Immaturity: Question for Women Only

[Anonymous]

No. Just less insane than women.

[Anonymous]

No. But I do find men much more individualistic and self centered than women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Generally yes, but I think it evens out somewhat later on—after 35 or so.

+ 1

+1 I would say between 30 and 35 for most. Even my DH (now 55) says this.

I would say it either evens out around 35 or never does...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That is, a few years older than me actually, yet, I’m at the point of intolerance of his immaturity. He refuses life coaches or couples therapy or the like. Now, his immature ways are interfering with raising our son. E.g. I asked my son this evening: what did you do at school today? Dh responds right away: nothing!
in a cheerful manner as if it’s a fun joke. I don't get it. Resentment increasing...

Psycho-babble peddlers stay in business because of women like you! We have a similar situation. My DS in middle school would respond in exactly the same way to my wife's question about school (though I don't interject myself in the conversation like your DH does). When will you guys ever learn to stop nagging boys/men? We will share when we feel like it.. Don't waste your money on coaches and therapists. We are very good at passive-aggressive behavior - pretending to listen to them, nodding our heads vigorously, saying the right things, etc - just to get out of having to pay hundreds an hour to listen to the advice we really don't need. We go ahead and do what we think is right anyways..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where I’ve seen most immaturity is among those guys who were true frat boys in college and for five or so years afterwards lived the same lifestyle. They hit their late 20’s and then decide to grow up by which point females their age have long moved on.

I solved this by marrying a woman 5 years younger than me.

I married a woman 1 year older and it definitely has a level of strain that I think would have been alleviated if I married younger like you. Everything from when to have kids, to going out to libido difference. I will openly admit my wife matured faster and was always ready for the next stage.

And no I am not a frat boy video game playing man. Very accomplished and professionally successful

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That is, a few years older than me actually, yet, I’m at the point of intolerance of his immaturity. He refuses life coaches or couples therapy or the like. Now, his immature ways are interfering with raising our son. E.g. I asked my son this evening: what did you do at school today? Dh responds right away: nothing!
in a cheerful manner as if it’s a fun joke. I don't get it. Resentment increasing...

Psycho-babble peddlers stay in business because of women like you! We have a similar situation. My DS in middle school would respond in exactly the same way to my wife's question about school (though I don't interject myself in the conversation like your DH does). When will you guys ever learn to stop nagging boys/men? We will share when we feel like it.. Don't waste your money on coaches and therapists. We are very good at passive-aggressive behavior - pretending to listen to them, nodding our heads vigorously, saying the right things, etc - just to get out of having to pay hundreds an hour to listen to the advice we really don't need. We go ahead and do what we think is right anyways..

- So it’s hopeless. He won’t mature. He won’t go to therapy b/c it did not work in his first marriage. And I’m tired of it all. It’s a fake marriage really as we look so happy on pictures but there is now zero overlap in views.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where I’ve seen most immaturity is among those guys who were true frat boys in college and for five or so years afterwards lived the same lifestyle. They hit their late 20’s and then decide to grow up by which point females their age have long moved on.

I solved this by marrying a woman 5 years younger than me.

I married a woman 1 year older and it definitely has a level of strain that I think would have been alleviated if I married younger like you. Everything from when to have kids, to going out to libido difference. I will openly admit my wife matured faster and was always ready for the next stage.

And no I am not a frat boy video game playing man. Very accomplished and professionally successful

It’s just the way it is. And no one’s fault. But how do you move on living happy? Both - happy.

[Anonymous]

For many guys who were in fraternities it takes many years to outgrow the frat boy MO. Otherwise most decent guys seem to get their act together by their mid to late 20's.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For many guys who were in fraternities it takes many years to outgrow the frat boy MO. Otherwise most decent guys seem to get their act together by their mid to late 20's.

I posted above... DH is 55, and agrees that for most men, they don't really mature till about 30+. DH was not a frat boy and is from the UK.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. But I do find men much more individualistic and self centered than women.

LOL that's pretty funny. I find women much more self-centered than men - and they're pretty cold and ruthless about it, too. Anything you did in the past is worth exactly nothing to a woman - it's all about "what can you do for me right now?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. But I do find men much more individualistic and self centered than women.

LOL that's pretty funny. I find women much more self-centered than men - and they're pretty cold and ruthless about it, too. Anything you did in the past is worth exactly nothing to a woman - it's all about "what can you do for me right now?"

I think in many cases, when there are children involved, the moms tend to be less about their needs and more about the children/family needs (hence they end up as the default parent), but too many men, especially the younger ones, still prioritize their own needs over those of the children/family. Not all, but many do this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. But I do find men much more individualistic and self centered than women.

LOL that's pretty funny. I find women much more self-centered than men - and they're pretty cold and ruthless about it, too. Anything you did in the past is worth exactly nothing to a woman - it's all about "what can you do for me right now?"

I think in many cases, when there are children involved, the moms tend to be less about their needs and more about the children/family needs (hence they end up as the default parent), but too many men, especially the younger ones, still prioritize their own needs over those of the children/family. Not all, but many do this.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. But I do find men much more individualistic and self centered than women.

Lol!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. But I do find men much more individualistic and self centered than women.

LOL that's pretty funny. I find women much more self-centered than men - and they're pretty cold and ruthless about it, too. Anything you did in the past is worth exactly nothing to a woman - it's all about "what can you do for me right now?"

I think in many cases, when there are children involved, the moms tend to be less about their needs and more about the children/family needs (hence they end up as the default parent), but too many men, especially the younger ones, still prioritize their own needs over those of the children/family. Not all, but many do this.

+1000

+ 1. Best,
OP

[Anonymous]

Seemed to me that where there is a young family, in a lot of cases (including my own to a certain extent), the mom prioritizes the kids' needs, the dad prioritizes the mom's needs, and nobody prioritizes the dad's needs.