid feeling needs to be shared.

Maybe you need to take your own advice?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First let me say, that I completely recognize how privileged and lucky I am to be in this position and feel very grateful. We are donating money to places helping those less fortunate in this downturn, supporting our local businesses, etc. I completely get that this is devastating for many people and businesses. Which does not negate that for me personally, I have been feeling at peace for weeks in a way I have not for years.

I am working full time as is my husband, and we have two kids, so we’re managing the online schooling, which has been challenging. We’re doing occasional virtual happy hours and keeping in touch with friends by text and phone. But the running around busy-ness and the social activities and the commuting and everything that drives me crazy is gone. I have time and patience, I’m being honest with friends if I just don’t feel like doing something social, I just decline and catch them next time instead of pushing myself into a bunch of stuff I don’t want to do. I’m doing activities I love in my house, playing games with the kids and catching up on housework.

My anxiety and light depression is gone - there’s no overwhelming choice of what I SHOULD be doing. I am release from the guilt of just doing what I want, which for the most part is a slow and simple life with the people I love. I buy only what I need and then don’t think about what I want. I’m not overwhelmed with social interaction. I’m very introverted and it exhausts me, but I feel pressured to go out and have fun and keep up with a bunch of friends.

I have had to have the same conversation with several friends and coworkers - “how are you holding up?” They’ll say and share their stories about how they miss regular life and they’re being driven up the walls and their kids won’t do their work, and I’m not overly honest, but generally say I’m surprised that I’m enjoying it so much. And it’s kind of a conversation killer. “You aren’t missing going out and hugging friends? Your kids aren’t driving you crazy?” No, they’re really not - I’m loving having so much time with them, helping them with work and watching them be creative in finding things to do. I almost feel pressure to be miserable and feel a lack of connection with my friends that I’m not sharing in their misery.

I went to be authentic in how I’m feeling and mostly, I want to continue this feeling to the degree possible when this over. I’m realizing no one else I know is feeling this way and it’s isolating but also worrisome - how do I not get sucked back into the busy busy busy extrovert thing that makes me so miserable in “regular” life.

Anyone else feeling this way? How will you hold on to some of these lessons learned from this period if so?

Just an observation and not a judgment here: It seems that you were not living authentically before. Seems odd to confess on here while not being able to share with others IRL. With that said, you are still not living authentically.

[Anonymous]

OP, I highly recommend you read the book, Quiet, by Susan Cain, about introversion. It is fascinating, and I think you'll find it validating. It might also give you some guidance for structuring your life post-pandemic.

I listened to the audiobook. It's also good for parents of introverted children.