Men who travel for work: do you always cheat?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they are in sales, yes.

Especially if you do a lot of large trade shows in sales, those are open air meat markets

I am in sales, attend a lot of large and small trade shows, travel a lot in general and have never cheated. I respect my wife and our marriage. Why would I risk losing her for a night or two of fun? My wife does an awesome job with DS while I am gone and an amazing job of communicating. We flirt frequently and she sends suggestive/explicit texts without me asking between normal morning and night phone calls. If I am at a dinner and can’t do more than a quick good night call she understands.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband was gone for two weeks, acted strange when he returned, and finally admitted it. Some of my friends suspect their husbands of this. How common is cheating while on business travel?

Always. After eight hours in a conference room, then a client dinner, and then spending an hour or so answering the emails I missed during the day, I put on my Sex Panther cologne and troll the bar at the Courtyard Marriott or similarly branded property. Someone available is always there, nursing some sort of faux tropical drink or unnaturally fruit-flavored margarita, delightfully frumpy in a jaded, I’m-married-too sort of way. Our brief courtship takes minutes, or even seconds—-we both know why we are there at the Courtyard Marriott bar at 11:45 pm on a Tuesday. The whole thing is, of course, ineffably erotic. In the morning, when my alarm goes off at 5:30 because I need to spend a couple hours getting ready for an 8:00 am meeting, I worry about waking her, but she is awake already, poring over an excel spreadsheet of the Q3 widget figures for the upper Midwest. We say nothing. There is nothing to say. Our moment has passed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they are in sales, yes.

Especially if you do a lot of large trade shows in sales, those are open air meat markets

I am in sales, attend a lot of large and small trade shows, travel a lot in general and have never cheated. I respect my wife and our marriage. Why would I risk losing her for a night or two of fun? My wife does an awesome job with DS while I am gone and an amazing job of communicating. We flirt frequently and she sends suggestive/explicit texts without me asking between normal morning and night phone calls. If I am at a dinner and can’t do more than a quick good night call she understands.

I believe you. My business partner is an attractive fit man and he gets hit on, and confides in me that while he fantasizes, he would never risk his marriage. Also says his wife rocks his world in bed, so why risk it. That's the key. Women usually hold the keys to this (and no, not always, some men are dogs and cheat even if they are taken care of at home).

If I had to guess, about half of married men cheat and that is probably 75% plus of those who travel regularly. Not all though

[Anonymous]

^LOL to the above poster.

This post is so refreshing. Finally we hear from men that not all men cheat since typical narrative on here is that most men cheat. There are so many good men out there and so good to see it reinforced on this board.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they are in sales, yes.

Especially if you do a lot of large trade shows in sales, those are open air meat markets

I am in sales, attend a lot of large and small trade shows, travel a lot in general and have never cheated. I respect my wife and our marriage. Why would I risk losing her for a night or two of fun? My wife does an awesome job with DS while I am gone and an amazing job of communicating. We flirt frequently and she sends suggestive/explicit texts without me asking between normal morning and night phone calls. If I am at a dinner and can’t do more than a quick good night call she understands.

I believe you. My business partner is an attractive fit man and he gets hit on, and confides in me that while he fantasizes, he would never risk his marriage. Also says his wife rocks his world in bed, so why risk it. That's the key. Women usually hold the keys to this (and no, not always, some men are dogs and cheat even if they are taken care of at home).

If I had to guess, about half of married men cheat and that is probably 75% plus of those who travel regularly. Not all though

Your fit, attractive business partner “confides” in you about his sexual fantasies while traveling and the quality of sex with his wife? Yeah, that guys cheats.

Not that I’m judging, but grow up. I travel 2-3x per month, and the younger (sub-45) guys I know all cheat in one form or another from time to time. My impression is that many wives who wouldn’t openly admit it are basically OK with it as long as it doesn’t intrude upon the home life.

[Anonymous]

Nah. Who are all these big law lawyers cheating on business travel? My last two work trips I was up until the wee hours of the morning working.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband was gone for two weeks, acted strange when he returned, and finally admitted it. Some of my friends suspect their husbands of this. How common is cheating while on business travel?

Always. After eight hours in a conference room, then a client dinner, and then spending an hour or so answering the emails I missed during the day, I put on my Sex Panther cologne and troll the bar at the Courtyard Marriott or similarly branded property. Someone available is always there, nursing some sort of faux tropical drink or unnaturally fruit-flavored margarita, delightfully frumpy in a jaded, I’m-married-too sort of way. Our brief courtship takes minutes, or even seconds—-we both know why we are there at the Courtyard Marriott bar at 11:45 pm on a Tuesday. The whole thing is, of course, ineffably erotic. In the morning, when my alarm goes off at 5:30 because I need to spend a couple hours getting ready for an 8:00 am meeting, I worry about waking her, but she is awake already, poring over an excel spreadsheet of the Q3 widget figures for the upper Midwest. We say nothing. There is nothing to say. Our moment has passed.

