I am loving quarantine, but no good way to admit it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel the same way but it's not something I say to others. I'm just quietly enjoying the family time.

OP here. This is what I’m curious about and wanting to put words too. Why is it not? Why is it fine to say this is miserable but not fine to say that I’m finding peace and gratitude? I definitely agree based on the conversations I’ve had and have stopped saying it. But why?

Because inane thoughts during a world pandemic should be kept to yourself. There is a huge amount of death and destruction going on. If that does not bother you and your life is now better, just shut it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You were doing life wrong if a pandemic quarantine has made your life better.

No, the American way of work was doing it wrong, insisting that everyone needed their butt in an office chair 5 days a week.

+1000. 5 days a week and limited vacation time is the real problem. Why won't our country wake up? We are so far behind others in terms of balance and quality of life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First let me say, that I completely recognize how privileged and lucky I am to be in this position and feel very grateful. We are donating money to places helping those less fortunate in this downturn, supporting our local businesses, etc. I completely get that this is devastating for many people and businesses. Which does not negate that for me personally, I have been feeling at peace for weeks in a way I have not for years.

I am working full time as is my husband, and we have two kids, so we’re managing the online schooling, which has been challenging. We’re doing occasional virtual happy hours and keeping in touch with friends by text and phone. But the running around busy-ness and the social activities and the commuting and everything that drives me crazy is gone. I have time and patience, I’m being honest with friends if I just don’t feel like doing something social, I just decline and catch them next time instead of pushing myself into a bunch of stuff I don’t want to do. I’m doing activities I love in my house, playing games with the kids and catching up on housework.

My anxiety and light depression is gone - there’s no overwhelming choice of what I SHOULD be doing. I am release from the guilt of just doing what I want, which for the most part is a slow and simple life with the people I love. I buy only what I need and then don’t think about what I want. I’m not overwhelmed with social interaction. I’m very introverted and it exhausts me, but I feel pressured to go out and have fun and keep up with a bunch of friends.

I have had to have the same conversation with several friends and coworkers - “how are you holding up?” They’ll say and share their stories about how they miss regular life and they’re being driven up the walls and their kids won’t do their work, and I’m not overly honest, but generally say I’m surprised that I’m enjoying it so much. And it’s kind of a conversation killer. “You aren’t missing going out and hugging friends? Your kids aren’t driving you crazy?” No, they’re really not - I’m loving having so much time with them, helping them with work and watching them be creative in finding things to do. I almost feel pressure to be miserable and feel a lack of connection with my friends that I’m not sharing in their misery.

I went to be authentic in how I’m feeling and mostly, I want to continue this feeling to the degree possible when this over. I’m realizing no one else I know is feeling this way and it’s isolating but also worrisome - how do I not get sucked back into the busy busy busy extrovert thing that makes me so miserable in “regular” life.

Anyone else feeling this way? How will you hold on to some of these lessons learned from this period if so?

How old are you and your kids? Other than having to commute, why can't life be similar after coronavirus? Sounds like you put a lot of weird pressure on yourself to "socialize" and do other things you don't want to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel the same way but it's not something I say to others. I'm just quietly enjoying the family time.

OP here. This is what I’m curious about and wanting to put words too. Why is it not? Why is it fine to say this is miserable but not fine to say that I’m finding peace and gratitude? I definitely agree based on the conversations I’ve had and have stopped saying it. But why?

Because there is something inherently wrong about saying you enjoy a situation that has resulted in extreme suffering for literally billions of people worldwide, in one way or another. Just like your grandmother on the home front didn’t go aroud telling people she enjoyed World War II because it gave her more time to garden and sew. Did you really need that exolained to you?

[Anonymous]

OP here. I understand why I can’t say it, thank you.

[Anonymous]

I'm with you 100% OP. I even started a post about it - something like why is it okay to complain but not okay to say it's enoyable? Personally, I think it's more tone deaf to complain right now than be grateful we're able to stay at home and enjoy it at a time like this, but apparently we are the minority. I am loving the simplicity and family time of home life. I wish I never had to go back to working in the office all week again.

[Anonymous]

I too am enjoying the slow pace and time with my kids. In some ways it's ironic - my kids are so little I can't hit my full 40 hours, so I've been approved for limited unpaid leave, which would be the ideal schedule I could never ask for in "regular" life.

But at the same time, this is only the beginning. The virus hasn't hit my household, extended family, or friends yet. Not to mention that one family member is furloughed and two more are expecting layoffs soon. And while it's fine for the baby and employed adults, the older kids are missing their friends, playgrounds, teachers, etc. So when people ask, I say we're doing well for now, but I certainly don't gush.

[Anonymous]

The WWII analogy was helpful, thank you.

[Anonymous]

I’m not loving quarantine, but I am grateful for the extra time with my family. Our dog died of cancer last week, and having that time at home with him in his last days was priceless.

Yes, I am concerned about our health, and our extended family, and the economy, and are the kids watching too much TV, and am I accomplishing my professional goals, but on the whole, I am much more at peace than I was before. I am realizing that the commute and the evening hustle, and the general toxicity of my office was soul-sucking, and that relationships were suffering because of it.

We are discussing lifestyle changes we want to make when things return to the new normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I understand why I can’t say it, thank you.

Actually, you don’t seem to understand at all. Why even start this exceedingly stupid thread? Glad you are enjoying your desperately boring and empty life. The people killing themselves to deliver your packages and pick up your trash are not having the same soulless fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm with you 100% OP. I even started a post about it - something like why is it okay to complain but not okay to say it's enoyable? Personally, I think it's more tone deaf to complain right now than be grateful we're able to stay at home and enjoy it at a time like this, but apparently we are the minority. I am loving the simplicity and family time of home life. I wish I never had to go back to working in the office all week again.

I think there are tactful ways to say this, like "I'm so grateful we're all healthy and safe right now," "this is giving me perspective on what's most important in life," "I'm focusing a lot on living in the moment," and so on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm with you 100% OP. I even started a post about it - something like why is it okay to complain but not okay to say it's enoyable? Personally, I think it's more tone deaf to complain right now than be grateful we're able to stay at home and enjoy it at a time like this, but apparently we are the minority. I am loving the simplicity and family time of home life. I wish I never had to go back to working in the office all week again.

I think there are tactful ways to say this, like "I'm so grateful we're all healthy and safe right now," "this is giving me perspective on what's most important in life," "I'm focusing a lot on living in the moment," and so on.

This is super helpful, thank you. If I say it again, I’ll focus on this angle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm with you 100% OP. I even started a post about it - something like why is it okay to complain but not okay to say it's enoyable? Personally, I think it's more tone deaf to complain right now than be grateful we're able to stay at home and enjoy it at a time like this, but apparently we are the minority. I am loving the simplicity and family time of home life. I wish I never had to go back to working in the office all week again.

I think there are tactful ways to say this, like "I'm so grateful we're all healthy and safe right now," "this is giving me perspective on what's most important in life," "I'm focusing a lot on living in the moment," and so on.

No, those are just shallow and empty sounding humble brags. How smug.

[Anonymous]

I am loving it too. I’m properly rested. My kids are rested which is huge! Being able to follow my natural body clock is quite simply amazing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You were doing life wrong if a pandemic quarantine has made your life better.

No, the American way of work was doing it wrong, insisting that everyone needed their butt in an office chair 5 days a week.

+1000. 5 days a week and limited vacation time is the real problem. Why won't our country wake up? We are so far behind others in terms of balance and quality of life.

There are many companies now that offer 1-2 days of teleworking. It should be standard across the board. I believe France (I think?) has a 4 day work week, with a heavy emphasis on lunchtime.