OMG, this is so hard and exhausting!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Could you sell your house and move closer to your jobs OP? That would alleviate some the stress of a three to four hour daily commute for your hubs.

OP is close to her job. Her DH isn’t.

What makes you think they own a house? Just curious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1.5 to 2 hours daily is not doable.

OP here. It has to be doable for awhile. It’s important to both our careers and not forever.

If it has to work, then you just make it work. DH makes the kids lunches before he leaves for work, and gets their daycare/school together and puts it by the door for you. Or, you find another morning chore for him to do that makes your life easier and he does that before he leaves each day. Like putting the kids clothing out (although, my child started dressing himself at 2 because I was a drowning single mom so I had a basket for underwear, shirts, and bottoms - all season appropriate - and he picked one from each basket), or making their breakfast and leaving it out, or something.

If it has to work you’ll just have to suck it up. My husband leaves often before the kids are up (6am). He makes the lunches and gets everything ready as much as possible. I have two kids at two different schools with different hours! I too arrive at work feeling exhausted. We both have long commutes (an hour) and with drop offs and pick up it is a long morning! My husband was unemployed for a while and I had to change Jobs suddenly so we took what we could.

I just tell myself this too shall pass. I look jobs jobs closer to home in the meantime. My husband handles evenings and I think that is worse because kids are tired. I don’t get home until 7.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Could you sell your house and move closer to your jobs OP? That would alleviate some the stress of a three to four hour daily commute for your hubs.

OP is close to her job. Her DH isn’t.

What makes you think they own a house? Just curious.

Well, most people do own. Who is the breadwinner OP? That should help determine things. Do you both really need to work?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you having to do 100% of the childcare? That does not sounds feasible or fair. Your DH needs to handle either the am or pm shift, or if he can't, then you hire someone to do it. Those are your only options!

This is partly dependent on his job and their income distribution. If her husband makes bulk of income, and leaving at 4pm isn’t in the cards for his field, then this arrangement makes sense.

I assume OP already works part time bc I don’t know of any SACC program that would allow a 8.5 hr day and 45 minute commute.

Some people have husbands who travel a lot or who really do have all-consuming jobs. OP knows if this is her or not. At that point, you need practical advice from people who have been there, done that, not advice to "make your husband do more".

Yep. When my kids were little, I did drop off and pick up at two different places. There was no choice. I survived and so will the OP. It just takes time to get organized. My husband helped as much as he could.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Could you sell your house and move closer to your jobs OP? That would alleviate some the stress of a three to four hour daily commute for your hubs.

OP is close to her job. Her DH isn’t.

What makes you think they own a house? Just curious.

Well, most people do own. Who is the breadwinner OP? That should help determine things. Do you both really need to work?

Both are the breadwinners.

[Anonymous]

Yes, it is hard.

Yes, it is exhausting.

Yes, it does get easier.

It gets easier because you get the schedule down and frankly, let non-essential crap go.

You’ll get it honed, OP. Hang in there.

[Anonymous]

For food:
Make muffins for breakfast in bulk. Every weekend I make a big batch of something and freeze it and we have a few choices every week (“Hulk” muffins with spinach, blueberry, paleo poppyseed, bacon cheddar and cornbread, pumpkin walnut, etc). It takes barely more time to make 3 dozen than one dozen.

For lunch they get the same 5 “entrees” every week:
Pigs in blankets, pizza, pbj sandwich, larabars and veggie dino nuggets from aldis. I make the pigs in blankets and veggie pizza as part of my weekend rotation. Also in my rotation is mass-producing pbj sandwiches (I prep 2 loaves at a time and cut sandwiches in half so I can just grab it in the morning without getting everything out and getting crumbs on the counter). For snack and alongside their entree they get fruit. Berries and other time-sensitive things in the beginning of the week, freeze-dried fruit or applesauce pouches towards the end of the week.

For dinner:
We have veggies and hummus and cheese one night a week, breakfast-for-dinner one night a week, bean-dip with chips one night a week and pasta one night a week. Fridays we order out. I cook real meals on the weekend and DH and I take leftovers for lunch two days a week and then do packaged frozen meals the other days.

We wash a load of laundry daily. We all put our clothes right into the washer when they are dirty, then I start it with a delay in the morning and move to the dryer after bed. DH folds and puts away on the weekend. We have a housecleaner every other week and she changes the bedding then too.

