OMG, this is so hard and exhausting!

[Anonymous]

This has been my life for 14 years minus the husband and his income. If you don't have any extra money to outsource (I don't), you just keep on keeping on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This has been my life for 14 years minus the husband and his income. If you don't have any extra money to outsource (I don't), you just keep on keeping on.

Exactly!! It’s a lot to get used to, but you figure it out.

[Anonymous]

Thank you for convincing me that we should always keep a nanny/housekeeper around, even after the kids are in school FT! I would rather spend quality time after work than rushing to clean. And the lunch options PPs have mentioned are nutritionally deficit. No thanks!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank you for convincing me that we should always keep a nanny/housekeeper around, even after the kids are in school FT! I would rather spend quality time after work than rushing to clean. And the lunch options PPs have mentioned are nutritionally deficit. No thanks!

+1 especially on the lunches

[Anonymous]

I know this is probably controversial, but as someone who doesn’t have kids yet, it’s stories like this that really give me pause. Like, is it really worth it? You sacrifice so much, only to get pst this stage and onto the next. Plus the saving for college, and the endless worry, and on and on. Seems so much easier just not to do it, yet most do. Why?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh no, I don’t want to hear this! We just decided to get rid of our nanny and do full day pre school next year for both kids. Is this a mistake??

What are your commutes and hours like? If one or both of you have very, very long commutes, then you might want to reconsider. You have to think about the whole picture (commutes, hours, drop-offs, cooking, laundry, etc.) when making these decisions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know this is probably controversial, but as someone who doesn’t have kids yet, it’s stories like this that really give me pause. Like, is it really worth it? You sacrifice so much, only to get pst this stage and onto the next. Plus the saving for college, and the endless worry, and on and on. Seems so much easier just not to do it, yet most do. Why?

Probably best if you start a new thread for this.

[Anonymous]

So, if he’s commuting 2 hours each way so you can be close to work, then it’s all on you. I disagree with everyone who says it gets better...yes, it becomes less physically demanding when the kids get older. But, the homework, activities, problems ramp up up up.

I think this is a recipe to end your marriage, you’re both going to become resentful trolls. But, you do you.

[Anonymous]

You’ll all get better at this. Hang in there.

Also, learn your weekly traffic patterns certain days I have to leave work/home earlier to make it to daycare. I do all daycare shuttling and my commute varies 30 mins to 1 hour 30 mins depending on when I leave city. I have the shorter commute.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh no, I don’t want to hear this! We just decided to get rid of our nanny and do full day pre school next year for both kids. Is this a mistake??

What are your commutes and hours like? If one or both of you have very, very long commutes, then you might want to reconsider. You have to think about the whole picture (commutes, hours, drop-offs, cooking, laundry, etc.) when making these decisions.

I will be doing drop off and pick up and working 9-5. Twice a week kids will be picked up at 4:30. Husband can occasionally drop off. I already make lunches for kids. Nanny currently does Laundry.

[Anonymous]

You can make lunches night before, put in fridge and they will be fine by lunchtime. Buy lots of milk and freeze.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh no, I don’t want to hear this! We just decided to get rid of our nanny and do full day pre school next year for both kids. Is this a mistake??

What are your commutes and hours like? If one or both of you have very, very long commutes, then you might want to reconsider. You have to think about the whole picture (commutes, hours, drop-offs, cooking, laundry, etc.) when making these decisions.

I will be doing drop off and pick up and working 9-5. Twice a week kids will be picked up at 4:30. Husband can occasionally drop off. I already make lunches for kids. Nanny currently does Laundry.

also forgot to mention I live 20 mins from work. Pre school is down the street. This seems reasonable right?

