Overnight visitation when one parent moves out to stay with friends

[Anonymous]

21:36. Actually I have. I am absolutely writing from experience. I was trying to give OP a pep talk.

I do not think OP should do anything like bar him from the home until she discusses her options with a lawyer. I hope it goes well tomorrow, OP.

As for nesting, 21:36 describes long-term nesting, not short-term transitional nesting, which is what we have here in that the children are staying in one residence on a temporary basis until two households have been established. I think OP should stay in a hotel, to avoid conflict, and XTB should pay for it. OP says there isn't money for that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP said she was meeting with a lawyer. I think today, I hope that helps, OP. Also, if you go on antidepressants to help with the anxiety attacks, don't tell your partner. Even if he finds out, he can't use it against you. Going on meds during splits is pretty common. I did -- for anxiety attacks.

As for getting a weekend job, I would think that would be tough because they are hard to find plus you'd give up all your weekend time with the children. Getting one for every other weekend would be great but if dad's sick and can't make the weekend, then what? I agree that volunteering somewhere would be terrific.

My lawyer told me going on meds after a baby and during splits is so common that it really can't be used against you. If it was a negative NOBODY would have thier kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, forgot put that in 12:33.

Even the pets are calmer without all of the screaming.

I have never heard of anyone having visitation overnight at their old house once they moved out. I can't stand the thought of him being here and going through my stuff, etc. He doesn't interact with the kids all that much.

I can't really see us going on like this until mid-June to be honest. I hope the lawyer can help.

Does he scream at you on the phone? I saw a special on that recent custody case in Brazil. The guy recorded his wife's screaming phone calls. Perhaps you could record your STBXH's insanity?

[Anonymous]

Actually they hold almost nothing against parents these days, including being the one to leave and having affairs. As for screaming on the phone ... that happens so often in splits that unless the person is threatening bodily harm or suicide or engaging in serious verbal abuse or calling at 3 ni the morning a few times a week, the lawyers don't care about that either. Actually it's better to scream on the phone than in front of the kids!

[Anonymous]

Can you video tape him doing it in the home?

[Anonymous]

9:43 again, a friend of mine in colorado called 911 and left the phone on the counter while her husband screamed at her (in person). The kids were in the house, too. Thanks to the recording, she was given an order of protection against him. So screaming can be held against a spouse.

[Anonymous]

Yes screaming in front of the children can be held against a spouse but the other things I noted (screaming over the phone, unless it's threatening, who left the marriage, etc.) are rarely held against a spouse in the era of no fault divorce. And please remember the relativity of DC. Screaming college eductaed (presumably) homeowner parents in Chevy Chase DC are nothing compared to the domestic violence/paternity disputes DC's Family Court sees. And please know that going to court is expensive unless you find gratis representation. It will be interesting to hear what the lawyer tells OP.

[Anonymous]

Or who left the relationship.

[Anonymous]

OP,
How did it go?

[Anonymous]

Hi OP how did this weekend go and did the lawyer give good advice?

[Anonymous]

depending on the age of the kids I think going back and forth every other day is to much.
once a week and every other weekend is the set up I have and it works great.
talk to a lawyer. Look out for yourself and the best interests of the kids. He is looking out for himself. I guarantee it.
Don't fool yourself. protect yourself.

[Anonymous]

Who said going back and forth every other day?
The issue is transition.
You could do 4/3, split weekends, and your child would have fewer transitions.