For day-to-day mess we keep it from getting too bad by not wearing shoes in the house, being somewhat minimalist with our possessions, and doing a nightly cleanup routine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For food:
Make muffins for breakfast in bulk. Every weekend I make a big batch of something and freeze it and we have a few choices every week (“Hulk” muffins with spinach, blueberry, paleo poppyseed, bacon cheddar and cornbread, pumpkin walnut, etc). It takes barely more time to make 3 dozen than one dozen.

For lunch they get the same 5 “entrees” every week:
Pigs in blankets, pizza, pbj sandwich, larabars and veggie dino nuggets from aldis. I make the pigs in blankets and veggie pizza as part of my weekend rotation. Also in my rotation is mass-producing pbj sandwiches (I prep 2 loaves at a time and cut sandwiches in half so I can just grab it in the morning without getting everything out and getting crumbs on the counter). For snack and alongside their entree they get fruit. Berries and other time-sensitive things in the beginning of the week, freeze-dried fruit or applesauce pouches towards the end of the week.

For dinner:
We have veggies and hummus and cheese one night a week, breakfast-for-dinner one night a week, bean-dip with chips one night a week and pasta one night a week. Fridays we order out. I cook real meals on the weekend and DH and I take leftovers for lunch two days a week and then do packaged frozen meals the other days.

We wash a load of laundry daily. We all put our clothes right into the washer when they are dirty, then I start it with a delay in the morning and move to the dryer after bed. DH folds and puts away on the weekend. We have a housecleaner every other week and she changes the bedding then too.

For day-to-day mess we keep it from getting too bad by not wearing shoes in the house, being somewhat minimalist with our possessions, and doing a nightly cleanup routine.

Genius. Great post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Could you sell your house and move closer to your jobs OP? That would alleviate some the stress of a three to four hour daily commute for your hubs.

OP is close to her job. Her DH isn’t.

What makes you think they own a house? Just curious.

Well, most people do own. Who is the breadwinner OP? That should help determine things. Do you both really need to work?

Both are the breadwinners.

Well there’s the problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Could you sell your house and move closer to your jobs OP? That would alleviate some the stress of a three to four hour daily commute for your hubs.

OP is close to her job. Her DH isn’t.

What makes you think they own a house? Just curious.

Well, most people do own. Who is the breadwinner OP? That should help determine things. Do you both really need to work?

Both are the breadwinners.

Well there’s the problem.

Ugh...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is my second week of daycare for my 16 month old and aftercare for my kindergartener after having a full time nanny. DH has to leave by six in the morning so it’s just me getting the kids up, fed, dressed and all their stuff packed for school and daycare. I do as much as I can the night before and kindergartener can do everything herself but so slowly. Once I get everyone to school, I arrive at work looking like I’ve been through a war and exhausted.

Pick up is easier but I’m so worried that I’m going to be late. Once we get home it’s dinner, bath, bed and then we have to clean out their lunch boxes and make food for their long days.

Last two weekends are nothing but getting everything done for the week. Our nanny used to do all the kids laundry and their meal prep/grocery shopping as well as picking up their rooms and family room. Now it’s up to us and we’ve run out of milk twice already and had to do a midnight run to get lunch supplies.

Please tell me it gets easier.

The first couple weeks with anything regarding little kids is tough.

Yes, it does get easier. You and DH will work out the best, fastest way to do stuff and the kids will get used to the new routines as well.

Don’t listen to the DCUM martyrs - they are pathetic. I promise you it gets easier.

“Martyr” ,“pathetic” = anyone who has a different experience than you...or less money.

The pathetic martyrs are those trashing OP and her husband for just expressing her feelings. If you can’t see this in reading the posts, then you are simply stupid.

You’re kind of a bully. No one is trashing this family. If anything they have gotten helpful suggestions.
Parenting is really hard. Everyone knows that. Why don’t you go have a snack and step away from the Internet?

Oh, Sweetie, either you have reading comprehension issues or your definition of “trashing” means actual murder.

You need the snack, Sweetie, and a good long look in the mirror.

Drunk?!

[Anonymous]

Why doesn’t your husband pick the kids up? Can he go in late a few days and do drip off? Order groceries, plan and plan more. It will get better as they get older.

[Anonymous]

It gets easier.

[Anonymous]

Oh no, I don’t want to hear this! We just decided to get rid of our nanny and do full day pre school next year for both kids. Is this a mistake??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh no, I don’t want to hear this! We just decided to get rid of our nanny and do full day pre school next year for both kids. Is this a mistake??

It’s hard.