Second Date- Yes or No

[Anonymous]

This made me think of the “Sex and the City” episode where Miranda goes on a date with a guy to an Indian restaurant. He does not want to continue things afterwards and wants to go home, and she tells him that she realizes he’s just not that into her. Then he confesses he’s about to have explosive diarrhea from the Indian food.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This made me think of the “Sex and the City” episode where Miranda goes on a date with a guy to an Indian restaurant. He does not want to continue things afterwards and wants to go home, and she tells him that she realizes he’s just not that into her. Then he confesses he’s about to have explosive diarrhea from the Indian food.

Exactly, might as well suggest eating at a chili cook-off or something. Offer a box of colon blow cereal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Recently separated 46 year old UMC, post grad educated, white woman. I'd been married for 14 years. I haven't been with another man since before my husband.

My sister says I needed to say fvck it and just into into Tinder to 'get alive again'

First few dates are just really ick because its obvious the guys think it's basically a booty call. That's not my interest at all.

Match with another guy and we actually correspond for a week before meeting. We meet. He's cute-ish, a little short, but he's professional, well spoken and kind so I'm open to meet again.

I suggest Indian. He says he's never had Indian food. I figure he's kidding but he's not so I say how about Pho. He says he doesn't even know what that is. Alarms are going off. How does a 45 year old urban professional not know about Pho or curry? Just for fun I then suggest Banh Mi. Yeah, never heard of that. He's never been out off the country. He doesn't read, never been to a play etc.

He's incredibly uncultured and its weird given his station.

Would you go out again?

With you? Definitely not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like this is a lot of discussion over something that isn’t going to be marriage. Just go on another date, date enough to have sex. Let him be an ice breaker. You don’t need to try out dating on Mr Perfect while you’re rusty.

+1

[Anonymous]

Please don’t judge men by food choices. I have traveled and lived overseas. I have never had pho, nor do I have any intention to do so. Indian food is not that great and might be too spicy for a first date.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Recently separated 46 year old UMC, post grad educated, white woman. I'd been married for 14 years. I haven't been with another man since before my husband.

My sister says I needed to say fvck it and just into into Tinder to 'get alive again'

First few dates are just really ick because its obvious the guys think it's basically a booty call. That's not my interest at all.

Match with another guy and we actually correspond for a week before meeting. We meet. He's cute-ish, a little short, but he's professional, well spoken and kind so I'm open to meet again.

I suggest Indian. He says he's never had Indian food. I figure he's kidding but he's not so I say how about Pho. He says he doesn't even know what that is. Alarms are going off. How does a 45 year old urban professional not know about Pho or curry? Just for fun I then suggest Banh Mi. Yeah, never heard of that. He's never been out off the country. He doesn't read, never been to a play etc.

He's incredibly uncultured and its weird given his station.

Would you go out again?

A lot of responders are focusing on his food choices. I'm a guy and the bigger red flags to me would be that he doesn't read. I doubt I would be compatible with someone who doesn't read. But I'm a college professor, in two book clubs, have authored two books, subscribe to NY Times, Washing Post, New Yorker, The Atlantic, etc.
I'm a foodie too, but I'd probably be willing to work around the limited cuisine exposure.
The no reading would likely be a deal breaker for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Recently separated 46 year old UMC, post grad educated, white woman. I'd been married for 14 years. I haven't been with another man since before my husband.

My sister says I needed to say fvck it and just into into Tinder to 'get alive again'

First few dates are just really ick because its obvious the guys think it's basically a booty call. That's not my interest at all.

Match with another guy and we actually correspond for a week before meeting. We meet. He's cute-ish, a little short, but he's professional, well spoken and kind so I'm open to meet again.

I suggest Indian. He says he's never had Indian food. I figure he's kidding but he's not so I say how about Pho. He says he doesn't even know what that is. Alarms are going off. How does a 45 year old urban professional not know about Pho or curry? Just for fun I then suggest Banh Mi. Yeah, never heard of that. He's never been out off the country. He doesn't read, never been to a play etc.

He's incredibly uncultured and its weird given his station.

Would you go out again?

The problem is you seem to want to jump into a new relationship. Your sister is right -- get laid a bit. Stop worrying about whether the men you're boinking are cultured or not. I mean, YOU could have some different experiences yourself, you know?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:WTF is pho?

Are you posting from South Dakota or something?

I am sure they have Vietnamese food in Pierre.


PP -- Pho is basically noodle soup in a broth. Different protein options but usually fatty beef.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please don’t judge men by food choices. I have traveled and lived overseas. I have never had pho, nor do I have any intention to do so. Indian food is not that great and might be too spicy for a first date.

Does Canada actually count as "overseas"?

No chance I'd go on a second date with someone who wasn't an adventurous eater, reader, traveler.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please don’t judge men by food choices. I have traveled and lived overseas. I have never had pho, nor do I have any intention to do so. Indian food is not that great and might be too spicy for a first date.

Does Canada actually count as "overseas"?

Only in Erie, Detroit or Duluth

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure why is OP accused of snobbery (love Indian food but don't know what pho is either) - it does seem like this guy lived some kind of an isolated life. He won't all of a sudden become interested in trying different foods (or he will, just so that she likes him for the time being, but not in a long run). Usually this kind of ignorance comes with some other problems, I'd be careful. Food habits are really important for a life together.
Yes, there should be some compromising but not on everything. So far his only asset is that he seems kind.

Really? This seems like such a useless way to judge people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:WTF is pho?

Are you posting from South Dakota or something?

I am sure they have Vietnamese food in Pierre.


PP -- Pho is basically noodle soup in a broth. Different protein options but usually fatty beef.

It's noodles in bone broth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:WTF is pho?

Are you posting from South Dakota or something?

I am sure they have Vietnamese food in Pierre.


PP -- Pho is basically noodle soup in a broth. Different protein options but usually fatty beef.

It's noodles in bone broth.

Its damn delicious.


You can get vegetarian pho too, in a veggie broth.

[Anonymous]

What does "he doesn't read" mean? Is he more of an audiobook type? Does he do a lot of reading for his job and so doesn't do much in his leisure time? Is he interested in completely different genres than you?

In short, did you actually talk to the guy and try to get to know him or just pepper him with questions and catalog his shortcomings?

[Anonymous]

DW here. The fact that you made a food choice “just to mess with him” is disrespectful and demeaning. And insufferable too. Give the guy a break and don’t go on date 2. Hopefully it won’t take him long to pick up in the fact that you are feeling superior to him, and he won’t offer another date.