Dating an older man

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1) Understand that he is one and done (without medical intervention)

2) he will feel luck to be dating a younger woman.

He could have different taste in music. Mid 80's is very different than late 90's....

(I am a 56 yo man.. I know my issues...)

In the last year I slept with two men in their 50s. Both could go more than once. We had sex 6 times in two days when we first got together...(I'm 56)

My husband is 68 and he was awesome Saturday night at 11pm and again Sunday morning at 7am. Yes, he did have a good nights sleep and I'm glad I was able to keep up with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It works well until he is somewhere between 70 and 75.

But by then, you're thinking about the inheritance.

[Anonymous]

unless he left it all to his kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH is 56, and fairly fit. He would be happy with sex everyday. Having stated that, when DH hits his retirement years, I will still be in the workforce for another six years. I can't imagine if we were 15 years apart, and how long he'd have to wait for me to stop working for us to enjoy our golden years together. I guess if you were super wealthy, this would not be an issue.

You should’ve married old AND rich.

Not if it meant being married to someone like Trump. Yuck! I'd rather stay single and work till retirement age.

Most people do not age well, man or woman. There are outliers, of course, but most people just don't age well, and the idea of dating an old man is gross, and I say this as a 50 yr old woman. When I'm 65, he would be 80. Right as I hit retirement age and wanting to relax, chances are, the man would be slowing down and needing care. No thank you.

Totally this!

+2. On point.

[Anonymous]

Put him in a home.

[Anonymous]

I have a dear friend who when in her early 30’s married a man in his late 40’s. By his mid-60’s he looked and acted very old and in his early 70’s he was physically in very poor shape and when he passed away in his mid-70’s he was basically an invalid. She was 60 at the time and from age 50 on she was taking care of a very old man. She truly loved him but it was so sad to see her, in the prime of her life, living a very lonely life. She is a very attractive, successful and fun woman who missed out on so much. I’m sure they had 20 very good years together but is that enough?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a dear friend who when in her early 30’s married a man in his late 40’s. By his mid-60’s he looked and acted very old and in his early 70’s he was physically in very poor shape and when he passed away in his mid-70’s he was basically an invalid. She was 60 at the time and from age 50 on she was taking care of a very old man. She truly loved him but it was so sad to see her, in the prime of her life, living a very lonely life. She is a very attractive, successful and fun woman who missed out on so much. I’m sure they had 20 very good years together but is that enough?

Average marriage lasts 8 years and you figure at least two of those years were crappy before the divorce, so she got over 3x that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am 39. In all honesty I cannot date men older than 45. I have tried. Sexually it is just too disappointing.

I understand. I can't date women over 30, because their bodies are too sexually disappointing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a dear friend who when in her early 30’s married a man in his late 40’s. By his mid-60’s he looked and acted very old and in his early 70’s he was physically in very poor shape and when he passed away in his mid-70’s he was basically an invalid. She was 60 at the time and from age 50 on she was taking care of a very old man. She truly loved him but it was so sad to see her, in the prime of her life, living a very lonely life. She is a very attractive, successful and fun woman who missed out on so much. I’m sure they had 20 very good years together but is that enough?

Average marriage lasts 8 years and you figure at least two of those years were crappy before the divorce, so she got over 3x that.

10 years of sustained misery is a long time. I feel for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am 39. In all honesty I cannot date men older than 45. I have tried. Sexually it is just too disappointing.

Even with the little pill?

Honestly the little pill can be frustrating. YOu have to wait around for it to kick in. It is not the same as youth.

[Anonymous]

I dated in my 40's and decided I would date my age or 2 years older. I'm female.

I got a gazillion hits from old guys on line. Honestly if the dude is in my Dad's age bracket I'm not going there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a dear friend who when in her early 30’s married a man in his late 40’s. By his mid-60’s he looked and acted very old and in his early 70’s he was physically in very poor shape and when he passed away in his mid-70’s he was basically an invalid. She was 60 at the time and from age 50 on she was taking care of a very old man. She truly loved him but it was so sad to see her, in the prime of her life, living a very lonely life. She is a very attractive, successful and fun woman who missed out on so much. I’m sure they had 20 very good years together but is that enough?

Average marriage lasts 8 years and you figure at least two of those years were crappy before the divorce, so she got over 3x that.

10 years of sustained misery is a long time. I feel for her.

If you are the PP who knew her, you did not say that she was actually “miserable”. You were just looking at it from the outside. Maybe she was happy to be with him even in physical decline. She did have a choice in the matter, after all. Nobody forced her to stay with him for those final 10 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a dear friend who when in her early 30’s married a man in his late 40’s. By his mid-60’s he looked and acted very old and in his early 70’s he was physically in very poor shape and when he passed away in his mid-70’s he was basically an invalid. She was 60 at the time and from age 50 on she was taking care of a very old man. She truly loved him but it was so sad to see her, in the prime of her life, living a very lonely life. She is a very attractive, successful and fun woman who missed out on so much. I’m sure they had 20 very good years together but is that enough?

I think 20 good years is a lot to be deeply grateful for actually. And I am always skeptical in reading this kind of outside account. "From age 50 on she was taking care of a very old man". To her he was likely more than just " a very old man" right? You said she loved him, that this was her husband and that ultimately, this was where their path led them. You don't know that she felt she missed out. It sounds profoundly sad yes. But also like they saw their commitment through to the end. There is a beauty in that. And people who marry older partners know the risks. She chose him anyway. We all age, we make our choices and no one knows the future. A lot of couples cannot achieve 20 very good years. I am married 20 years, me and my husband are both in our 50's, healthy, with many advantages..We take nothing for granted. And if he became ill or tragedy struck, I would hope whatever our future held, it would not take away from the Love we shared in the first part of our lives together. It would deepen it.

[Anonymous]

My rule has always been "from 4 years younger to 4 years older." That the bracket. I need to be with someone who can related to my own college years.

I am 56 and love dating. This bracket has always worked well for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a dear friend who when in her early 30’s married a man in his late 40’s. By his mid-60’s he looked and acted very old and in his early 70’s he was physically in very poor shape and when he passed away in his mid-70’s he was basically an invalid. She was 60 at the time and from age 50 on she was taking care of a very old man. She truly loved him but it was so sad to see her, in the prime of her life, living a very lonely life. She is a very attractive, successful and fun woman who missed out on so much. I’m sure they had 20 very good years together but is that enough?

Average marriage lasts 8 years and you figure at least two of those years were crappy before the divorce, so she got over 3x that.

10 years of sustained misery is a long time. I feel for her.

If you are the PP who knew her, you did not say that she was actually “miserable”. You were just looking at it from the outside. Maybe she was happy to be with him even in physical decline. She did have a choice in the matter, after all. Nobody forced her to stay with him for those final 10 years.

I am NP who posted the 10 year comment. Just felt sorry to hear that about the lady.