Men who travel for work: do you always cheat?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband is a former USSS agent. He said they all cheat. All of them. So when we are together with friends whose husbands are agents, it's all i think about. She's clueless and he's happy as a clam interacting with his family.

Wasn’t there a scandal story about this a few years ago? I had an acquaintance with USSS who I can’t imagine having an affair, but one never knows, do they?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband is a former USSS agent. He said they all cheat. All of them. So when we are together with friends whose husbands are agents, it's all i think about. She's clueless and he's happy as a clam interacting with his family.

Wasn’t there a scandal story about this a few years ago? I had an acquaintance with USSS who I can’t imagine having an affair, but one never knows, do they?

That was my first thought too. There was a big prostitution scandal in the secret service, and it came out that everyone knew it was rampant.

The people I know over the years who have cheated and/or visited prostitutes are not that surprising. They have personality traits, or failings, that just don't surprise me.

[Anonymous]

As a 50-year-old male, most of my friends who have divorced is because their wife cheated. My married male friends do not discuss if they have cheated, and I wouldn't either because some couples tell each other everything. But no, I have not cheated, and although it might be fun to consider the possibility, I would never go through with it.

[Anonymous]

I actually hear more about women cheating on business trips.

[Anonymous]

I suspect dh cheats...at online Scrabble. No way does he know half those words!!!

DH travels one week out of three. I suppose it's possible but I don't suspect it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband spent years traveling and there were times during relo's when he'd be gone for two weeks at a time. I've never had a reason to suspect that he cheated given we have a great relationship and he has a very strong moral compass. When I read all of these stories about cheating it seems to come down to those two things - a strong relationship and moral compass. I know a lot of men who are like this so my husband isn't unique.

To be clear, a strong relationship in this context means they have a normal active sex life when home. Without that, the moral compass is irrelevant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband is a former USSS agent. He said they all cheat. All of them. So when we are together with friends whose husbands are agents, it's all i think about. She's clueless and he's happy as a clam interacting with his family.

Wasn’t there a scandal story about this a few years ago? I had an acquaintance with USSS who I can’t imagine having an affair, but one never knows, do they?

That was my first thought too. There was a big prostitution scandal in the secret service, and it came out that everyone knew it was rampant.

The people I know over the years who have cheated and/or visited prostitutes are not that surprising. They have personality traits, or failings, that just don't surprise me.

Check th Ashley Madison list. The names, if you know any, are not surprising at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a very active libido and I like to think of my bedroom skills as being “active and adventurous.” If my husband was to cheat I think he would be very disappointed.

+10000

Spot on.

[Anonymous]

Early in my career when I was single I’d see a good amount of it going on because I was interested in it myself given I was single and not in a relationship. I was in my mid-20’s at the time and there were plenty of mid-30’s to 40’s married women who were of the “wheels up, rings off” mentality. In hotel bars as soon as they began to complain about their husbands you knew what was up. Then I got married and I became fairly oblivious to the scene because I didn’t hang out in the bars. 30 years later I’m still oblivious as I’m very happily married and it’s a world I’m completely out of touch with. My wife use to travel a lot for business and she use to get hit on quite frequently and then quickly make an escape and call me outraged by the male pigs. I’d calm her down by reminding her that at least the men have good taste and maybe if she didn’t look so attractive it wouldn’t happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband was gone for two weeks, acted strange when he returned, and finally admitted it. Some of my friends suspect their husbands of this. How common is cheating while on business travel?

How attractive and charming is your husband?

Point being, it's not that easy to cheat. Men try all the time but only the very attractive and successful ones can do it. Even then, cheating is at best, occasionally

Charming, but not someone you would look twice at in America.He was in India at a 5-star hotel. According to him, he was just sitting at the hotel coffee shop during a conference at the hotel when he was propositioned.

Is he white? In some cultures, white partners are seen as a "prize". Ie: "I am good enough!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband is a former USSS agent. He said they all cheat. All of them. So when we are together with friends whose husbands are agents, it's all i think about. She's clueless and he's happy as a clam interacting with his family.

So he cheated on YOU

[Anonymous]

I never cheated and I traveled for years. I never had a reason to cheat nor looked for the opportunity. Maybe I’m dull.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Early in my career when I was single I’d see a good amount of it going on because I was interested in it myself given I was single and not in a relationship. I was in my mid-20’s at the time and there were plenty of mid-30’s to 40’s married women who were of the “wheels up, rings off” mentality. In hotel bars as soon as they began to complain about their husbands you knew what was up. Then I got married and I became fairly oblivious to the scene because I didn’t hang out in the bars. 30 years later I’m still oblivious as I’m very happily married and it’s a world I’m completely out of touch with. My wife use to travel a lot for business and she use to get hit on quite frequently and then quickly make an escape and call me outraged by the male pigs. I’d calm her down by reminding her that at least the men have good taste and maybe if she didn’t look so attractive it wouldn’t happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I worked for a large, well know consulting company and travelled 80-100% for 10 years. Lots of long hours, lots of drinking after work. There was always 1 maybe 2 married guys on a large project that the younger women whispered about. It’s at open secret who the womanizer, philandering or problem drinkers are.

After spending literally thousands of nights in hotels and hotel bars, most men aren’t cheating. The ones that are, would be doing it at home too.

It may also depend on the industry culture. Cheating happens independent of industry and class. However, I wonder if some “industries” attract people with certain propensities. Having traveled quite a bit, I knew of only a few affairs among my colleagues. Of course, maybe they were really good at keeping things on the down low. However, observations of lawyer conventions (as a vendor), it seemed almost expected that married or otherwise coupled people would hook up. It was like open season. Quite eye opening.

I’m in IT and the culture is very work hard - play harder. People go to the same hotel and client for months on end, work long hours together. It seems like a recipe for trouble. Lots of people at my company met their spouse at work - either coworker or client - but I don’t hear of many affairs. I do know one guy who travelled so much he married a gate agent from his home airport.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I worked for a large, well know consulting company and travelled 80-100% for 10 years. Lots of long hours, lots of drinking after work. There was always 1 maybe 2 married guys on a large project that the younger women whispered about. It’s at open secret who the womanizer, philandering or problem drinkers are.

After spending literally thousands of nights in hotels and hotel bars, most men aren’t cheating. The ones that are, would be doing it at home too.

It may also depend on the industry culture. Cheating happens independent of industry and class. However, I wonder if some “industries” attract people with certain propensities. Having traveled quite a bit, I knew of only a few affairs among my colleagues. Of course, maybe they were really good at keeping things on the down low. However, observations of lawyer conventions (as a vendor), it seemed almost expected that married or otherwise coupled people would hook up. It was like open season. Quite eye opening.

I’m in IT and the culture is very work hard - play harder. People go to the same hotel and client for months on end, work long hours together. It seems like a recipe for trouble. Lots of people at my company met their spouse at work - either coworker or client - but I don’t hear of many affairs. I do know one guy who travelled so much he married a gate agent from his home airport.

There are thousands of young consultants on the road Mon-Thurs and they must have great stories to tell. But the older married ones I know are so exhausted that they just crash.