[Anonymous]

Your life sounds like mine. Kids are 7 and 3 so I do two separate drop offs and 2 separate pick ups. Husband leaves later but doesn’t help (no need to get into that right now) in the morning and gets home too late to help in the evening. Plus three nights a week of picking everyone up, eating a quick dinner and off to evening sports/lessons.
I pack 2 lunches every other night so I’m not doing it every night. I line up 5 water bottles per kid on the weekend, fill and store in the fridge so it’s a quick grab and go in the morning. I also line up 5 snack bags and do the same (for my first grader). I make dinners on the weekends so most weeknights I can reheat and serve. Meals are basic and I use my slow cooker and pressure cooker to make 2 meals at the same time at some point during the weekend. Each night I do one person’s laundry and put that laundry away the next night So it doesn’t pile up. Also makes it easier to sort and fold if the load is only one person’s clothes. Even if it sits clean and folded for a few days, at least it makes it it that person’s bedroom!
Grocery delivery is a must for me. Helps me plan for the week, saves time and money (less impulse buying than if i were in the store roaming up and down the aisles with two kids begging for treats).
I threw in the towel and hired a cleaner. I just couldn’t keep up with it anymore.
I bathe the three year old in one bathroom, and the 7 year old in the bathroom across the hall. He’s old enough now for me to trust him but I’m constantly peeking in to check on him. I get them ready for bed (and for school in the morning) together which adds some silliness and chaos but it’s the only way to keep everyone moving. We read in one bed together ( when they were younger I had to do all of this separately for them which took much longer).
I’ve had several years to get into this routine and as they get older they can do more for themselves. And i left a job i loved for a job that is closer to home. I still work full time but a short commute gives me extra time in the day. Hang in there is all I can say!
I tell myself that I’ll never look back and say I missed out on their lives because I literally do everything! And one day they will be grown and gone and I’ll long for the days when I had time with them everyday.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank you for convincing me that we should always keep a nanny/housekeeper around, even after the kids are in school FT! I would rather spend quality time after work than rushing to clean. And the lunch options PPs have mentioned are nutritionally deficit. No thanks!

My kids are 11 (twins) and we still NEED the nanny. It makes a massive difference to our quality of life and more importantly the kids quality of life. We have had to transition to a different nanny though and now have one who bills herself as a nanny/household manager. She does all the kids’ laundry and folds all of our towels and sheets and runs all of our errands and does grocery shopping and sweeps and vacuums and mops and makes the kids jeep their stuff clean and handles all the random kid paperwork (permission slips, reading logs, box tops, etc. etc.) and keeps on top of the kids’ wardrobes and cooks a nightly family dinner and packs lunches and schleps the kids to activities and helps with homework and provides backup care for sick days and teacher work days and winter break and in the summer they do a few weeks of camps, a family vacation and a few weeks of Camp Nanny.

And when you really do the math on how much it costs to have schoolyear aftercare, housecleaner, markup on groceries via delivery service, the cost of eating out more or buying packaged convenience foods vs. having a home-cooked meal, full-day camps with before and aftercare for school breaks, last-minute backup sitters, having to pay full-price for all their clothes because I don’t have time to shop around for bargains, etc., the nanny is not ad much of a luxury as one might think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank you for convincing me that we should always keep a nanny/housekeeper around, even after the kids are in school FT! I would rather spend quality time after work than rushing to clean. And the lunch options PPs have mentioned are nutritionally deficit. No thanks!

My kids are 11 (twins) and we still NEED the nanny. It makes a massive difference to our quality of life and more importantly the kids quality of life. We have had to transition to a different nanny though and now have one who bills herself as a nanny/household manager. She does all the kids’ laundry and folds all of our towels and sheets and runs all of our errands and does grocery shopping and sweeps and vacuums and mops and makes the kids jeep their stuff clean and handles all the random kid paperwork (permission slips, reading logs, box tops, etc. etc.) and keeps on top of the kids’ wardrobes and cooks a nightly family dinner and packs lunches and schleps the kids to activities and helps with homework and provides backup care for sick days and teacher work days and winter break and in the summer they do a few weeks of camps, a family vacation and a few weeks of Camp Nanny.

And when you really do the math on how much it costs to have schoolyear aftercare, housecleaner, markup on groceries via delivery service, the cost of eating out more or buying packaged convenience foods vs. having a home-cooked meal, full-day camps with before and aftercare for school breaks, last-minute backup sitters, having to pay full-price for all their clothes because I don’t have time to shop around for bargains, etc., the nanny is not ad much of a luxury as one might think.

Wanted to add that we really did do the math on this and we spend around $60,000 annually on having a nanny. We would have spent around $35,000 on having before-and-aftercare for two kids during school year and summer, And an extra 7 weeks of camps every year. That is not even counting random last-minute sitters for sick days or coverage for all the teacher work days, presidents day, etc.