Dating an older man

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1) Understand that he is one and done (without medical intervention)

2) he will feel luck to be dating a younger woman.

He could have different taste in music. Mid 80's is very different than late 90's....

(I am a 56 yo man.. I know my issues...)

Speak for yourself. I can go for two to three on a lazy Sunday afternoon and twice after a night out. 53yo man.

I also disagree with you on music. It’s not like as you age you stop listening to new music. I’m the 53yo male and I was into music in the 90s and 00s etc. why would I stop enjoying contemporary music?

I am going to answer both previous response and the current one.

The one and done for me means a refactory period measured in hours not minutes. I can do two in a day, but, not back to back. The flip side is 1) I last longer, and 2) I know how to use my body much better Than when I was younger.

As for the music, obviously, I was projecting. The music I like the most is the stuff I listened to in HS and college. Once I hit grad school, I stopped listening to new music, unless it was an artist I knew. In grad school nearly every free minute was spent in the lab...and by the time I finished, I just did not have the patience for new music (mid 90's music did not do it for me). I found, when single, that this was an issue. I can listen to Bruce all day....and when I was 34 and single, I tried dating a 25 yo. She would put the radio on what I considered crap stations. (Sex was good, though, and I was not one and done in my 30's.). This is just me, of course.

[Anonymous]

I am 39. In all honesty I cannot date men older than 45. I have tried. Sexually it is just too disappointing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am 39. In all honesty I cannot date men older than 45. I have tried. Sexually it is just too disappointing.

Even with the little pill?

[Anonymous]

The thing about ending up a caretaker is that there’s a good chance it won’t happen on schedule like that. People get sick, people age differently.

Even if you were the same age, you should have a plan for long term care. So maybe this just underlines that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1) Understand that he is one and done (without medical intervention)

2) he will feel luck to be dating a younger woman.

He could have different taste in music. Mid 80's is very different than late 90's....

(I am a 56 yo man.. I know my issues...)

Speak for yourself. I can go for two to three on a lazy Sunday afternoon and twice after a night out. 53yo man.

I also disagree with you on music. It’s not like as you age you stop listening to new music. I’m the 53yo male and I was into music in the 90s and 00s etc. why would I stop enjoying contemporary music?

I am going to answer both previous response and the current one.

The one and done for me means a refactory period measured in hours not minutes. I can do two in a day, but, not back to back. The flip side is 1) I last longer, and 2) I know how to use my body much better Than when I was younger.

As for the music, obviously, I was projecting. The music I like the most is the stuff I listened to in HS and college. Once I hit grad school, I stopped listening to new music, unless it was an artist I knew. In grad school nearly every free minute was spent in the lab...and by the time I finished, I just did not have the patience for new music (mid 90's music did not do it for me). I found, when single, that this was an issue. I can listen to Bruce all day....and when I was 34 and single, I tried dating a 25 yo. She would put the radio on what I considered crap stations. (Sex was good, though, and I was not one and done in my 30's.). This is just me, of course.

Who cares about how many orgasms he can have? She should care about whether he can have any and how many she can have. I know zero women who are like, oh, I’m in it for his orgasm. I gotta have several.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH is 56, and fairly fit. He would be happy with sex everyday. Having stated that, when DH hits his retirement years, I will still be in the workforce for another six years. I can't imagine if we were 15 years apart, and how long he'd have to wait for me to stop working for us to enjoy our golden years together. I guess if you were super wealthy, this would not be an issue.

To be honest, most men would be happy as could be if their wives left the house for 8 hours a day even if they were both retired.

"Don't stop working, babe! I will struggle along manfully without you until you get home!"

Not my DH. He would like for me to retire with him. I guess if OP's man would rather she continue to work and be out of the house for 8 hours/day, then that might give her a clue as to how their long term relationship might look like in 15 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1) Understand that he is one and done (without medical intervention)

2) he will feel luck to be dating a younger woman.

He could have different taste in music. Mid 80's is very different than late 90's....

(I am a 56 yo man.. I know my issues...)

In the last year I slept with two men in their 50s. Both could go more than once. We had sex 6 times in two days when we first got together...(I'm 56)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1) Understand that he is one and done (without medical intervention)

2) he will feel luck to be dating a younger woman.

He could have different taste in music. Mid 80's is very different than late 90's....

(I am a 56 yo man.. I know my issues...)

Is this an issue for older women? I am getting divorced soon from a sexless marriage, and can't even fathom there are women out there that want to do it multiple times a week let alone a day. Don't tease me!

I do hear that second marriages have a ton of issues but sex isn't one of them.

I am a 56 yr old widow. I would have ALL the sex all the time if I could find a guy who is compatible and doesn't flake. LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH is 56, and fairly fit. He would be happy with sex everyday. Having stated that, when DH hits his retirement years, I will still be in the workforce for another six years. I can't imagine if we were 15 years apart, and how long he'd have to wait for me to stop working for us to enjoy our golden years together. I guess if you were super wealthy, this would not be an issue.

You should’ve married old AND rich.

Not if it meant being married to someone like Trump. Yuck! I'd rather stay single and work till retirement age.

Most people do not age well, man or woman. There are outliers, of course, but most people just don't age well, and the idea of dating an old man is gross, and I say this as a 50 yr old woman. When I'm 65, he would be 80. Right as I hit retirement age and wanting to relax, chances are, the man would be slowing down and needing care. No thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am 39. In all honesty I cannot date men older than 45. I have tried. Sexually it is just too disappointing.

My experience with the 46 year old was way different. We could do it 3 times a day, anytime, anywhere. Like kids. Backs of cars, wherever. Best I ever had, actually.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH is 56, and fairly fit. He would be happy with sex everyday. Having stated that, when DH hits his retirement years, I will still be in the workforce for another six years. I can't imagine if we were 15 years apart, and how long he'd have to wait for me to stop working for us to enjoy our golden years together. I guess if you were super wealthy, this would not be an issue.

You should’ve married old AND rich.

Not if it meant being married to someone like Trump. Yuck! I'd rather stay single and work till retirement age.

Most people do not age well, man or woman. There are outliers, of course, but most people just don't age well, and the idea of dating an old man is gross, and I say this as a 50 yr old woman. When I'm 65, he would be 80. Right as I hit retirement age and wanting to relax, chances are, the man would be slowing down and needing care. No thank you.

Totally this!

[Anonymous]

women in their 40s will need to date 15-25+ older. 15 is actually quite normal and on the young side.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The thing about ending up a caretaker is that there’s a good chance it won’t happen on schedule like that. People get sick, people age differently.

Even if you were the same age, you should have a plan for long term care. So maybe this just underlines that.

I respectfully but completely disagree. Men die sooner than women anyway, and are in worse health (just look at Covid deaths and the articles about men's health). So even if a couple is the same exact age, chances are the women become the caretakers and then outlive the men. But in a situation where a man is even older--a younger woman can almost count on all this happening to her sooner. Of course there are exceptions. The woman could fall ill, be hit by a bus. But I think that as far as chances go, being with an older man, especially a decade plus older, it means the woman is not on a parallel path with the man in terms of health and energy.

[Anonymous]

I respectfully but completely disagree. Men die sooner than women anyway, and are in worse health (just look at Covid deaths and the articles about men's health).

You need to make sure you get the base scientific data on the COVID-19 deaths. Often, one factor that contributes to greater fatal outcomes when comparing men v. woman is that men (especially Chinese men) are more often smokers, and being a smoker can greatly increase a person's chance of dying from COVID.

[Anonymous]

I know a few mid 50’s widows who had to take care of their sick spouses for years. They would love to have daily sex even if the quality is not so great.