This is great

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nah. Who are all these big law lawyers cheating on business travel? My last two work trips I was up until the wee hours of the morning working.

You must be on the transactional side. Hang with the litigators

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband was gone for two weeks, acted strange when he returned, and finally admitted it. Some of my friends suspect their husbands of this. How common is cheating while on business travel?

How attractive and charming is your husband?

Point being, it's not that easy to cheat. Men try all the time but only the very attractive and successful ones can do it. Even then, cheating is at best, occasionally

Charming, but not someone you would look twice at in America.He was in India at a 5-star hotel. According to him, he was just sitting at the hotel coffee shop during a conference at the hotel when he was propositioned.

Did he pay for it? Because then it is whoring and not strictly cheating.

[Anonymous]

I recently retired and over 35 years I must have taken 700 business trips. For the last 15 years I was a COO or CEO of large businesses and combined with the fact that I’m a decent looking, fit guy with a full head of hair having a ONS would have been very easy. But I never did nor was I ever really tempted to. I certainly had many after dinner conversations with attractive women but I had no interest in letting a conversation drift into affair territory. If we weren’t discussing business I’d find a way to talk about my family and how great they are. It helps that my wife and I have a very active sex life (including last night) so there was never a “I have a deprived need” excuse. If I had been deprived the odds are high I would have cheated so I’m certainly not an altar boy. Except for very early in my career I never saw a business colleague slip away with someone but at the same time I never really paid attention to what other people did after hours. I’m clueless as to how prevalent cheating is on business trips and it’s certainly not something that married guys discuss. Maybe I live in an unreal bubble but I’m happy to be there.

[Anonymous]

My DH travels a ton for the last 20 years, and definitely doesn't cheat - nor does anyone in his very dull industry (think along the lines of actuary-level of fun). Probably 12 years ago, he came back from a trip to Vienna giddy with the news that he was in the hotel lobby at 4am waiting for a cab to the airport, and a guy from his team stumbled into the hotel at that hour - and my DH and I speculated the likelihood of whether he had been with a woman. Otherwise this stuff just isn't happening in his industry. Dh and I have a good sex life, and he's very attractive and fit, in a senior role and dresses well. I doubt he even gets hit on though - because his industry is pretty gender-split and it would just be weird.

A lot of his friends from college ended up in sales, and we speculate that lots of them cheat on their wives. In fact, he was just gobsmacked and couldn't wait to tell me that one of those buddies just confided in him that he went on Ashley Madison years ago, and his wife found out during the hack.

I'm a corporate partner in biglaw - and I travel somewhat frequently (maybe a couple times a quarter) and have never seen anyone cheat, nor do I see how it would fit into our schedules. Plus the guys are all pretty into their wives. DC corporate lawyers are also pretty nerdy. That said, I've heard about others in our firm cheat - I think it's more culturally the norm in NY and in litigation. But the cheater stories are still highly unusual and the subject of lots of whispers and gossip among the rest of the partners (male and female). Certainly not typical or expected in biglaw.

[Anonymous]

As the prior two posts pointed out when a couple has a good sex life that takes away a big reason for cheating. It is certainly not a guarantee by any means but it really improves the odds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As the prior two posts pointed out when a couple has a good sex life that takes away a big reason for cheating. It is certainly not a guarantee by any means but it really improves the odds.

I agree with this. Then check out other threads where wives aren't interested in sex or intentionally withhold it...

[Anonymous]

My BIL travels every week for sales and he definitely does not cheat on my sister. He is reasonably attractive and makes a lot of money so I am sure he gets approached all the time. He also is super personable and talks to everybody. But my sister is 16 years younger than him so he knows he got the good end of the deal in that relationship. She has had two kids and is still super in shape and attractive. Second she would scalp him and serve his balls to him if he ever cheated. She travels a lot as well (also in sales) and she never cheats.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My BIL travels every week for sales and he definitely does not cheat on my sister. He is reasonably attractive and makes a lot of money so I am sure he gets approached all the time. He also is super personable and talks to everybody. But my sister is 16 years younger than him so he knows he got the good end of the deal in that relationship. She has had two kids and is still super in shape and attractive. Second she would scalp him and serve his balls to him if he ever cheated. She travels a lot as well (also in sales) and she never cheats.

PP here - my DH is in big law and travels sometimes but he doesn't cheat either. He has way to much Catholic guilt to be able to cheat. Plus we have an active sex life, when I am not pregnant, and I take care of everything for our house/3 kids so he isn't super stressed other than work.

So no not everybody who travels for work cheats. At least in my world.