Really need some good advice teen son spiraling

[Anonymous]

Hold up- four pages of inpatient, boarding school, wilderness programs and pearl clutching. Am I the only one who thinks this is normal right of passage 16 year old behavior and that he will be fine? Maybe he won’t get into a top 20 school but there are thousands of other choices. Jeez Louise he is a teenager. Teenagers suck sometimes then they turn 25 and life gets better. Saying this as a mom of a 25 year old. He smoked pot, attended music festivals, did some harder drugs, brought more girls home for the night than I can remember, and brought some sleepless nights to his parents but he also attended undergrad with a scholarship, graduated with a triple major in four years, went to grad school and got a good paying job. If your kid is attending school and has passing grades cut him some slack.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hold up- four pages of inpatient, boarding school, wilderness programs and pearl clutching. Am I the only one who thinks this is normal right of passage 16 year old behavior and that he will be fine? Maybe he won’t get into a top 20 school but there are thousands of other choices. Jeez Louise he is a teenager. Teenagers suck sometimes then they turn 25 and life gets better. Saying this as a mom of a 25 year old. He smoked pot, attended music festivals, did some harder drugs, brought more girls home for the night than I can remember, and brought some sleepless nights to his parents but he also attended undergrad with a scholarship, graduated with a triple major in four years, went to grad school and got a good paying job. If your kid is attending school and has passing grades cut him some slack.

OP says her child is spiraling. As a parent who was in the same shoes, you have no idea how bad it can get in a very short time. Apparently your child did not spiral and that’s wonderful for your family. But for heavens sakes, you have nothing to offer. Regardless of the suggestion, at least people are trying to help OP.

On another note. People have mentioned wilderness programs, residential treatment and military program. There are programs that combine the parts of each of these that led to the recommendation. Programs that are based outdoors, with strict standards and structure and robust therapy. That is what put my son back on track.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some sort of exercise could be helpful. Maybe weightlifting or some other sort of fun exercisy thing.
I was sent to literally a remote farm with my grandparents when I went through rebellion phase around 16. That summer is now one of my best memories.

This. Or consider a job of maybe 6 hours a week or so. An outside job would be better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lots of great answers. I would also consider considering his spiritual health and if connecting to God/other spiritual truths could be helpful (not in a legalistic, bashing way of course but in an accepting love/worth kind of way).

I agree with this (I am OP) as it’s how I deal with all of this but not sure how you make someone to that. He’s been exposed.

I recently changed churches at my teen DD's urging. We are in a new church community that is way more engaging for my teens and for me too. Maybe ask him if he wants to check out a new faith community. Just pop into a couple and see if any grab him in a different way.

This. There are some very strong youth programs in the faith community. You have to check out a number of faith communities.

A job--preferably an outside part time job.

Male adults to mentor.

[Anonymous]

My brother was spiraling as a teenager. My parents took him to a lot of therapists due to smoking pot. Therapists (numerous) told my parents that smoking pot was normal and a right of passage as a teen and not to worry about it.

My brother died at a young age from alcoholism.

I'm not a big believer of the touchy feely psychobabble from the therapy community. I think they caused my brother's death at a young age.

Smoking pot is more normalized nowadays than in my brothers time. It is legal in many states.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My brother was spiraling as a teenager. My parents took him to a lot of therapists due to smoking pot. Therapists (numerous) told my parents that smoking pot was normal and a right of passage as a teen and not to worry about it.

My brother died at a young age from alcoholism.

I'm not a big believer of the touchy feely psychobabble from the therapy community. I think they caused my brother's death at a young age.

Smoking pot is more normalized nowadays than in my brothers time. It is legal in many states.

What do you think would’ve helped your brother? Seems like he had a tendency toward addiction. I’d rather marijuana then alcohol abuse to be honest.