OMG, this is so hard and exhausting!
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Anonymous
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This is my second week of daycare for my 16 month old and aftercare for my kindergartener after having a full time nanny. DH has to leave by six in the morning so it’s just me getting the kids up, fed, dressed and all their stuff packed for school and daycare. I do as much as I can the night before and kindergartener can do everything herself but so slowly. Once I get everyone to school, I arrive at work looking like I’ve been through a war and exhausted.
Pick up is easier but I’m so worried that I’m going to be late. Once we get home it’s dinner, bath, bed and then we have to clean out their lunch boxes and make food for their long days. Last two weekends are nothing but getting everything done for the week. Our nanny used to do all the kids laundry and their meal prep/grocery shopping as well as picking up their rooms and family room. Now it’s up to us and we’ve run out of milk twice already and had to do a midnight run to get lunch supplies. Please tell me it gets easier. |
Anonymous
| What happened to the nanny? |
Anonymous
It sounds like the Nanny is no longer working for them. Embrace technology. Use one of the grocery delivery systems. Maybe there is a bit of a surcharge but it reduces the load a bit. Your Kindergartner will get faster as time passes. Aftercare is probably fun for your K. Ask him about what they do but I would put good money on plenty of time on the playground and playing in the SACC room. There are other kids there to play with. Most the kids I know at SACC think it is great, a regular play date. Also, look for after school enrichment programs at your school. I know kids in SACC at my sons school will go to the after school PTA sponsored programs. They are fun and a bit different. A SACC worker comes to get the kids when time is up. We use Alexa and add to the list. DH checks the grocery list on the way home and stops if he needs to. We also use Home Chef for meals. It reduces the meal planning and shopping needs. We keep Mac and Cheese and Fish Sticks in the freezer just in case DS decides he doesn't like whatever is being served. We also keep his favorite veggies and serve one of those regardless of what came with the meal. |
Anonymous
She moved on to another job as we decided on daycare/aftercare because of financial issues. We love our her and she was great but daycare was always the plan. |
Anonymous
| See if you can have husband rearrange his schedule a bit. 6 am is very early to be leaving and so leaves you doing everything in the morning. If he can’t do that, then why not have him deal with pick up as he should get out of work fairly early? |
Anonymous
| You'll get better at it. But yes, having to do both drop off and pick up at 2 locations is really hard. My DH drops off and I pick up which makes it more manageable. But doing both means you do all the hardest parts of the day. |
Anonymous
| Why are you trying to do everything? What does your husband do? If you're doing all the morning stuff, and all the evening stuff....he needs to do something. Or, a lot of things. |
Anonymous
| Is your husband a man baby? Make him do more! |
Anonymous
Meaning he needs to be working like a dog at housework when he gets home if have done 100% of the child care so far that day. |
Anonymous
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It will never work in a dual income household if the man doesn’t step up. Men either need to do pickup or drop off.
Also, my daycare provides breakfast for kids. |
Anonymous
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What are you having to pack for school and daycare every night? Does your daycare not provide food? Can the kindergartner eat school lunch? I pack things on Sunday night (clean sheets/blanket, diapers and wipes, whatever extra items needed...like a small pumpkin this week).
I have a pre-schooler and 18-month-old and I am on my own with them most mornings. I lay out clothes the night before for the preschooler and she gets herself dressed in the morning. I either shower the night before or get up 30 minutes before they're up to shower and get dressed. Then I get the younger one up and dressed, feed them breakfast (fresh fruit and cereal), clean up, do hair, and we go out the door to their two separate drop-offs. And I do at least one of the pick-ups too so I am very much with you on the rushing home, always running late thing. I cook a couple meals on Sunday so I don't have to cook again until Tuesday or Wednesday. All meals stretch to be dinner for all of us plus lunch for DH and me the next day plus at least dinner for DH when he comes home hangry at 4pm. Freezer stays stocked with Costco chicken nuggets for whenever necessary. I do meal planning on the weekends and add needed groceries to a shared list via Google Home. I make things that are relatively quick, stretch several meals, use up what we have, and that my family will actually eat. This means a lot of pasta and rice-based dishes: spaghetti, chicken alfredo, coconut curry, tacos, meatballs/meatloaf, etc. I throw in steamed frozen veggies on the side most nights. Maybe get a housekeeper for laundry and groceries/meals? Laundry kills me but I do admittedly get some help there most weeks from MIL who will wash and fold the kids' laundry once a week. So it's just my own laundry that kills me unless she's out of town or decides she doesn't feel like doing it (which is fine, she does it as a favor, I don't expect it). Tends to sit in the hamper for very long periods of time. |
Anonymous
| ^^PP w/ preschooler and 18-m/o here: Either DH gets groceries based on shared list, or I do Walmart grocery pickup and he goes to Costco during the week for the things we don't but at Walmart (i.e. meat, diapers/wipes, etc). |
Anonymous
| Part time college student who does pick up in the afternoon and helps with after school/pre-bedtime for both kids and helps with house tidying. It's a life saver and still cheaper than a full time nanny. |
Anonymous
| Grocery delivery for the food issue. It's free. Set up a recurring list that gets delivered every Sunday night or something and you'll never run out of staples. You just pay tip. I haven't been to the supermarket in probably two months. |
Anonymous
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You sacrificed your mental health and easier life for money. Not judging you, just stating facts.
Agree with others that your spouse should step up and help out more. |